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If you're anything like me - and you should be happy you're not - you've probably had a hard time keeping track of the news.
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If you're anything like me - and you should be happy you're not - you've probably had a hard time keeping track of the news. Post Olympic Reality Displacement Disorder is a well-documented affliction that tends to leave its suffererss with an overwhelming sense of malaise and disconnectedness from the "real" world. Symptoms include marked mood swings, a pronounced tendency to look inward, a loss of interest in world events and an overblown sense of accomplishment and importance leading to an irresistible urge to celebrate seemingly insignificant things.

And while many of us with extended health plans were disappointed when the American Psychiatric Association recently announced PORDD was eliminated from consideration in the upcoming, fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), we can at least take some solace in the APA's reasoning. Pointing specifically to Whistler's recent Olympic experience, Dr. Sloof Lirpa, M.D., Ph.D., D.S.W., LMNOP, head of the Clinical Psychiatric Research Centre at North Dakota University, writes in an upcoming monograph to be published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology , "Viewing the behaviour and connectedness of Whistler's population pre and post Olympics, researchers were unable to discern any measurable difference in overall cognition of world events."

Psychiatry once again falls prey to its own inadequate measurement tools.

Here's some other news you may have missed but I didn't, thanks to Google alerts.

(Lausanne, Switzerland) Responding to a February 28 th New York Times op-ed piece by Charles Banks-Altekruse, a consultant and former Olympic rower, the governing board of the International Olympic Committee has announced they are considering changes to upcoming Olympics.

Citing "... financial problems plaguing the Games - corruption, recurring cost overruns, decaying former venues and excessively costly bid campaigns..." Mr. Banks-Altekruse called for an end to the politically disruptive and financially ruinous practice of awarding the Games to new venues every four years and said it was time to "... create a permanent home for them."

Jacques Rogge apparently agrees. "We had such a wonderful time in Vancouver this spring, er, winter, that I would consider it perfect for consideration as a permanent Winter Olympics host city." He went on to say there would be two requirements in order for this to happen. The freestyle and snowboard events held in February at Cypress Bowl would have to be moved to Whistler in order to ensure snow and John Furlong would have to agree to speak at future opening and closing ceremonies. "I felt so much more comfortable sharing the stage with another dynamic speaker," said Mr. Rogge.

Asked for comment, Whistler's Administrator and CAO, Bill Barratt said, "I like the sound of that. That is, of course, as long as we can dispense with incidental distractions, like council meetings, and focus on delivering a truly great Games experience."

(Ottawa) Stung by criticism of being undemocratic and dictatorial in proroguing Parliament for the second time in a one-year period and muzzling his own caucus to the point where several of them have been reported missing to police, notwithstanding they were clearly sitting through question period - perhaps unrecognizable with gags in their mouths - Prime Minister Stephen Harper announced two new, high-priority focuses for his government. Women and the Arctic.

Commenting on how the two have always been linked in his own mind, "I've known many frigid women in my life," Harper joked, he nonetheless sought to boost his minority government's standing in public opinion polls by saying he would urge the G8 to "Make maternal and child health in poor countries a priority."

In announcing specific steps to accomplish his goal, the Prime Minister said he would ensure every mother in every poor country around the world receive "a very nice Mother's Day card" and a box of Laura Secord chocolates. "Particularly those incredible chocolate creams," he said, wiping an almost imperceptible drop of drool from the corner of his unsmiling mouth.

Asked by a CBC reporter why his proposals specifically excluded any federal funds to support family planning, contraception and abortion, Mr. Harper just smiled and asked the reporter, in turn, if he fully understood from where the CBC's funding came.

In staking the Canadian government's claim to vast Arctic resources, the Prime Minister held a conference of nations with Arctic interests... at least most of them. Leaving an unnamed Harper mouthpiece alone on the stage to announce what a swell meeting it had been, representatives from the other countries in attendance ducked out the back door. U.S. Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, summed up the unease of other attendees when she admonished the Prime Minister for leaving out Sweden, Finland, Iceland and native groups, each of whom have a legitimate stake in talks about carving up the Arctic.

"But I thought we (the really important countries) should get together first before we start letting just anyone attend," said Mr. Harper.

(Ottawa) As a result of Prime Minister Harper's recent foreign policy gaffes in handling his new, most important issues - maternal health and the Arctic - Michael Ignatieff and his Liberals are mocking Mr. Harper, characterizing his efforts as "amateur hour on the world stage."

Coming on the heels of his own display of leadership in being unable to get his own party members to support an incomprehensible Liberal motion condemning the Harper government's maternal health initiative, Mr. Ignatieff said, "I feel eminently qualified to comment on this issue. I know amateur hour when I see it."

(Vatican City) There's an app for that! Can't get enough of that old time religion? Coming to an iPhone near you, an app will deliver "Daily Sermonettes with Father Michael Manning." Available for purchase on iTunes, the app will be dubbed into six different languages and represents a new front in the Vatican's media strategy.

Following on the success of Pope2You, a website that links the Pope's Facebook page with electronic Easter cards containing messages from scripture, and the recently launched H20news, which will provide streaming church information in eight languages, the new app is "just the first" in what promises to be a series. Sources at the Vatican would, however, neither confirm nor deny Altarboy of the Day was under consideration as a follow-up app.

(Jerusalem) City workers, excavating tunnels to route new underground utilities, have discovered a tomb containing the 2,000-year-old remains of a 30-year-old male. The simple tomb, hidden behind a vaguely skull-shaped rock, contained the mummified remains wrapped in a traditional linen shroud.

Jerusalem Mayor Nir Barkat announced the discovery earlier today. Fielding questions from the world media, he said, "We'll know more about what it is we've found in due course." A follow-up news conference has been planned for some time after Easter.