Best of Whistler 2004 (Subjective) 

Best home hangover cure

One Tums, two Motrin and a 500mL of juice.

Strangest promotion Pique received in the mail

We’ve received Melba Toast, Welch’s Grape Cocktail, organic dot-com beer, and a New York Dolls concert DVD, but the strangest promotion so far has to be two litres of tetra packs with beef, chicken and vegetable bullion from Knorr.

Worst reason to stay away from Whistler

Being offended by something G.D. Maxwell wrote about the current Bush administration. If you’re going to get turned off on an entire resort because of a little satire from our resident shit-kicker, then you really need to get some thicker skin. People offend too easily these days – a shame because people and politics are generally more offensive.

Words and phrases we’re getting sick of hearing

Olympics. Sustainability. Marginal Conditions. We’re sending you to Vancouver to see a specialist. Low hanging fruit. Sick.

Most pervasive local legend

That Whistler was called London Mountain until it was changed to Whistler. It did appear as London Mountain once on a 1928 map of Garibaldi Park, but only because the London Mining Company had a claim up there – locals have always called it Whistler after the whistling sound the local marmots make.

Worst breakdown of the group dynamic

Powder days are just not suited to large groups with diverse opinions, personalities and abilities. You need to come to the mountain with a plan in mind these days – lift A to run B, lift C to run D – to have a decent shot at the deep stuff. With a permanent population of 10,000 locals and probably twice as many second home owners, there are almost no secret stashes anymore – timing is everything.

Worst place to have a mountain bike mechanical

The halfway point on Comfortably Numb – turning back means heading to the Wedgemount parking lot, about 10 kilometres north of the village, and going on means hiking your bike for another two hours. You should be at least as prepared for this trail as you are for a terrorist attack – duct tape, rations, drinking water, and, depending on the time of day you set out, a flashlight. A good knife isn’t a bad option either, after a cougar chased a group of mountain bikers last summer on the Flank Trail.

Best excuses to stay in

In Whistler it’s always someone’s birthday, or going away party, and friends are always visiting and ready to cut loose. It’s hard to say no, but you have to sometimes unless you want to spend every cent you make on restaurants, bars and cabs. To help you out, here’s a list of plausible Whistler excuses that are guaranteed to get you off the hook. Cut them out and tape them on the wall beside the phone.

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