Week of September 22

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Your adversaries may have a tough time of it in the coming days. I bet their schemes will backfire, their bad hair days will be frequent, their ignorance will be glaringly visible, and the trouble they've caused will be punished. How should you react? You're allowed exactly one hour of gloating. Anything more will put you at risk of becoming more like them, which would be costly. In fact, I urge you to take this opportunity to disengage from them completely. Summon as much love and forgiveness as you can, beam it their way, and then do all you can to free yourself forever of their hold on your emotions and their influence on your actions.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The Johor Baru prison in Malaysia has begun offering thrill-seekers the opportunity to stay overnight. For a mere $17, a curious traveler can experience the adventure of getting locked in a dank cell, eating bad food, and having no pillow while sleeping on a wormy mattress. I sincerely hope that none of you will travel to this new tourist attraction in the coming week. For that matter, I trust you won't check into a metaphorical version of the place, either. There is absolutely no reason for you to visit other people's hells or mistake meaningless ordeals for adventures.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In the song "We Are Nowhere and It's Now," Bright Eyes' lead singer Conor Oberst croons, "I'm always lost in thought as I walk a block to my favorite neon sign." I love the fact that he has a favorite neon sign. Many people have a beloved tree or mountain or beach, but they would never deign to have a special fondness for a functional human-made object like a neon sign. Let his eccentric tenderness be an inspiration to you, Gemini. Look for beauty in people, places, and things you normally consider bereft of it.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In his book 1491: New Revelations of the Americas before Columbus, Charles C. Mann says that much of what we thought we knew is wrong. For example, civilization in the New World was in some ways more advanced than in Europe. Cities like the Aztec capital of Tenochtitlan had large populations that enjoyed clean streets, botanical gardens, and running water. Farmers in the Amazon exploited the resources of the rain forest without damaging it. Indigenous American philosophers developed sophisticated forms of democracy, while scientists developed ingenious techniques for breeding corn. I hope you'll do a similar revisioning of your own past in the coming weeks, Cancerian. It's a perfect time to come to a fresh, updated understanding of your personal history.


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