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The Glen Plake Story

It seemed like a good idea at the time. It was the fifth running of Words & Stories. And as usual, I wanted Whistler’s annual mountain gab fest to be a good one. But how do you improve on such great tale spinners at Jeff Holden and G.D.
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It seemed like a good idea at the time. It was the fifth running of Words & Stories. And as usual, I wanted Whistler’s annual mountain gab fest to be a good one. But how do you improve on such great tale spinners at Jeff Holden and G.D. Maxwell and Ivan E. Coyote and Jim McConkey and Ace McKay-Smith and Kinnie Starr? I needed a ringer. I wanted to anchor this year’s show with somebody that would really light a fire under people’s butts.

“Why don’t you invite Glen Plake,” suggested my friend Jack Turner. One of the most creative people I know in the ski business, Turner can always be counted on to come up with a great idea or two. But this time, his idea was truly exceptional. I was hooked from the moment he mentioned it.

It made sense. Plake had recently severed his career-long relationship with K2 and was now working with Elan as one of its principal ski ambassadors. As it turned out, Turner also had a couple of friends in management there. “We can make this thing happen,” he told me in his inimitable little-kid way. “We’ll make this year’s event a night to remember.”

And why not? Given his unique look and way-out attitude, Plake might just very well be the most recognizable Snoweater on the planet. And he loves to talk about skiing. Climber, adventurer, all-round fun hog — and surely one of the greatest jesters and entertainers skiing has ever seen — the Mohawked One has done more in his lifetime to promote snowplay and sliding down mountains in wintertime than just about anybody I know. He’d be perfect for Words & Stories.

Remember Blizzard of Aaaah’s? Or License To Thrill ? Or even A Fistful of Moguls ? Remember just how revolutionary those ski flicks seemed when they first came out? At a time when most people thought skiing had totally lost its mojo (and in many respects, mainstream skiing really did lose its way in the ’80s), here was this wild and crazy ski character with a braying laugh and balls of steel. He was American through and through — a working class hero who wore his skis long and his hair straight up.

But the kid sure could ski. Along with his alter ego, Scot Schmidt, he came to redefine what American big-mountain skiing and adventuring was all about. And he did it laughing all the way.

At first, the ski bourgeoisie dismissed him. He was loud. He was brash. He didn’t respect conventions. The cords-and-loafers set just didn’t get what all the fuss was about. I mean, who did this young hotdog think he was anyway? To them, Plake was nothing more than a clown…

But Plake couldn’t give a flying fart for their opinion. As far as he was concerned, he was a hotdogger. And he wore that moniker proudly. But more importantly he really loved to ski. And he wanted other people to love it too. And that to me has always been the message that Glen is best at delivering.

People are really touched by the guy. They love his honesty. They love his earthiness. But more than that, they love the way he wears his skiing heart on his sleeve. Unlike so many other skiers of his generation, his verve and showmanship have lifted him far beyond the insular little world of the mountains and made him a mainstream star. Who could forget his groundbreaking appearance on ABC’s Good Morning America, or his side-splitting performance on LIVE with Regis and Kathie Lee?

I mean, ask any non-skier to name a famous skiing celebrity and chances are they’ll mention “the guy with the crazy orange (or even red, white and blue) Mohawk.”

He truly is a man of the people. Consider his groundbreaking Down Home Tour — a unique guerrilla promotion campaign that saw Plake travel over 13,000 miles in 68 days in order to spring surprise visits to 50 ski areas in 33 states.

That’s right — 50 ski areas in 33 states…

This wasn’t about hanging out with other ski celebrities at Aspen or Whistler. This is was all about travelling to Michigan and Wisconsin and Virginia and Pennsylvania and visiting with true skiing enthusiasts. As Plake so readily points out: “It’s easy to love skiing if you hang out in Squaw Valley. But try doing it at a ski hill that’s 250 feet high where its 20 below zero most days. That’s hardcore. That’s where the real skiers are…”

But there is a lot more to it than that, he says. “Heck,” continues Plake, “resorts like Whistler and Squaw wouldn’t even exist without these small little places. Besides, I get a huge buzz from spending time with the people there. Why? Because they really think skiing is cool. And million-dollar condos and fancy hotels have nothing to do with it… ”

So yes, it did make sense to try and convince the Plakester to come north for this year’s Words & Stories. And to my great surprise, it took very little convincing. He was keen to come up. Keen to get on stage and talk about skiing. And it didn’t sound like he’d lost any of his fire. “There’s a bunch of people in the ski business right now who’ve got their head’s up their ass,” he told me. “And if we don’t do something about it soon, we’re all gonna lose.”

Yeah, I thought. That’ll set off some fireworks for sure. I couldn’t wait to let him loose on our audience.

But then I’d forgotten to take the fine young men and women at Canada Customs into account…

It was rumoured for years that Plake couldn’t cross the border into Canada because of a pot bust two decades ago. But I didn’t think it would be an issue this time around. After all, Plake totally changed his life after meeting and marrying his soulmate, Kimberley. The guy doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke and he’s in extraordinary physical shape. Except for his trademark ’do, Plake is just about as straight as they come.

Unfortunately, the border guard who checked his papers at Vancouver International Airport decided he had a deadly threat to Canada’s security on his hands. Plake was detained in Customs for five hours. His cell phone was confiscated and he was kept incommunicado. Couldn’t phone Kimberley, couldn’t even contact his TV producer who was patiently waiting outside, wondering what the heck was going on…

Did I mention that Glen was going to do a segment on Whistler for his syndicated TV show while he was here? Did I mention that the show is broadcast across the United States?

You can see where this is all going. After being grilled for five hours by the crack troops at Canada Customs, Plake was frogmarched onto a plane and sent back to Reno. Never got to tell his stories. Never got to do his TV show. Never even got a chance to step onto Canadian soil. How absurd is that?

Now this isn’t the first time skiing VIPs have been detained or refused entry at the border. Just the other day, Whistler-Blackcomb’s Peter Young told me about an Italian friend he’d invited to the Canadian Alpine Championships who was held up by customs guards for hours because they didn’t believe he was volunteering at the event. Pique Newsmagazine even did a story about this subject a few months back. And what the writer discovered was truly disturbing.

The irony in all this is that B.C. is desperately trying to promote itself as a world-class mountain destination. Our beloved premier, Gordie Campbell, has even challenged tourism operators to come up with new and exciting initiatives to entice more visitors to our province. But what does that mean? Tourism researchers tell us over and over that a visitor’s experience begins the moment he or she steps foot in our country. If that’s the case, then we’re in trouble. Can you imagine the story that Plake will be telling friends and colleagues about his “visit” to B.C.? Can you imagine him ever deciding to travel to Canada again? Or ever recommending it to any of his friends?

We want to host the world. We want to be considered first class. Sadly, we still have a long way to go…