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We have been amused by the Wonder Reels, a serialized Ode to the wonder of it all, Your Wonders, reminiscences of visitors' wonderful time in Wonderland, available sometimes on the MotherCorp's website. And, perhaps best of all, The Wonder Routes.
Perhaps borrowing a page from Kevin Hodder and Brian Finestone's fine guidebooks to skiing Whistler and Blackcomb, the MotherCorp has strung together a self-guided sequence of peaks and runs to inspire awe, strike wonder and leave otherwise lost visitors found, as in dumbfounded.
There are six Wonder Routes, some in the alpine, some mid-mountain. Every single one of them is worth the time it takes to figure out where they are and where they go on a trail map often described as an exercise in sensory overload. But uncharacteristically — uncharacteristically for a marketing strategy — they don't go far enough. I mean, this is a really good idea and I feel it's incumbent on us, okay, incumbent on me, to exploit it to its fullest potential. So I will.
Route 7: Wonder What the F@&k I'm Doing Here Route.
Route 7 has been called a side trip of Route 1, the Top of the World Route. You can experience Route 7 at the top of Whistler Bowl, the entrances to the Horseshoes at Harmony, the Coulior and top of Spanky's on Blackcomb, and any number of other locations on both mountains where you will find skiers and boarders in woefully over their heads. The route is marked by people clogging those entrances wondering, well, what the f@&k they're doing there. Do not try to hurry them along and do not be put off by the unusual sounds emmanating from them, part knocking knees, part whimpering. Just go around.
Route 8: Wonder Where I Am Route.
Route 8 takes into consideration virtually every one of the 8,100+ acres on both mountains and is most frequently experienced during periods of weather marked by what we like to call variable visibility and what pilots like to call whiteout. Basic laws of physics are suspended on Route 8, up is difficult to tell from down but here's a hint: down is where you land when you inevitably lose perspective and fall. Gravity still works, it just seems weird.
Route 9: Wonder Where This Goes Route.
Route 9 has nothing to do with visibility and everything to do with boundary ropes. Oh, those tracks in that fresh snow look soooo inviting. Hey, those guys must have known where they were going. What could go wrong? I won't tell you where Route 9 goes because if you're dumb enough to take it, you don't really care. I will suggest you be kind to whoever rescues you and make a generous contribution to their efforts. You won't be the last to travel Route 9.
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