ARIES (March 21-April 19): To the thug who stole my Chevy Malibu from its parking place while I was recording an album in San Francisco back in 1991: I forgive you. To the lovely and talented Artemisia, who couldn't bring herself to fall in love with me as we partied at the Burning Man festival back in 2001: I forgive you. To the agent who helped my writing career so much but also cheated me out of thousands of dollars: I forgive you. To any Aries readers who hate it when I refer to my personal life in their horoscopes, and would much rather I confine myself to talking about them: I forgive you, and recommend that you engage in a more thorough and profound version of the cleansing I just illustrated.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The old saying "You can't have your cake and eat it too" suggests that maybe it's not a good idea to go out on dates with a variety of lovers while you're engaged to be married. Nostradamus scholar John Hogue has taken the spirit of this idea and created a variation that I think applies to you right now, Taurus. "You can't have your past and your future, too," he says. In other words, you cannot fully embrace the exciting and daunting possibilities that loom ahead of you if you also insist on immersing yourself in the pleasures of the past. You can either have the old ways or the new ways, but not both.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): According to my astrological analysis, you currently have a certain resemblance to a vacuum cleaner or a hungry baby or a mini-black hole. Every time I've turned my meditations to the Gemini tribe, I've been hearing a psychic version of a giant sucking sound. What does it all mean? I sense that you're especially voracious right now, almost insatiable - as if you're inclined to engorge and absorb any old thing that you happen to find in front of you. Are my speculations true? If so, I hope and pray that all the things you're finding in front of you are healthy for you. But just in case some of them are not: Would you consider exercising some discrimination about what you allow to enter into the sacred temple of your body and mind?
CANCER (June 21-July 22): These days, your gods can kick the butts of everyone else's gods. Likewise, your lawyers and agents and sidekicks can most likely outwit, outdo and out-wrestle everyone else's. But it's crucial to note that if you try to work alone, you will not be able to kick other people's butts, let alone the butts of their gods, lawyers, agents and sidekicks. The skills of your allies will be indispensable. The way I see it, your test in the coming days will be to overcome any tendency you might have to indulge in pathological levels of self-sufficiency as you cultivate a greater capacity to ask for and receive help.
October 23, 2016, 2:00 PM
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