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Feature - The Ghost of Christmas Presents

Shoppin’ in the Hood, part 1

By G.D. Maxwell

On the first day of Giving, my true love gave to me….

The first day of what?

Call it pragmatism, call it godless heathenism, but whatever you do, don’t call it Christmas. The politically correct bureaucrats have officially caught up with what all of us have known since the first time we longingly – and greedily – absorbed the kids’ pages at the back of the Eaton’s catalogue. Christmas is all about presents.

For most of us, that reality only produces a twinge of Judaeo-Christian guilt and a vague, primordial worry about how hot our afterlife is likely to be. But thanks to our very très outlook we can indulge in this seasonal greedfest with official blessings and without worry of alienating our multicultural mosaic. Happy Givingmas everybody.

Being among the shopping-challenged but also believing in stretching personal limits, I’m here to make your holiday – whatever you call it – gift giving much, much easier. What follows are all kinds of things that caught my eye and tickled my fancy shopping around our happy, albeit snowless, mountain home.

This year, more than ever, we should think nice thoughts about shopping locally and supporting the merchants who employ us. Shoppers to your marks, get set, shop baby, shop.

It’s Not the Size That Matters

If your workload, and hence your paycheque, isn’t quite what you were expecting, fear not. Lots of great stuff out there under twenty-five bucks. Drown your own, or your best friend’s sorrows in a sugar high from Glass Elevator in Marketplace. From the hard to find, authentic British Cadbury bars – Dairy Milk, Whole Nut or Fruit & Nut – $4.23 for a 125 gram bar, to the equally obscure Rountree Fruit Gums or Pastilles, $1.49, you can keep the Brit in your life, and the dentist in his or her life, happy.

For the rest of us, the most underrated candy in the world, Necco wafers, are $1.35 for a large roll or Pez dispensers in every Disney character imaginable will set you back four bucks. Bizarre flavour junkies can make for the Jelly Belly jelly bean display and eat themselves silly on buttered popcorn or hot cinnamon – better yet, both at the same time – morsels for $2.50/100 grams.

Next door, the Escape Route stocks more than you might think to tickle the gear junkie in your life even when funds are tight. Wigwam Merino wool sox will warm anyone’s toes for $14.60. Pulsar keyring lights emit a blinding white beam from a tiny LED, $19.90. Everyone needs more Lexan in their lives, particularly when it comes in jewel colours, $11.95 for a one litre bottle. And if you live with a climber, keep their hands dry and grippy with Metolius super chalk – $3.50 for 2 ounces or $6.95 for a quarter pound – and their watch intact with Roc Bloc’s nifty watch cover. It slips onto a watch strap and velcros down to protect the crystal from getting smeared against their favourite climb, $10.

Still in Marketplace, Russ has been stocking Katmandu with gifty stuff pending the arrival of any significant snow. If you’re drowning your sorrows in something other than alcohol, you might like a tiny, silver chamber pipe at $15 or maybe one of the many glass hookas for $22. A couple of very cool Kowel combination lighters and tools – think Swiss army knife with flame – combine fire with screwdrivers for $22 in silver and anodized red. A cobalt blue Optimus fuel bottle will fire almost any camp stove for $24.

If the only cookin’ you’re going to be doing is indoors, Whistler Kitchen Works has lots of what you need. Good tools are good tools, whether you’re working on a car or dinner. Three are must haves if you’re making Givingmas dinner this year. Swissmar’s potato peeler sets the standard for prosaic tools. It’s sharp and slick once you get used to the fact it doesn’t look like a potato peeler. $4.95 and you’ll smile every time you use it. Ditto Zyliss’ garlic press. If $21.95 sounds pricy, it isn’t for a tool that makes a tough job so easy you’ll be squeezing garlic onto your cornflakes. And don’t even try to mess with a turkey without Foxrun’s baster set. A real metal baster and good quality squeeze bulb and a screw-in needle for injecting precious bodily fluids under the skin is $14.95. While the turkey’s cookin’, sip martinis in Thirst Aid red cross – well, actually Swiss flag – stubby martini glasses. $9.95 each and they’ll never get knocked over.

This price range won’t get you much in the way of martini fixin’s at the Liquor Store, but it will get you a 750ml bottle of St. Remy Napoleon Brandy to spike your holiday eggnog. And if the French champagne police aren’t watching too closely, you can sip some Sumac Ridge Stellar’s Jay Brut for $22 or even the party-size bottle of Freixenet – 1.5 litre – for $25. Happy Holidays.

Great Games and Toys is a short stumble away. While many toys have broken heretofore unknown price barriers, the bins are still full of inexpensive fun. A hacky sack will improve foot-eye co-ordination and is the de rigueur entry to hours of entertaining tourists at Village Square, $2.99. Always fun to give or receive, rubber snakes in an assortment of species will run you $3.99 for one large enough to startle almost anybody. If you caught the World Series, you couldn’t miss Anaheim’s rally monkeys. A reasonable facsimile is $10 in an assortment of monkey and near-monkey colours. Groovy Girl dolls – think Spice Girls meet Cabbage Patch kids – and ultimately huggable at $13. And you can still break into the world of Harry Potter in this price range with a Harry Lego combo at $16.

The new Daily Planet store in Marketplace continues the proud Funky Junky tradition uptown. Karen and Martin have stuffed the store with homey things from this price range to ones we dare not consider… yet. There are softly glowing beaded candles in glass cups with holiday themes – Santas, reindeer, snowmen – small for $5 and larger for $7.50. A shrine of antiqued brass, Italian candle holders start at $17 for an unobtrusive, simple holder with built-in matchbox to one with a larger, flower petal motif for $21.

Further up the stroll toward Town Plaza, Lotus Art Supplies will put someone you live in touch with their inner artist. A small box of Reeves pastels in 12 colours runs a soft $8. A starter set of 24 watercolour pencils will let you venture into a different medium for $19. And with Canson’s sketch book, you’ll have an almost endless supply of paper; the 120 page pad of 9"x12", 50lb paper is only $10.

Just across the bridge, Whistler’s funkiest store, Funk Inc., offers a flotilla of bathtub toys for $4. Tugboats, pigs, frogs, whales and, of course, yellow rubber duckies, the latter in two sizes, large for $5. They also guarantee no live animals were sacrificed to create their zebra or leopard skin print paper coasters. $20 for a similarly printed tin box of 16. And for Zippy the Dog, a two-pack of mint flavoured tennis balls promise no more doggie breath for $13. Better be extra strong.

Still shopping for Zippy, the Puppy Zone, aside from their dog care duties, have strap-on holiday antlers certain to make your mutt cringe and you snap pictures like there’s no tomorrow. $12 for the entry-level model and $15 for the deluxe version with flashing lights and disembodied Christmas carol guaranteed to make both you and the dog nuts. A glow-in-the-dark frisbee with embossed chew bone on top will fetch $20 and Zippy’s own stocking, complete with a couple of tennis balls – flavourless – and a rope chew toy is only $11.

Bear Pause, home of all things ursine, has salt and pepper shakers in, what else, mama bear size for $25. Or, in the holiday spirit, chubby Santa shakers for the same price.

The world’s most crowded hardware store, Whistler Hardware, has, well, hardware. But more importantly, for $22 they have a very workmanlike chrome cocktail shaker to help make merry during the Givingmas rush. And if we could get everyone to religiously carry one of their $20 full-size, wooden-handled umbrellas… we might just make it snow one of these days.

The paperless world of Fiber Options has a whole rack of the most stunning cards in town. Tree-free and wildly decorated with treefrogs, medusas and other hallucinations – even the envelopes are works of art – you can make up your own Givingmas greeting for $3.95. If you’re hooked on their handmade soap, check out the bars of Whistler Winter Fresh Wintermint soap. For $6.50 you too could smell as fresh as Whistler would smell if there weren’t any tourists in town… like right now for example.

Discover new places or revisit old with Jack Christie as your guide. Jack’s Whistler Outdoors Guide is $19 at Armchair Books. As long as you’re there, we still have a few copies of Whistler: History in the Maki ng published by Pique Press at the ridiculously low price of $20. C’mon.

You might not be able to afford a home in Whistler, but you can make your place look better with ceramic switch plates from Skitch. Hand made, the colourful plates range from a cobalt blue sky with yellow sun to local moose, bears, fish, cats and dogs. $20 for a single to $25 for a triple.

At the end of the village, you can warm your toes at the Mountain Shop with toed sox in black and yellow bumblebee stripes for $10. Or keep your bean warm with a wall of Bula hats at McCoo’s all around $20-$25. The staff assure me these heaters are more fashion accessory than straight hat and it’s okay to buy more than one.

A quick run to Function Junction turned up a couple of final gifts anyone, even lowly writers, would like. Loral offers a perfect stocking stuffer, miniature incense sticks packed in three flavours with a rosewood holder for $8. They come in an embossed, handmade paper case and leave your humble home smelling like jasmine, or lotus or green tea or something equally exotic. Painted metal Christmas tree ornaments are cut in the shape of hearts, stars, trees and fish for $5.85.

But the find of the category was at Housewares Etc. Straight from the trailer trash collection, the most amazing assortment of Rubenesque, sequin-dressed tarts will hold your place cards or photos in a clip ($5) or drape themselves seductively over the rim of your glass ($6). Their come hither features would be set off well under the soft glow of rice paper patio lights. A string of 10 three-inch diameter globes in red, white or yellow are $25.

Just in the Nick of Time: A Paycheque

Or maybe a care package from home. Either way, if your budget stretches into the $25 to $100 snack bracket, the village is your oyster, to torture a cliché.

Feed the mind and the spirit will be satisfied. On the other hand, your spirit might be restless if you spend around $40 in Armchair Books on one the titles in their wall of travel. Let’s Go, Lonely Planet, and Frommers will cover the globe from A to Z, well V at least, with volumes on Australia to Vietnam. Or stick closer to home and discover what’s around you with one of the Audubon Society’s Field Guides for the same price.

If the object of your affections has a latent artistic bent, Lotus Art Supplies can offer lots of alternatives to tap the creative juices. For example, Watercolour for the Artistically Undiscovered by Thatcher Herd and John Cassiday, comes with six pots of pigment and a 48 page set of guides and exercises in basic techniques like washing and colour combining: $37.

You can feather your nest in this range. A truly unique, plush Haida Grizzly bear based on a Bill Reid design is both cuddly friend and objet d’art at Bear Pause, $77. Oversized cast hooks at the Daily Planet will help organize your space. These enormous, double wall-mount hooks come in cast aluminum and much heavier iron in several finishes for $39. Or if your place is Whistler-small, a more delicate bar of three brass moose hooks is $30. Either one will free up valuable floor or closet space.

You can use the newly-liberated floor space for a Kilim prayer rug from Nostalgic Living and Whistler Design in Function. Zen out in a peaceful place where snow falls bounteously for $100. And throw soft light on your enlightenment with a warm green or yellow glow from one of the nearby cast iron tealight holders from Housewares Etc. These weighty – and very bizarre – holders come in the shape of a scarab beetle or bumblebee and have to be seen to be believed: $50. If bugs don’t turn you on though, Funk Inc has a red beaded heart-shaped lamp that lets your love light shine.

More practical, but less romantic, gifts for the home can be had at Whistler Kitchen Works. Fondue is back with a vengeance. The Swissmar Sierra is a heavyweight cheese and meat fondue with cast iron rechaud and two quart pot in several colours, $95. Cuisipro offers a lighter weight but serviceable version for $60. Or skip right to dessert and opt for the very romantic chocolate fondue for $36 from Swissmar, $40 from Cuisipro.

All very nice, but let’s face it, almost everybody on your shopping list is a gearhead. And while you’re not likely to score much in the way of skis or boards for a hundred bucks, there are still some must-haves in this range. Find of the trip was a dozen or so of last year’s Dakine Heli Pro packs at Katmandu for $79. Who’s gonna know? While you’re there, check out the RC Sport tuning kit for the boarder in your life; 60 bucks for a pack’s worth of scraper, files, wax and other goodies to go fast and be sharp. And a lightweight, double espresso maker will blow your camping partner away for $34, with a couple of stainless demitasse cups for a trailside jolt.

Escape Route has a couple of necessary pieces of equipment for powderpigs poaching backcountry lines in this price range. A G3 avalanche probe snaps out to 320 centimetres: $85. And a Life Link, two-piece shovel will dig down to whatever the probe hit. Lifetime warranty, electric colours, $54.

Marmot Piste gloves from McCoo’s will keep your hands warm while digging or just skiing around. These GoreTex gauntlets have full leather palms and capped fingers and Marmot quality for $100. But boarders have different needs, something tough enough to take their knuckle, er, palm dragging turns. Like Marmot’s very moto Ice glove or Kombi’s crossover for those who occasionally do both. Either will run you $100. And if your budget won’t let you break into the coated, mirrored, parabolic lensed world of high-fashion goggles, you can still see with Smith’s Cascade PMT gog; sealed double lens and lots of West Coast venting for $50.

Don’t forget to touch the techie in your life. Contrary to popular belief, the single most dramatic improvement you can make to a computer isn’t more memory – it’s better sound. Junk those tinny door prizes that came with the machine and surround your geek lover with AOpen’s powered subwoofer speakers from Zoomy Computers. Lots of sound for little dough. $49 keeps the Grateful Dead from sounding disturbingly like Barry Manilow. Also at Zoomy, a very chic wireless mouse in silver surfer motif from AOpen cuts the umbilical and will make someone’s carpal tunnels happier: $59. Or indulge; Funk Inc has a $50 three-button, leopard print mouse and matching pad. I’m not kidding.

There are two mechanical sounds in this world that are unmistakable. One is the sound of tires fighting hopelessly for purchase on ice, a quintessential Canadian sound. The other is a Zippo lighter being opened or closed. Even nonsmokers can’t resist the feel of these nostalgic fire machines. Ruby Tuesday has a nice collection, including an etched brass one with a place for engraving initials, $40, a utilitarian blue painted steel version, $30, and a downdraft pipe lighter for $35. Be discrete though when you use it to light up one of Katmandu’s smokeless wonders. All-in-one kit with wooden "tobacco" holder and ceramic delivery system: $40.

It ain’t Givingmas if there aren’t clothes under the tree. And clothes come in two broad categories: look good; work good. Leading the look good field is a bamboo and floral motif, 100 per cent hemp Hawaiian shirt at Fiber Options: $88.50. They’ve also got some very Jamaica-mahn, rainbow striped Yeti handmade sweaters for $99 and Green Babylon hemp hoodies in a couple of colours for $79.

Hoodies being to Whistler what suits are to Bay street, you can indulge your passion at the Penalty Box with yer basic Russell Sweats hoody, $42, a black and blue Seks fashion hoody for $80 or Quicksilver’s Running Man hoody, $86. Almost next door at Escape Route, Doglotion’s Warlock hoody, complete with tough-dog studs around the hood, will set you back $80.

In the working clothes world, it’s hard to beat putting Patagonia between you and your Calvins, or whatever. Midweight capilene zip T’s in men’s or women’s seem to run $65 at Escape Route, The Mountain Shop, McCoo’s and the Patagonia Store down in Little Seattle. Take five bucks off for a crew neck and keep the lower half warm for $60 or $75 if you’re into stretch tights.

Wrapping up the finds in this price range, there are some funky jammies at Inside Out Boutique, a silk-feel, poly-cotton top and bottom maroon polka-dot come hither pair for $55 and a playful 100 per cent cotton pair with enough lambs on it to count anyone to sleep for $64. The Hat Gallery will indulge your head with a fleece leopard skin pillbox hat, $28, a very Aspen red cowgirl number for $80 or a playful fleece reindeer, complete with red nose – no reindeer games, please – for $55.

Whistler being Whistler, we've just begun to scratch the surface. Next week, gifts for high rollers, last minute shoppers and all the rest of us who live in denial about scary visits from the credit card bills of Christmas Past.



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