Old, young, and the eternally damned 

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Whistler is notorious for being a town full of young people here for the time of their lives and a whole lotta fresh pow. As such, I struggle to see the local appeal of a film about a cluster of senior citizens on a "we still got it" bachelor party in Las Vegas — especially one that looks this bad. In any case, Last Vegas opens Friday at the Village 8.

If you are into that kind of thing (think Wild Hogs with slot machines) at least the acting talent involved is decent — Michael Douglas, Morgan Freeman, Robert DeNiro and Kevin Kline star. The director is Jon Turteltaub, best known for the National Treasure films and Cool Runnings (which was pretty good but also 20 years ago). There are some tired themes of appreciating every day in this geriatric Entourage, but it looks about as much fun as getting a catheter installed by a hung-over nurse.

On the other end of the age spectrum, Free Birds also opens Friday. It has to be better than it looks because it looks effing stupid. Owen Wilson and Woody Harrelson star as a pair of turkeys who break into the U.S. government to hijack a time travel machine in order to go back to the very first Thanksgiving and get turkey off the menu. That is the best human civilization can churn out this week — time traveling turkeys.

Thing is, I bet it's not even that bad. Jimmy Hayward directs and he made Horton Hears a Who, which was kind of awesome because it was actually about Nazis. (Hayward also made Jonah Hex, which even Megan Fox couldn't save.) Amy Poehler and George Takei also star and Takei is usually pretty awesome. In any case the Village 8 has it in 2D or 3D so grab the kids and go nuts.

Of course, it's also Halloween and there's really nothing better than staying home on the couch and hammering back candy in front of a bunch of terrifying flicks. You can't go wrong with classics like Jaws, The Exorcist, The Shining, It, The Thing, or Halloween but maybe it's time to try something less known.

The House of the Devil is a haunting flick about a hard-up-for-cash college girl who takes the worst babysitting job ever — the people don't even have a kid! But $400 bucks is a lot of money and who cares if it's the creepiest house ever on a lunar eclipse. What could wrong? Made in 2009, House of the Devil is classic 80s-style horror and it will rock your Halloween night.

Art imitates life and the horror genre is always a great litmus test for the overall "vibe" of an era. It's interesting because home invasion movies are huge right now. It's no secret the world around us is going to shit and many feel you can't trust the government (Harper is a joke), the law (agent provocateur cops infiltrating peaceful protests), or pretty much anyone in any position of power (your iPhone 5 is selling you out!).

With a lack of trust in anything the answer then becomes — lock your doors, grab an axe and keep the world out. This sort of paranoia is apparent in recent flicks like This is the End to You're Next to The Strangers to The Purge but 1977's Demon Seed nails it as well as any contemporary flick. Not only because the killer is already in the house but also because it's a robot with Artificial Intelligence. Demon Seed also stars Julie Christie, it's the download of the week. Happy Halloween.

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