Maxed Out 

Bloc right for all the wrong reasons


Well, here we are. Peace on Earth, goodwill toward men time again. Unless, of course, you’re Jewish, Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, white, black, communist, capitalist, socialist, northern hemisphere, southern hemisphere, democratic, totalitarian, living, dead, fictional or real. In which case, it’s open season on you, mothertrucker.

The cosmic forces of hope and fear are aligning in such tight formation it’s almost impossible to know which is which. Truth and fiction have never been harder to tell apart.

Consider this. For the first time ever, I am in total agreement with the leader of the federal secessionist party. If ever there was more proof needed that something so fundamental as the Earth’s magnetic poles are indeed changing right under our feet, this is as close as it comes.

The Cheesehead says he’s going to bring down GI Dough Boy’s minority government if the faux Conservatives don’t change the role of Canada’s troops in Arfghanistan. No more rock ’em, sock ’em, kill ’em in the name of peace soldiers will the Blocheads endure. If we can’t go back to the future and be the kinder, gentler chocolate and nylon distributing peacekeepers we’ve lulled ourselves into thinking we are, Gilles Duceppe is ready to cozy up to Diamond Jack’s NDP and — let’s see, who did the Libs finally elect after a year of dithering… oh yeah — Stéphane Dion’s natural ruling party who, let us not forget, embarked on this mission in the first place, and put an end to the Dough Boy’s dreams of grandeur before he even has a chance to act like a real conservative.

And it’s about time.

Naturally, as one might suspect when one finds oneself in agreement with the devil, the lamentable Mr. Duceppe is right for all the wrong reasons. He is, after all, a one-trick pony. His is no doctrinaire belief in strength through peace. He doesn’t find aggression and war abhorrent or have any internal philosophy suggesting the only hope for humans evolving toward enlightenment instead of eroding back into barbarism lies in finding peaceable ways to coexist. His newfound antiwar stance is being driven by the fact that Quebec soldiers are scheduled to be shipped out to Arfghanistan next August. He’s more afraid of losing votes one bullet at a time than he is interested in profoundly changing Canada’s slide into militarism.

He’s also fearful the inroads already made by the Conservatives in Quebec — 10 seats in last January’s election — will grow into something approaching popular support because of D’oh Boy’s fuzzy, and quite possibly meaningless, nation-within-a-nation nostrum which has taken on a heightened cachet on the cocktail circuit in La Belle Province.


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