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Pique n' your interest

I can change

The greatest myth in all humanity is the notion that we can actually change, always for the better, whenever we need to. Crazier still, we believe we can schedule that change for the day after New Year.

While we all enjoy the return to sanity after the hectic holiday season, and people can and should make an honest effort to quit smoking, eat healthy foods, workout at the gym more often and begin flossing regularly, the idea that we can spontaneously decide to change is absurd. I don't have any hard statistics, but a few Web sites I found pegged the number of successful New Year's resolutions at anywhere from two to 20 per cent. At best you only have a one in five chance of succeeding, and an 80 per cent chance of failure - and failure is never good for the fragile human psyche. It leads to self-defeat, which leads to depression, which leads to more over-consumption, which leads to more New Year's resolutions. I'm already a huge disappointment to myself, but I could always sink a little lower.

So why do it? Why make New Year's resolutions if we have little or no chance of actually following through?

In a way it's only natural to try. People always make promises to themselves during binges, and bingeing just happens to be what the holidays are all about.

Besides, deep down we all know that it's important to make changes, and follow through with some of the goals we set for ourselves. The confidence boost we get from every success is worth a hundred failed attempts.

I still haven't given up on any of the 300 or so New Year's resolutions I've made for myself over the years. I've even accomplished a few things in the attempts, although the results vary.

It's only recently that I've figured out that resolutions are not about life-changing decisions - nobody can wake up on New Year's Day a whole new person - unless your goal was to be a person with a headache, a hickey and a brutal case of dry mouth. In that case, mission accomplished.

Walk before you run. Crawl before you walk.

My advice to all the butterflies out there is to live in the cocoon a little while longer, and make little New Year's resolutions you can actually keep.

If you're looking for a few ideas, I'll share my list with you.

Resolution #1 - Eat more beans.

I'm a vegetarian, and it's always a struggle to get the protein I need to grow big and strong. I also enjoy beans. Still, I find that I only have beans with my meal once or twice a week. I resolve to buy more beans this year, and to use more beans when I'm cooking or making salad.

Resolution #2 - Finish 2004 with more money in my bank account than I started with.

This is harder than it sounds for me, the last of the big time spenders. I've made this pledge before, and failed. Still, if I stick to Resolution #1 and eat more beans, maybe I'll eat out less and save more cash.

Resolution #3 - Stop buying CDs because I like one song.

I've bought hundreds of CDs in my lifetime because I liked a song or two, only to be disappointed when I brought it home. With services like iTunes, you can sample albums before you buy, and only purchase the songs you want. It's $2 for two songs, rather than $20 for a whole CD.

That doesn't mean I won't buy any more CDs, I just won't buy with my gut. This could help me out a lot with Resolution #2.

Resolution #3 - Ride harder obstacles and terrain.

I made this resolution last year, and it worked on my snowboard and mountain bike. I don't know how much farther my ability can take me, but why stop when I'm on a roll?

Resolution #4 - Run a half marathon.

I probably could have pulled this off in the summer of 2002, but I did a lot less running this year. The Victoria half marathon is in October, so I should be able to pull it off. I'm fairly injury prone, so I give myself about a 70 per cent chance of fulfilling this dream.

Resolution #5 - Ease up on the hot sauce.

This one is a challenge. I use tons of the stuff, even though it never really has sat very well with me. I get the hiccups, the burps, and even worse things. My girlfriend's theory is that I eat a lot of hot sauce because I can't really taste food, as a result of a chronic sinus infection thing. I think she's right. I'm supposed to be getting surgery on my sinuses this year, so I'd say this resolution is in the bag.

Resolution #6 - Buy Canadian.

Like a lot of people, I'm always outraged when Canadian companies go under or get bought out by multinationals. I think a strong Canada, with healthy homegrown industries paying good, living wages, is good for all Canadians. I just don't think multinationals share our values, or care about things like universal health care and the Canadian Pension Plan. This year I pledge to do more research when I purchase something, and to buy Canadian whenever possible.

Resolution #7 - Be Happier.

That may sound like a toughie, but research has shown that people who make an effort to smile are happier than people who don't - in other words, you don't just smile because you're happy, you're happy because you smile. I think it has something to do with reflexology and reprogramming your neurons to release the right mixture of chemicals in your brain. Sounds creepy, but happy neurologists swear by it.

Resolution #8 - Do one new thing every day.

I've done this before, and it's not that tough. On the slow days you can order something different off a menu, go for a short walk after dinner, read something new before you go to bed, learn a new card game. Be as nitpicky as you want, so long as you can look in the mirror at the end of the day and come up with one new thing.

Happy New Year. And good luck whatever you resolve for yourself.