Not much to cheer for this
time of year. You can actually watch summer begin to die right in front of your
eyes… and then the school bus rolls up. Good times. Last year the fat cats in
Hollywood threw us a frickin’ bone at least when they released the Rob Zombie
Halloween
remake. This time around we get
Hamlet 2.
The title is the funniest
part but
Hamlet 2
was actually a
big hit at Sundance last winter. Don’t believe the hype though, because while
it elicits an occasional chuckle spoofing inspirational teacher movies, the
film is really just 90-minutes of obnoxiously manic Brit actor Steve Coogan (he
played the director in
Tropic Thunder)
overdoing it at every chance. And the humour is tired and a little too
smug.
Coogan plays a failed
actor-turned-drama teacher (kids remember — ‘If you can’t do, teach’) who
is on the verge of loosing his job unless he and a bunch of Latino transfer
students-gangbangers can whip up the best, most controversial play ever. Blah
blah, blah, cue the not-as-funny-as-the-filmmakers-think musical bit at the end
and blah blah blah, roll credits. Plays blow, so thank god for Elizabeth Shue,
who, playing herself (kind of) is the best part of
Hamlet 2.
First off, Elizabeth Shue
was, is, and probably always will be really, really hot. And she’s good at
soccer too, for all you people who like your women with a little gonch-sweat.
But most importantly, she can act. Oscar-nominated for her stellar performance
as a hooker with a heart of gold in 1995s
Leaving Las Vegas
(co-staring Nic Cage and one of the best films of the
‘90s) Elizabeth kind of dropped off the scene after that and went back to
school (Harvard) where she procured a degree in Government. Apparently she’s
produces films now but the real reason to love Elizabeth Shue is her fantastic
work in the 80’s.
After nailing it as the
girlfriend in
Karate Kid,
young
Elizabeth starred in the second best movie ever about babysitting,
Adventures
in Babysitting
, and easily stepped
into both
Back to the Future Sequels.
It seemed like she was everywhere and it was fantastic. A lot of people think
Elizabeth Shue was in 1986’s
Howard the Duck
, the weirdest comic book movie to date, but that was
actually Elizabeth Shue wanna-be Lea Thompson, who made more popular movies than
Shue but still suffers from the unenviable dichotomy of being nowhere near as
cool, or as hot. Even without Elizabeth Shue,
Howard the Duck
is worth checking out and was released on DVD in
Europe last year — good luck I say.
The best ever babysitting movie
by the way is
Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead
starring Christina Applegate and Keith Coogan (who,
coincidentally, also starred in
Adventures in Babysitting.)
Sticking with actresses
though, how about the performance of Emma Stone in
The House Bunny
? Brilliant. Emma, who shot onto the radar as the
oh-so-authentic love interest in last year’s classic
Superbad
proves it was no fluke by bringing the same sense of
inspired realness to an over-the-top geek role. She’s also the best part of
The
Rocker
(along with Christina
Applegate. Wow, the movie column is really inbred this week)
.
So it’s official. Like Anna
Faris, I’ll go to any movie with Emma Stone in it just because she’s in it. And
what do you mean you haven’t seen
The House Bunny
yet? Sure, it’s chock full of T’n’A for a flick aimed
at 11-year-old girls but it also stars Hugh freakin’ Hefner and Farris drops
pure wisdom when she informs us that, “the eyes are the nipples of the face.”
Ha! Kids everywhere might start licking each other’s eyes this back-to-school
season – Don’t do it! Eye herpes is a real disease.