Parents and community workers brainstorm about how to keep their kids safe at special high-school meeting
By Clare Ogilvie.
Alcohol and drugs are as much a problem for Whistler teens as they are for youths anywhere else in the province.
That was the message Whistler Secondary Principal Ken Davies, community youth workers, RCMP, and a local counselor gave to the parents of Grade 6, 7, and 8 students at a special meeting held earlier this week.
Community policing RCMP Const. Michelle Friesen brought the lesson home when she told parents about two 15-year-olds who in the last several months were found dangerously intoxicated.
In separate instances the teens were found in waterlogged ditches.
Friesen pointed out that both could have drowned if she hadn’t found them before they passed out.
Friesen has also come across teens trying to gain access to clubs and hanging out with much older people from Vancouver.
"Whistler definitely has alcohol and drugs available just like any other community," she said.
With that wake-up call about 40 parents broke-up into workshop groups and began to brainstorm on how to keep their kids safe.
As the groups reported back it became clear that communication between kids and parents, parents and parents, community workers and the school was of paramount importance.
That was no surprise to Principal Davies who decided to hold the meeting to get communication lanes open.
"What I think was primary was an opportunity for parents to network," he said.
"Parents being able to communicate with other parents that they don’t normally do in their social circle about teenagers.
"And being able to develop practical strategies was, I think, absolutely invaluable and was supplied by parents."
There’s no doubt said Davies that many in the resort are not aware of the influence drugs and alcohol has.
"I think some genuinely don’t know," said Davies, who plans to hold this type of meeting regularly.
"I think there are some who would rather not know and it places some in a very uncomfortable position.
"But what I think they need to know is that Whistler, or any other place, is not immune and we can’t bury our heads in the sand and whatever we are doing we have to make good decisions that are going to allow our children to be safe.
"Possibly what needs to happen is that there needs to be alternative choices that kids will buy into that are meaningful for kids that are healthy alternatives, rather than simply just hanging out in the village."
Hanging out in the village definitely creates its own set of problems said Sea to Sky Community Services counselor and mother of two teen boys, Nancy Routley.
What kids see are a large number of bars and clubs and adults enjoying them. That is quite different from the downtowns of other smaller non-resort communities.
Whistler is somewhere everyone else comes to to have fun, and that fun-seeking adult is not really the role model most parents would choose for their teen.
The resort also brings into town a lot of strangers.
"Sometimes they are looking for trouble," said Routley who added that factors like this mean Whistler parents need to adjust their parenting style.
That may include setting up a curfew.
Youth community worker Greg McDonnell told the parents it wasn’t that unusual for him to see Grade 7 youths in the village at midnight.
"The village is attractive to young people," said McDonnell, who works for Whistler Community Services Society and helps run the youth centre at Millennium Place.
"There is a high incidence of alcohol and drug use as low as Grade 7," he said.
"It’s totally worrying. I see it in the village and I see it in the skate park.
"They want to hurry up their growing up and go party too."
Some key signs that drugs or alcohol may be becoming a problem are:
• sudden changes in friends and relationships with others;
• problems at school;
• sudden mood swings – apart from the normal teen angst;
• unusual forgetfulness or absentmindedness;
• withdrawing from normal social functions and clubs;
• destructive actions such as yelling, arguing or verbal and physical abuse;
• breaking the law;
• money problem;
• getting angry when asked about drug and alcohol use.
McDonnell said he is also experiencing a lack of respect from some teens in the village and that concerns him.
And it is spilling over into how youth treat their parents he said.
He recounted how a youth had come into his office to call home.
"He told him mom he was hanging out at the youth centre, then as soon as he hung up it was ‘OK let’s ride,’" said McDonnell.
But before the youths could head out McDonnell had a little chat with them.
"They just want you to know we are looking out for their safety," he told the parents.
Another characteristic of small high school is the tendency for Grades 7 through 12 to party together.
That means the younger grades are often exposed to behaviour, such as drinking and drug use, at a very young age.
The solution, said Routley and others, is to know where your kids are; check to make sure they are where they said they were going to be even if it means phoning other parents.
And get involved and love your kids. There are dozens of programs offered through various organizations which offer activities parents and youths can do together.
Other suggestions from the work groups included:
• keep the computer in the family room. That way parents can monitor what their kids are up to on the Internet and if they are in the same room conversation is more likely to take place;
• set up a phone tree with other parents so information can be shared;
• respect your child and they will eventually respect you back;
• get to know your kids’ friends and their parents;
• try and have a family meal together everyday;
• make sure your spouse knows what you know and knows the rules.
The primary goal of everything the parent is doing is to keep their kids safe. Said Patti Walhovd, the in-coming chair of Whistler Secondary’s Parent Advisory Council: "That is one of our jobs.
"And never, never concede defeat."
