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Geeks beat Microsoft to Zune patch

Web commentators wasted no time dubbing the simultaneous shutdown of thousands of Microsoft Zune players the “Zune Apocalypse,” conjuring images of Aztec curses and Mayan end-of-world mythology — which is about three years early given that the

Web commentators wasted no time dubbing the simultaneous shutdown of thousands of Microsoft Zune players the “Zune Apocalypse,” conjuring images of Aztec curses and Mayan end-of-world mythology — which is about three years early given that the Mayans have chosen Dec. 21, 2012 as the end of days.

The Zune Apocalypse is most definitely terrestrial in origin, a software glitch that froze 30GB models at the stroke of midnight on Dec. 30. Whether the glitch is related to the last firmware update — firmware being the root software that comprises the Zune’s operating system — is unknown, although the shutdowns have been reported on Zune players with and without the latest upgrade to 3.1.

A lot of Microsoft developers spent their New Year’s Eve working on a fix, which was a tall order. For one thing, it’s impossible to reset the players, or turn them on in a safe way that would allow users to apply a software patch.

Other users figured out a way around the glitch by the time Microsoft was even aware of the problem — letting the battery run down completely in order to reset the internal clock to the original factory setting. That allows users to go around the bug that apparently only kicks in at 12:00 a.m. on New Year’s Eve — pretty much the same bug fix that Microsoft came up with two days later.

Of course, Zune users lost no time screaming for compensation, and my guess is that Microsoft will probably comply with some freebies — maybe giving away some free Microsoft points to users to download music or videos or something. I hope it’s generous.

Microsoft did not need this drama right now. Like the critical Internet Explorer security alert less than a month ago, Microsoft’s ability to write good, clean software has been called into question in the most dramatic, public and embarrassing way imaginable. Anyone on the fence over whether to buy an iPod, Zune or some other type of portable music player probably won’t care that only the older 30 GB models were affected, or that the fix was so simple.

Given ongoing problems with Vista, the generally lukewarm reception so far to Windows 7 and a host of other issues plaguing the company, it’s not surprising that Microsoft is rumored to be laying off up to 15,000 employees in 2009, or 17 per cent of its workforce.

The one exception, and thankfully because I own one, is Microsoft’s recently profitable Xbox division. Despite some problems with reliability at the outset, Xbox 360 is firmly in second place in the console market behind the Nintendo Wii, outselling the PS3 by 3-1 over the holidays, and outselling all other consoles including the Wii when it comes to games.

Microsoft appears to be a company that is badly in need of a makeover, starting with a new operating system that quite simply has to be the best in the market. If I were Microsoft I would delay Windows 7 until it’s perfect, and assemble a group of their harshest critics and Apple users to thoroughly kick the tires before the official release.

Microsoft Office software will always have a niche even though free alternatives like Google Docs and Open Office are gaining ground, but it wouldn’t be a bad idea to give people some compelling reasons to keep Office around. I’d personally like to see Microsoft focus more on templates or common functions. For example, Excel should come preloaded with spreadsheet templates that are designed to help you figure out mortgage interest and your family budget. You should have the ability to configure your copy of Word for direct-to-web publishing, and PowerPoint could use some more powerful 3D drafting and graphics tools for designers in an HD environment. They need to think about how people are actually using their software these days.

With tens of billions in the bank, Microsoft will also need to start acquiring a few profitable companies to boost their bottom line. Yahoo would have been a big mistake — Google has the search market wrapped up — but solid companies like Adobe with profitable, specialty lines of software make a lot of sense.

Internet Explorer has also been a bit of a disaster lately, so maybe Microsoft should acquire Opera — it’s dead last in the browser market right now in terms of usage, but it’s almost as fast as Firefox, it rules on mobile phones, and it’s the only browser to pass the Acid3 test for capability. Microsoft would also be acquiring the Opera development team in the process, which is the real value there.

If I were Microsoft, I’d also acquire Dropbox. If the future of computing is the cloud, meaning online software and file storage, then Dropbox is the silver lining — a cross-platform file storage and sharing system you can use to sync files between all of your computers. You could have plug-ins in Office that let you save to two places simultaneously, your Dropbox for work and your hard drive for storage.

Rumours of a Zune phone similar to the iPhone are also common these days. The best advice I could give Microsoft on that would be to copy the iPhone as closely as possible, partner with better telecommunications companies than Apple did, and then beat Apple on price and value. What will sell a Zune phone are things like always free text messaging, flat rate unlimited data plans, and competitively-priced talk plans.

Maybe Microsoft should also rethink the Zune name after this latest debacle with the 30GB models — who wants their phone to mysteriously freeze up at midnight on Dec. 31?