Maxed Out 

IOC says don't jump, we stay silent


Now, now, let's not get too uppity here. We need to be understanding. We need to be unified. We need to be supportive. We need to be patient. We need to pretend everything's hunky-dory. We need to be quiet.

Or else.

That seems to be the position taken by every struck-mute politician in Canada, most certainly by VANOC, by CODA, by Dick Pound, Canada's representative on the IOC and by all people dazzled and dumbfounded by the Olympic juggernaut.

For what it's worth, I'm hitching my wagon to "or else." So, I'm happy to say, is Ross Clark and the handful of brave women ski jumpers who, some will argue, are flushing their personal sporting "careers" down the toilet by deciding to appeal their case to Canada's Supreme Court.

It would all be so easily remedied and made to go away if the IOC weren't, collectively - and quite possibly individually - such dickheads. Overwhelmingly male dickheads, of course. And as Robin Williams reminded us, men aren't endowed with enough blood to operate both their brains and their penises at the same time. It's pretty clear which most of the players in this drama are using to think with.

And really, that's the shame here. No one has or will come forth with a rational, 21 st century explanation for excluding women ski jumpers from the 2010 Olympics. Jacques Rogge, head rogue at the IOC, "explained" the secret vote to continue banning women from the top level of the sport by saying, "We don't want the medals to be diluted and watered down, that is the bottom line."

Uh, Earth to Jacques: that ship's already sailed. The medals were watered down when you decided professional athletes could compete; they were watered down by the inclusion of any number of marginal sports I'm not going to name because my e-mail inbox is already bulging with death threats... but everybody has their own favourites that fit into the category.

Most importantly though, Jacques, your weak rationalization simply doesn't hold water. You seem to place a lot of weight on the fact there are only 80 "recognized" women ski jumpers in the world. Presumably that would be 80 carded, FIS recognized women ski jumpers. That would be the same FIS - the world's staid, governing body for all ski sports and no radical organization - who voted 114 to 1 to have you include women's ski jumping in the Olympics.

No one knows why the women are being excluded but it's a pretty good bet it's because some of the dickthinkers believe their uteruses will fall out if they're allowed to jump. And hey, I mean, what exactly is it that women are good for anyway? Crikey.


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