FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
By Rob Brezsny
ARIES (March 21-April 19): When I was in my twenties, I refused
to work for a living because I wanted to
live
for a living. As a result, I got an extended opportunity to perfect
the art of cheerful poverty. One winter, while staying in a ramshackle cottage
in North Carolina, my cash reserves got so low that I had to leap to a new
level. For meals, I exuberantly retrieved discarded food from dumpsters behind
grocery stores. For heat, I gleefully smashed up my wooden furniture with a
hammer and threw it in my wood stove. I was the happiest person alive, with
lots of leisure time to meditate, read books, write poetry, take long walks,
and make love with my girlfriends. Be inspired by my example, Aries. Identify
some aspect of your life you tend to regard as inadequate or insufficient, and
redefine it to be an asset.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): "Courage is not the
abnormal," wrote poet Jack Gilbert. "Not the marvelous act. Not
Macbeth with fine speeches. It is the thing steady and clear. The marriage, not
the month's rapture. The beauty that is of many days. The normal excellence, of
long accomplishment. Not the Prodigal Son, but Penelope." Gilbert's words
are my gift to you, brave Taurus. Of all the signs, you best express the virtue
of steady devotion to the demanding challenges of beauty and truth. In the
coming week, I predict that you will dramatically prove how miraculous that
quality can be.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You're a little off-kilter and
out-of-whack these days, Gemini. Don't worry about it. It's a natural response
to recent plot twists. Fortunately, there is a medicine you can get that will
fix you up pretty quickly. All you have to do is spend quality time in nature.
One long hike should be enough, though to be absolutely sure you flush the
psychic parasites that have been messing with you, two long hikes would be
better. To aid in the exorcism and healing, I suggest that you also sing songs
and shout out crazy ideas while wandering in the great outdoors. And if you
can't escape to the wild places, at least have a picnic in a park.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Columnist Jon Carroll once listed the
100 best human artifacts. They included things like clocks, screwdrivers,
shoelaces, and Band-aids. But in your horoscope this week, I especially want to
call your attention to the following items from his master list: pillows,
mirrors, balls, masks, swings, lipstick, stirrups, playing cards, and pear
nectar. There's a good chance that these best-ever creations will be featured
in the effervescent adventurers you'll soon have. Or at least they
should
be featured.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I suggest you make yourself alert for
the return of at least one blast from the past. You may receive a communiqué
from a forgotten sanctuary. A treasure that slipped from your grasp ages ago
may become available again, especially if you pay close attention to borders
and anomalies. Missing links may wander back in your direction, and old clues
you haven't thought of in many moons might put you hot on the trail of a
smoldering mystery you've been neglecting to investigate.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In a number of indigenous cultures,
there's the tradition of the "joking relationship." Two members of an
extended family, often a brother and sister-in-law, are expected to form a bond
that revolves around them playfully teasing each other. If you don't have an
ally like that in your life, Virgo, I urge you to get one. And if you already
do have such a companion, raise your connection to an even higher level of
loving mischief and jocular amusement. It'll keep you loose in just the right
ways during the coming weeks and months.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): "The early bird may get the
worm," says comedian Steven Wright, "but the second mouse gets the
cheese." It's one of those times, Libra, when I advise you to be like that
second mouse. A bit of procrastination will work in your favor. I want to offer
some additional wisdom from Wright because his upside-down perspective is
exactly what you need right now. (1) Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get
sucked into jet engines. (2) The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll
have to catch up. (3) Hard work pays off in the future, but laziness pays
off now.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): "Dear Mr. Sensitive Astrologer:
Let's get one thing straight. I don't want peace of mind! So stop trying to
talk me into going after it! It's impossible to have it on this earth. Got
that? And another thing. I don't care about your time-consuming emotional
resolution stuff!
I'm not
interested in chasing after the unrealistic goal of being a nice person. I just
want pure, raw, naked success--the kind of glory that makes me feel really
proud of my powerful effect on people. That's it! So shape up and start giving
me what I want in your little horrorscopes. -Truth-Telling Scorpio." Dear
Truthy: I love to help my readers achieve glory that makes them feel proud of
their powerful effect on the world. But in my opinion the best way to
accomplish that is by cultivating peace of mind, emotional resolution, and
kindness. By the way, it's now an excellent time to make great progress in this
work.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In the 18th century, the
Bastille was a notorious French prison. Its squalor was perhaps less oppressive
than other jails, however, because every inmate was supplied with three bottles
of wine per day. Being so continuously intoxicated, few were inclined to
attempt escape. I bring this to your attention, Sagittarius, in the hope that
it will serve as a warning. You are, in my opinion, overdue to flee from your
own personal version of imprisonment. But you'll be unlikely to do that if
you're drunk or stoned or otherwise in the throes of an influence that keeps
you foggy, distracted, or artificially satisfied. In the interests of
liberation, please keep your senses honed and your awareness focused.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Your theme in the coming days is
enchantment
on demand
. You're in an aggressively
elegant grace period—a time when you have the right to insist on being
delighted. It's as if you've been granted a poetic license to ask for and
receive not just any old mediocre pleasure, but rather intriguing, ennobling
pleasure. So don't sit back and hope that sublime fun will accidentally come
your way. Know that you have the authority to command its arrival front and
center.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In American psychotherapy, the
first question many practitioners ask their new clients is essentially,
"What did your parents do to you to mess you up so badly?" One of my
Japanese friends tells me that in his country, a therapist is more likely to
ask, "What did your parents do for you? How did they nurture and support
you?" Without dismissing the possibility that your mom and dad did inflict
damage on you, Aquarius, I'd like you to concentrate on the Japanese-style
inquiry for now. While you're at it, meditate on these themes as well: What are
the best things that happened to you when you were growing up? What did your
extended family and community give you that you've never fully appreciated?
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):
Normal People Scare Me
is the title of a documentary movie about
high-functioning autistic people. It might also serve well as the title of your
life story's current chapter. Ordinary everyday reality is your greatest enemy
right now. It threatens to ensnare you in a numbing trance at the exact moment
when you need to saunter off into the unknown. Habit and routine are exerting a
seductive pressure that could distract you from the fascinating tests you
really need to embrace. The ironic fact of the matter is that at least for the
moment, you should be wary of your longing for security.
To find out about my daily text message horoscopes or expanded audio horoscopes, go to http://realastrology.com.