Ho, ho, ho. It's that time of year.
A time for giving (and givin'er) and while it's easy to rage about consumerism and the lost meaning of the season these days, I actually think things are getting better. This may be the holiday season where we consume less and appreciate more. For instance, Hollywood is recycling this Christmas, with the (not) new Grinch movie last week and an "updated" Mary Poppins flick this week. That's 20-per-cent landfill aversion! (But don't tell the "Squamish Moms" Facebook group you solved a child's problems with a spoonful of sugar... they'll hang you by your Santa sack.)
The most important thing to know about Mary Poppins Returns is that it's a 130-minute musical. If you're still reading, the good news is that most of the singing comes from Emily Blunt, as Poppins, and Lin-Manuel Miranda as Jack, a lamplighter who's in to fill the old Dick Van Dyke chimney sweeper role. (But fear not! Van Dyke makes an appearance, still dancing in his 90s, and Meryl Streep pokes in too.)
The story is familiar, but updated. Set 25 years after the original film (released in 1964), the Banks children (no relation) are now grown up and realizing that all the sugar and song in the world can't fend off the cold, hard tendrils of reality.
Michael Banks has lost his wife, seen his artistic dreams crushed, and is burdened by a second mortgage on his home. Enter Poppins, who arrives to save the day, teach the lessons, sing the songs and rake in the money. Blunt and Miranda perform admirably and director Rob Marshall (Chicago, Into the Woods) ups the magic and spectacle while still finding time to pay homage to the cool live action/animation hybrid that blew so many minds back in '64. It's a musical though, just saying.
Also opening this week, Bumblebee looks like the first Transformers movie in a while that doesn't suck. Travis Knight (Kubo and the Two Strings) steps into the director role and Hailee Steinfeld (True Grit, The Edge of Seventeen) stars in a less visually aggressive flick that is not only set in the 1980s, but is also throws back to the O.G. '80s Transformers—Bumblebee is a yellow VW Bug.
The plot borrows tricks from Star Wars, E.T., even The Breakfast Club, but overall, Knight keeps his hands on the wheel and his foot, at least sometimes, on the brakes. The result is a smaller-scale, more personally rooted, coming-of-age Transformers flick about a young girl searching for independence and a car with enough heart to give it to her.
Also opening, Aquaman is straight-up bonkers nonsense, but also pretty fun. Set shortly after Justice League ended, Aquaman (Jason Momoa) is cruising the ocean being a hero when suddenly there's a plot by his fish-talking half brother (Patrick Wilson) to unite the underwater world and become the "Ocean Master."
Amber Heard also stars as Mera, and she can control water (or wine, any fluid really, probably even your blood. She ought to be able to make people's blood shoot right out of their bodies but she doesn't. Instead she rides an orca, looks amazing, and is the best part of the movie.)
There's also an Arthurian-style trident subplot, an underwater gladiator match, and a billion gallons of really slick underwater visuals (jellyfish for clothes?!)
Director James Wan (The Conjuring) is known as a master of style, even if he doesn't always nail things like plot cohesion. It feels like Wan and DC were going for a Thor: Ragnarok vibe with this one, and Momoa does look like he's having fun, but the nearly 2.5 hours of assembled chaos never quite finds its flow. Weed is legal now though, so get the extra bag of M&Ms and have fun.
Speaking of candy, Merry Christmas. And if you're looking for flicks to stay home and watch around the tree my top Christmas movies are: Die Hard (yes, it is a Christmas movie; screenwriter Steven E. de Souza confirmed it on Twitter last year); Gremlins (Phoebe Cates and microwaved monsters!); FUBAR 2 (Alberta is pissed off at us these days, so maybe this classic sequel can help bridge the [poisoned] waters); The Night Before (Michael Shannon should have got an Oscar); and, of course, my favourite of all—Treevenge, which is 17 minutes and, like all the best things in life, free (on YouTube.)
Merry Christmas.
