Maxed out 

Milking sacred cow No. 300

Well, as milestones go, this one isn’t nearly as worthy of celebration as, say, toilet training or getting your driver’s license or reaching the age at which you can saunter into a bar – assuming you’ve mastered sauntering at such a young age – and order a beer with no fear of being tossed out on your ear, but in the spirit of these troubled times, it’s the nearest thing on my immediate horizon to celebrate.

This is the 300th time I’ve sat down at a computer, stared at a blank screen and muttered to myself those sage words of motivation: "Sure wish I knew what was about to happen." I mutter those words even if I have a really good idea what I’m going to write about because it’s been my experience that my fingers have minds of their own and once they get started, no idea, half-baked or better, is safe.

If all the words I’ve written on the back page of the Pique were laid end to end they still wouldn’t make any more sense than they ever have, though I imagine they’d put a pretty good dent in the market for over the counter sleeping remedies. This week isn’t likely to deviate too far from that proud spirit.

I was thinking of interviewing myself but after I got past the easy questions I couldn’t think of anything else I wanted to know about myself.

Besides, it’s getting harder and harder to write about the fluff of life in Whistler when, for example, our Justice Minister is busy dismantling the fundamental rights we enjoy as Canadians and lying to us when someone has the effrontery to ask her why she’s doing so. It’s even harder, realizing that by and large the populace is rushing headlong to support her efforts as long as she holds out the hint of a promise of making us all feel safe from the boogie men again.

What’s a columnist to do?

Let’s see. The Column Writing for Dummies book says, "When in doubt as to what to write about, the astute columnist latches onto the most contentious local issue of the moment and milks that sucker for all it’s worth."

Okay, here goes. What’s the Big Kahughna and council got against putting the simple question regarding the 2010 Olympic bid to da people?

Twenty-four citizens, proud and true, signed a letter asking Whistler council to pose a straightforward fer-or-agin’ kind of question and let democracy run rampant across our happy mountain home.

Fat chance, said Hizzonor who believes a more relevant question to ask might be "What’s in it for me?" which is to say, what is the bid going to deliver to the community.


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