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The Local Infection

Resident experts present a clinical diagnosis of a Whistler malady

By Michele Bush and Gillie Easdon

Lo*cal

Adj .

1

a . Of, or relating to, or characteristic of a particular place: a local custom; the local slang.

b

. Of or relating to a city, town, or district rather than a large area: state and local government.

2

. Not broad or general; not widespread: local outbreaks of flu.

3

. Of or affecting a specific part of the body: a local infection.

4

. Making all possible or scheduled stops on a route; not express: a local train.

n.

1

. A public conveyance that makes several intermediate stops before the final destination is reached: changed trains to a local.

2

. A local chapter or branch of an organization especially of a labor union. local anaesthetic.

3

. Informal . A person from a particular locality. Local

adj.

Affecting or confined to a limited part; not general or systemic.

In response to the glut of use and misuse of the word "local", social observationalists and thorough research specialists Doctors Michele Bush and Gillian Easdon have developed the following comprehensive, strategic and sustainable questionnaire. The conscious and unconscious bastardization and perversion of the concept and reality of The Whistler Local calls for immediate action. Your input is vital to the success of the study. Please take a moment to fill out this questionnaire and fax your responses to 604-MIL-OCAL. Thanking you in advance for your candour, time and participation.

The doctors’ credentials

Dr. M. Bush

24-year resident, anomaly of typical Whistler resident. Rarely participates in traditional Whistler sporting activities. Has no idea why she moved here, but is still here. On the rare occasion she does partake in typical Whistler sport she is usually asked, "Dr. Bush – are you lost?" Alternately an exorcist is summoned. Dr. Bush prefers comedic artistic endeavours and copious wine consumption. Past store owner, bartender, multiple job-holder, homeowner, cougar.

Dr. Gillian Easdon

Four-year resident, also predominantly arts interests. Bad influence, bad dresser, really bad bike helmet. Spearheaded this "local article" thing. The word "local" bugs her. Possibly suffering from moderate distemper, disease and loss of sense of self as a result of being on the cusp of junior and intermediate local (further clarification of these terms to follow). Store patron, multiple job-holder and rent payer.

"What’s Your Local" Questionnaire

Please Circle the Answer that Best Fits your Profile

1. How long have you lived here?

a) Less than seven months, am still in diapers.

b) Less than 10 years.

c) Less time than the marmots, but not by much.

2. How many days a year do you get on the hill?

a) Rarely, am a confirmed valley dweller.

b) Enough to pay off my pass.

c) Feel my rock hard thighs and YOU guess.

d) There’s a hill?

3. Are you a homeowner?

a) Yes (gloat).

b) No (pout).

c) — There is no "c".

4. Are you on the Housing Authority list?

a) Yes.

b) What’s the Housing Authority List?

c) No, I keep meaning to do that, (but still complain that there’s nothing affordable to buy).

5. Do you have a dog?

a) Yes and I pick up after it.

b) Yes, it was cool for one season.

c) No, but I walk dogs at WAG.

d) I have a tarantula. And not a lot of friends.

6. Do you fully appreciate and covet duct tape?

a) Yes.

b) No, I just buy new gear.

c) I don’t get it.

7. Do you volunteer?

a) What?

b) No, but I bought daffodils.

c) No, and I manage to deek raffle-selling-grocery-store-lurking children.

d) I am my own non-profit cause.

e) Yes, I like to pitch in to the community.

8. How often does the word "local" come out of your mouth?

a) Never, unless it refers to produce.

b) Only when approached by timeshare salespeople.

c) During roadblocks.

d) As often as I can when I know it will impress somebody.

9. When do you know you are a local?

a) You can make it through one off season without calling mom for money.

b) You fear being recognized when buying "Preparation H’ at the pharmacy.

c) You have uttered the words, "Let’s just go for one."

d) You adopt "Whistler time" and are late for everything.

10. Can you give clear concise directions in Whistler?

a) No.

b) Have you tried?

c) Is this a trick question?

11. Additional comments

Please feel free to open up and share your thoughts on "the Local Infection" with the doctors. We are here to help.

Thank You.

This self-same questionnaire was disseminated to a random cross-section of 400 Whistler residents (including seasonal residents) who identified themselves as locals. The purpose was to establish whether there was any continuity in the use of the term, "local". We felt that somehow, the word had lost any relevance beyond marketing because it seems to be bandied about more than the f-word in Eddie Murphy’s Delirious . When a word is used excessively it loses its effectiveness, i.e.; "The locals’ favourite", "Where the locals shop", "Plate tectonics made the mountains. Locals make the town", "locals’ specials" "locals’ night", "locals’ night" and "locals’night".

Combing through the three Whistler papers, the word "local" appeared 12 times in Pique. It appeared 3 times in Whistler this Week and 5 times in the Whistler Question. So much for using that as compelling evidence.

The data we collected indicated that most people who live here, not surprisingly, self-identify as locals to some degree or another. Most people prefer boxers over briefs, and only three claimed to be able to give clear and concise directions. (They were drunk at the time.) Upon closer analysis, there had been some confusion. These three could confidently point out Whistler on a map of British Columbia, and could visualize most of Whistler with incredible accuracy in their heads, but could not articulate directions to any degree of competency. No one can.

So, what does it mean to be local?

Let’s look at Dr. Bush’s case history. She moved here in 1982. Not to ski, but oddly enough to windsurf. It was fun, and the girl to guy ratio was a stellar 10-1. Dr. Bush never embraced the "live to ski" obsession. She nods knowingly when someone raves about the killer run they had on Spanky’s, but has never actually skied it. Dr. Bush can point to it, though. She is the kind of local that knows little, skiing-wise, about the very mountains the town’s existence is based on. Weekenders, hell, anyone who’s skied here on a two week holiday would know more about the mountains than Dr. Bush. Is knowledge and saturation in "mountain culture" intrinsic to being a bona fide local? Apparently not.

You have to make a concerted effort to move here. First, there’s finding a place to live in an incredibly tight market, and then hunkering down with your 27 new roommates, eating Kraft dinner and waiting for the season to begin (or not, which was the case this year). Then there’s the low wages combined with high prices.

"Whistler is a hard place to live if you just want to be here for one season… Everything’s a struggle. You have to REALLY want to be here. After this season though, I’ve decided I don’t."

— One British interviewee

This study and discourse on The Whistler Local is an attempt to reclaim a word originally fraught with both pride and kinship. Saying you’re a local implies a form of superiority. It bestows a title, not to be confused with entitlement (this will be covered later). This is common in "cool" resort towns and famous cities. For example, there is more status in saying "I’m a native New Yorker," than "I’m a native Fort Saint Johnner." There is more melody in "I am from B.C." than "I am from Ontario." Pride in being a local Whistlerite is evident in the first conversation you have with one. Upon meeting a new person in Whistler, the conversation starts with, "So how long have you been coming/lived here?"

Let the pissing contest begin.

"I remember saying to my first roommates in 1982, ‘the fact that we have left the city, and that we have decided to live here means that we are different, special somehow. Mind you, that was back in the day when we were truly roughing it. There was no bus service, it took 45 minutes and three lifts to get to the Rendezvous – then you had to hike to the glacier. When the weather sucked our only form of entertainment was video games like Frogger and Pac Man. We were pioneers, man."

— R.C. Pye

Now, as we sat in the lab and reviewed the data we have spent months accumulating, we noticed a few things. First of all, anyone and everyone who lives here is some sort of local. But there are levels of localness

"All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others."

— George Orwell.

The "local" self-identification is a pissing contest. Simply put, the longer you’ve been here the more superior you are. If you have been here one season, you may be a local but you were not here during the floods. (A-ha - but which floods?) If you have been here for four years, you may be a local but you did not know Seppo and may not have met Rabbit. If you have been here for 15 years, you weren’t around when the Keg burnt down. If you have been here 20 years, you weren’t here when there was no snow in 1976.

(Dr. Bush would like to take this opportunity to establish her superiority to Dr. Easdon, who has only been in Whistler for a mere four years in comparison to Dr. Bush’s impressive 24. Dr Easdon interjects: "Uh…I’ve been here four and half years." Dr. Bush scoffs. "Infant.")

We would like to put forth the following proposal to distinguish the basic branches of The Whistler Local, not to be confused with levels, which might suggest any ranking system. The scientific process we employed endeavours to circumvent ego.

1. Newbie — Has just arrived for the ski season and thinks that getting a job on the mountain means they will ski a lot. (yuk)

2. Bantam Local — 1 full year, has abandoned initial plans to come for one season and go back to school. But still utters the sentence: "I’ll go back eventually though, because Whistler just isn’t, like, reality man…."

3. Junior Local — 2-4 years. This group has accepted the fact that reality is what you make it, and that you can actually live here for long periods of time. Also realizes that you need five different vocations to survive the off season. Also accepts the fact that there will always be an off season and doesn’t say the words, "Wow, it is soooo slow," as if they didn’t see it coming.

4. Intermediate local — 5-10 years. On first name basis with liquor store staff. Is down to three roommates.

5. Advanced local — 10-20 years. Has been here long enough to have bought property in the free market. Still waits tables but is a millionaire on paper. Proficient in sarcasm. This person has watched the stupid pants where the crotch hangs down to the knees make an inexplicable, horrifying comeback. And then realize in dismay that questioning younger generation fashion choices is just what their parents did.

6. Expert local — 20-30 years Has observed Whistler explode tenfold in size and population, but is truly puzzled why there are still only two gas stations located inconveniently on one side of town. Their friends’ kids are suddenly teenagers and taller than them. Everyone in the bars looks like they’re 12. Stops going or starts going to the clubs for that very reason.

7. True Classic Local — 30-plus years. Pioneers. Came to Whistler before the town centre or even skiing with lifts existed. Had to hike to ski and make do with only three bars. Remembers when the bank was stolen. Have stuff named after them or named stuff. i.e.: Burnt Stew Basin.

Disclaimer: The above are intended as general guidelines only. All and any feedback welcome. Just fax your opinions to 604-MIL-OCAL.

Another less fortunate commonality of a sizeable proportion of locals is the pervasive and altogether unattractive sense of entitlement many seem to feel regarding what they are "owed". Some feel that because they’ve lived here for a long time, they deserve special privileges. Some feel that they shouldn’t have to pay for parking. Never mind that the entire town fits into a kilometre and there is reams of free parking. You may have to add a 5 minute walk to your 3 minute commute into town. We can hear the violins.

Whistler Bylaw officers have a great time when they ticket locals who feel that their "localness" grants them some sort of "ticket immunity". They’ll stand there, shaking their ticket screaming, "I’ve lived here for (insert impressive number here) years, and I shouldn’t have to pay this…. I was here before you were even born, blah, blah…..") The bylaw officers’ snappy comeback being, "Oh, that’s too bad, ticket immunity ceased the year before you got here."

This brings us to the locals' discount expectation. Dr. Bush once owned a retail store in the village. She observed with interest that some customers would ask if there was a locals’ discount. "How do I know you’re a local?" Dr. Bush would inquire. "You don’t look familiar. I’ve never partied with you." Often the response would be, "Well, I just moved here."

Why do so many feel entitled to discounts, sometimes asking in front of a visitor? We snub big companies but expect small, locally-owned businesses to give freebies or discount? No wonder so many smaller companies go under. Visitors keep this town afloat, but local support needs to also include support in ways beyond the emotional. Dr. Bush wondered if the same locals pose that question at the liquor store, the pharmacy, post office or gas station? (Probably not, but certainly worth investigating, we will keep you posted). In careful discussion, many other small business owners find "Is there a locals' discount?" equally annoying.

"Not only are you expected to donate prizes to umpteen fundraisers during the course of the year, you’re expected to do locals’ discounts. I sure as hell didn’t get a discount on my rent because I’m a local retailer."

— Anonymous Local Retailer

Do you ask for a locals’ discount in restaurants? Do you expect things to be promo’d because you know the owner of the restaurant? The glut of expectation and sense of entitlement cheapens the value of a comped drink, meal, or line-jump. It sullies the beauty of the possibility of a gift given freely.

"You actually live here? What do you do?"

Certain visitors are fascinated with the notion that people really live here. For some reason they fail to notice the many houses and neighbourhoods along the highway when they drive to the village. All locals find this amusing. (It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been here – you can laugh at this phenomena). Enduring the many silly questions tourists are prone to ask does bond all breed and genus of locals. Unfortunately this breeds bad attitudes towards the very people who give us our livelihood. The mature local will realize this and accept it as part of living in a resort town. Let’s reiterate; a resort town, a destination that people are supposed to come to and stay at and enjoy and ski and spend money. The bantam, immature local is most likely to be the one to openly mock a tourist in an obvious attempt to stroke their own ego. Dr. Easdon does not concur with this assessment, but will defer this time to Dr. Bush. Mind you, Dr. Bush has a mature local friend who still can’t accept the fact that people consider the road beside the Mountainside Lodge to be a large sidewalk and walk five abreast impeding traffic. (The aforementioned mature, more like "mature", local still turns bright red in uncontrollable anger and screams obscenities – "Don’t use the @#!!!$$ sidewalk 5 feet away, oh no, don’t move! Well that’s just ##@$$! great!" with the car windows rolled up mind you, some 24 years later.)

The thing that connects all locals regardless of age or Whistler history seems to be the sincerity with which everyone appreciates their surroundings. People who live here want to live here, regardless of housing, work, citizenship and negative bank accounts.

"I recall giving my dad a book for Christmas in 1984, Sea to Sky Country by John Bartosik. A beautiful collection of photographs of Whistler, a place my father had always wanted to be. He never quite got here. When he died 10 years later I found the book, opened it and read my inscription – ‘This is why I choose to be a waitress in Whistler and not a concert pianist.’"

— Dr. Bush reflection

In conclusion, the extensive studies carried out by Dr. Easdon and Dr. Bush have revealed that the definitions of The Whistler Local are as manifold as the locals themselves. This warrants further investigation. In a sincere attempt to reclaim this word that indicates a modicum of reverence and ease, we have sought and studied long and hard to pinpoint the careless use to encourage affirmative action. At the end of the day, if you love Whistler and you love living here, you are a local. Remember that.

Now, let’s just go for one.



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