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Pique n' your interest

Seven deadly sins

A solitary figure, strolling through the nearly empty village, looked up at the clear blue skies and peaks dotted with patches of snow. Not liking what he saw, he raised his right arm and extended his middle finger to the cloudless horizon.

If there was any justice in the world, the sky gods should have been so offended by this gesture that they would have immediately dumped two metres of snow on the valley, and kept the skies gray and snowy for the next three months – just to teach that youngster, and all of us who have shook our fists at the sky this past month a lesson in respect.

Unfortunately the sky gods didn’t catch the gesture. They were too busy burying Buffalo, the southern U.S., and Eastern Canada in snow to pay much attention to what’s happening here.

I have to admit that I don’t like what I’m seeing up high much either, but I sustain myself with the belief that snow is still coming.

The Farmer’s Almanac even predicted a late start to winter this year, followed by above average snowfall accumulations.

Environment Canada released a report this year saying that in the future the West should expect warmer temperatures and more precipitation. The seasonal forecast calls for above normal temperatures, but the drought is not expected to last – El Nino seasons typically start off dry and get wetter as they go. A slow start doesn’t make it a bad season.

You also have to look on the bright side. On Dec. 1, I went mountain biking on Whistler’s south side and had a blast. Friends of mine are heading to Squamish every chance they get, because the local bike trails there are in perfect shape.

Hockey players have discovered a few frozen ponds in the area, and upwards of 200 people descended on the lower Joffrey Lake last weekend to play shinny hockey in the shadow of the glacier.

If you’ve lived here long enough, you can take the seasons in stride and make your optimistic best of the situation. If you’re here a limited time only, a season or two maximum, then by all means flip the sky gods the bird.

Oh, ye of little faith.

Snow will come, but first we need to show the sky gods a little respect, and atone for our collective sins.

Pride

You can’t make the weather. You can barely predict it. And any attempt to guarantee it is doomed to fail.

With the mountains hurting for snow, Whistler-Blackcomb finally took down that huge billboard on Highway 99 that read "El Nino – Back by popular demand," and boasted of the snow conditions during the last El Nino season in 1997-98.

Another Whistler-Blackcomb press release stated, truthfully, that Whistler-Blackcomb has generally led the West in early ski conditions for the past few seasons, and implied that we could probably expect the same this year.

Now we are being punished for our hubris.

Envy

In Whistler, we are constantly spying on our neighbours and complaining bitterly about how much snow they have. That’s envy.

Envy can also take other forms. We can be jealous of a friends’ skis or snowboard, their sleds, and all of their other cool toys. We are jealous of the big houses. We are jealous of the people who don’t have to work on a powder day, or are ahead of us in line when the Peak Chair opens.

Also, this entire town is geared to sell a lifestyle, to make the rest of the world envy us.

We are a little too quick to call ourselves the number one mountain resort in North America, and to celebrate our top rankings in ski and snowboard magazine polls.

Maybe a little humility could pay off with a lot of powder.

Gluttony

Gluttony is defined as an inordinate desire to consume more than one requires; e.g. ‘have a few too many’.

In this town of excess, of food and wine festivals, of aprés ski nacho and beer binges, of opulent restaurants, parties and festivals, we live a pretty fat life. When we’re all working that is.

Right now the only cure for gluttony is to donate generously and often to the local food bank, and help seasonal workers get by until the snow starts to fly. Maybe the snow gods will see our good deeds and reward us with a generous helping of the white stuff, which we can gorge ourselves on guilt-free.

Lust

Let’s just say that this town has a hedonistic side that at times could make Rio de Janeiro blush. From the Boot Ballet, to the body-painting and wet T-shirt contests, to all the late night dance-bars and meat markets, it’s safe to say that we’re not above giving into the sins of the flesh.

There’s a good reason the free clinic at the Whistler Health Care Centre is open two nights instead of one.

Given the choice between sex and powder, most people would probably choose sex – although I have heard several people say that a powder day is better than sex. Nobody takes these people seriously.

Unfortunately, this is one sin that the sky gods are going to have to allow us.

Anger

You’d think folks in Whistler would be more laid back than your average city-dweller, but in my years here I’ve witnessed road rage on the highway, powder rage in the lift lines, and village rage at the taxi loop after closing time. I’ve seen golfers throw clubs, mountain bikers throw bikes, and tourists throw tantrums.

I myself have been known to scream obscenities at the top of my lungs, typically on the disc golf course and bike trails.

At the same time, we probably have the highest per capita collection of hot tubs in the free world, plus dozens of masseuses, yoga instructors and bartenders that are here to help.

The best cure of all is powder. After a day in the deeps, most of us are too happy and tired to get angry about anything.

Greed

Greed is defined as "the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual." That pretty much sums up modern day Whistler; the rents we pay, the higher cost-of-living, and the constant development and redevelopment of the town for the benefit of what Dave Kirk called the "rich and the filthy rich."

Last year there were more than 20 applications to tear down old homes, many occupied by staff, to build new luxury homes.

The Creekside area is being turned into a playground for millionaires, and proposed developments in the neighbourhood will likely result in the gentrification of that location.

If greed continues to drive the locals out, the spirit of this town will die. Beware – maybe the sky gods will take pity on us poor ski bums and follow us to the next ski town.

Sloth

Sloth is the one sin we’re not guilty of in this town, unless you’re talking about house cleaning, laundry, hanging out on patios, and the proliferation of video game consoles.