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Pique’s guide to Halloween

Procrastination is a killer. We're here to help.
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As you should know by now, Halloween is coming up real fast. If you're anything like the rest of us, you have no idea what's going on or where you're planning to celebrate.

Fortunately, you have the caring and well-informed Pique staff to help you make that difficult decision. After months of analysis and grueling research, we've compiled a list of what's what and where for Halloween this year.

Saturday: Because it falls on a Monday this year, we actually get three days of Halloween, beginning Saturday. Start out with the WAG Creekside Halloween Bash (1 to 5 p.m.) , a two-day event on Saturday and Sunday for the whole family, including (especially) the dog. There's nothing greater than dressing little Rosco in a bear costume and parading that dog around the town square. This year's Bash will include a haunted house created by the imaginative folks at Paintertainment, a free pumpkin for the pumpkin-carving contest and the hallmark of any Halloween Bash: a costume contest, Tickets for entry are $35 for a two-day unlimited family pass; $20 for a one-day unlimited family pass; $20 for a two-day unlimited single pass; $12 for a one-day unlimited single pass; $5 for admission for the haunted house.

On Saturday night, the 3 rd Annual Bass Coast Halloween Party is happening in Squamish. DJs - including HUMANS, JPod, Kori K, Lorne B, Mat the Alien and more - will spin in either the infamous 80-foot tee pee or the 60-foot spirit tent. There will also be bonfires, fire art, peace and love and other glad Bass Coast-influenced tidings. Last year, some genius lit a roman candle and nearly burnt the tee pee down. Nothing says Halloween like a knife-wielding clown scaling the side of a giant tee pee to cut a fire out.

The 19+ event has sold out the past two years, so jump on tickets ASAP if you're keen. Online tickets are now sold out but cash tickets are available at Trinity Romance in Squamish and Fanatykco in Whistler for $45 plus HST. Visit www.basscoast.ca for more information.

If Bass Coast ain't yo' scene, or you just feel like smashing beers in someone's crowded kitchen, there are plenty of random house parties happening around town. We don't know of any though, so you're on your own here.

Sunday: After you've done the WAG Bash for the second day in a row, it's best that you make like you're dead and join the Whistler Zombie Walk (7 p.m.) Rather than occupying Whistler by setting up tents in Day Lot 1, or whatever, occupy Whistler by spattering on some fake blood and lurching your way through the village. There's no better way to protest the widening income gap by demanding the brains of local politicians and business leaders.

Afterward, Tommy Africa's is hosting Monster Massive 7 , featuring Whistler's finest drum 'n' bass and dubstep DJs. Costumes are apparently mandatory. The party starts immediately after the zombie walk and anyone who takes part in the walk gets a free beer. Tickets are on sale at Hempire for $25.

Of course, the completely sold-out B-Grade Horrorfest is happening at the Fairmont at the same time, but you either have a ticket and know that already, or are completely S.O.L.

Monday: It's the big day. By now, you've either ridden the wave of Halloween hysteria and a) are sick of costumes OR b) have the stamina of Keith Moon and want to keep at 'er. Fortunately, there's plenty going on.

Maxx Fish is hosting the Maxx Fish Massacre , which will include $500 cash prizes for best costumes and, hopefully, not a real massacre - except by Fidel Ca$hflow, who will murder you with his beats. Entry is free, which sounds a little suspect now that we think about it, and a little bit.... dangerous .

If danger/free entry is your bag, the Mix is hosting the Mix Monster Mash, featuring the Librarian on the decks, free Halloween inspired cocktails (Grey matter martinis? Really Bloody Marys?) and, that hallmark of Halloween, a costume contest at 12:30 a.m.

Brandy's @ The Keg is hosting the All Treat, No Treat party with DJ Livingdead who, hopefully, is more lively than his name suggests. There is also no cover here and a best costume contest.

If children slaughtered your ability to party and are now your masters, appease them by taking them to Tapley's Halloween in the Tapley's neighbourbood, which, we've been told, is the best place ever for trick-or-treating from dusk until the candy runs out.