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Dennehys' Dream

Whistler couple completes cross country odyssey raising funds and hope for mental health projects

Hundreds of people bike across Canada every year — a rite of passage, a trip of goodwill, on a mission to spread one message or another.

Kerry and Ginny Dennehys' cross-country journey this summer to raise money and awareness for mental health was different, for in a way it was a collective journey, with Whistler on board.

Whistler, their community, which has stood behind the Dennehys for more than a decade, opening wallets, sharing in their sorrow, believing in their cause, followed their moving milestones through Kerry Dennehy's candid and, at times, poignant blog on Pique Newsmagazine's website.

Called Enough is Enough, the Dennehys set out on their mission, raising about $2 million for the Kelty Patrick Dennehy Foundation. One million dollars of that came this week when Whisler couple Andy and Cheryl Szocs committed the funds to Enough is Enough.

"I feel one of our strongest areas where we can all make a difference in reducing the stygma of depresssion," said Andy.

Though the ride ended when the Dennehys dipped their toes in the Atlantic on Aug. 11, the finale comes today when they roll into Whistler on August 29.

Pique relives the journey to get here, and what Kerry and Ginny learned about Canada, about Canadians, about each other, and about their dream.

The Route

Excerpt from Kerry's blog:

We wanted to be as businesslike as we could, appearing in front of media and live audiences as much as possible, but we also wanted some Zen moments through the towering Rockies and the golden wheat fields of our prairies. Ginny and I have never been to Quebec City, I have never been to Ottawa, and neither of us have been through New Brunswick, PEI or Newfoundland, so the trip will marry toiling for a great cause, reducing the stigma and educating society on mental illness, with a big dose of Canadiana, cycling through what is without a doubt the best country on earth.

Staring up at a steep and daunting pass in the Rockies, not even out of British Columbia with the rest of Canada looming forever eastward, 60-year-old Ginny Dennehy sat on her bike and wondered how she was ever going to do it.

The hill was too steep. Too hard, she sighed. She wasn't fit enough. Hadn't put in enough hours training.

What was she doing out here, on this lonesome saddle, the unforgiving blacktop yawning endlessly ahead?

And, more importantly, how was she going to get up this hill?

Despair threatened, lurking on the edge. Always lurking.

Easy, to succumb to the fears, the self-doubt, to give in.

Infinitely harder to carry on.

Ginny turned to the only place to get solace and strength — her children — Kelty, forever 17, Riley, forever 23.

"I said to Kelty and Riley 'I need your help. I need your help.'

"And you know, ever since I said that I never had a difficulty going up a hill again. I just kept going and going. And I got stronger and stronger and stronger every day."

"I was with them the whole time."

Kelty and Riley were the very reason why the Dennehys were on their bikes in the first place. It was for them that Ginny and Kerry were riding across Canada, raising money and awareness for mental health issues and prompting discussions in the hope of generating a new way of thinking about the disease, with a goal to erase the stigma associated with it.

Over those 8,000 kilometres through snow, seemingly ceaseless rain, pelting hail, and fast bluebird days, from Whistler to Cape Spear, Newfoundland, Kelty and Riley were never far.

They never are, though Kelty died in 2001, Riley in 2009.

Their names are etched in ink on their dad Kerry's arms, one on each side.

"I had them riding with me and I thought about that a lot," recalls Kerry.

"I thought: what would they be thinking about us going across the country and doing all this for them?

His answer?

"You just feel that they'd be honoured and that they would be pleased that we are not forgetting them. And that, even in a way, that they're not gone. They live on."

Day 97 or Day 4:

On the return trip home

As the afternoon progressed we listened to John Mayer and for me it always brings back memories. That was one of Riley's favourite albums. We would listen to it together. As I remembered back to those times with tears in my eyes I once again reflected on the enormous journey we have just completed...not only physically but mentally and emotionally.

'CHOOSING HOPE'

Kelty committed suicide when he was 17 years old.

He had been battling the ups and downs, the terrifying lows of depression for a year.

One winter's morning, early March in 2001, the good-looking, smart, hockey-playing teen, who had, it seemed, everything to live for, took his own life.

In an instant, the Dennehys became one of the statistics in the epidemic of teenage suicide.

Life would never be the same.

They created the Kelty Patrick Dennehy Foundation to prevent depression related suicide in young people and worked tirelessly to raise more than $5 million for that cause.

Then, in 2009, the unimaginable happened.

Their daughter Riley who was then 23, died while travelling in Thailand. She had a heart attack after taking strong pain medication for a separated shoulder.

This is the Dennehys' story.

It's not the whole story, — not by far.

But it's the genesis of how they found themselves going across Canada.

This summer that very private and painful story of their lives was told and retold in 36 rallies across the country, in private meetings, in small gatherings.

In some, only a handful of people turned out. But at others, more 200 people turned out.

"The reception from people we got was amazing," says Kerry. "It was more than we ever imagined. The number of people that are touched by mental illnesses, whether they've lost someone directly in their lives, or whether they just know somebody, it's incredible.

"I'm convinced after my trip that it's more prevalent than alcoholism, for sure."

Don't doubt for a second, however, that retelling that story over and over in towns across the country didn't take an emotional toll on the Dennehys.

It showed Kerry just how strong his wife is, not just physically but mentally too.

"Because every time she tells the story about Choosing Hope, that's what the book is called, she has to retell the story about losing Kelty and then losing Riley. That story brought tears to her eyes every time she talked about it," he recalls. "To see her do that, and pay that price if you like, because some people don't talk about it. To see her pay that price every time is very moving and it moved people. It moved people. I think it moved both of us that so many people came forward and shared their stories, their tragic stories a lot of times, about losing somebody."

For Ginny, that emotional cost was worth it if it gave others hope.

"I feel that by telling the story sometimes it can open up the whole thing so that then it maybe will allow other people to realize that... depression isn't something that happens to bad people, or to bad families, or to bad parents, or whatever," she says.

"It's something that can happen to any of us. And that's why we need to pay attention to this disease."

Day 28: A Cordial Reception in Wolseley

After our tour and hot showers we were invited by the Mayor and his wife to join local residents Shar and Ken who lost their beautiful son Sean Patrick to suicide because of his bi polar illness, just a month ago, for dinner at the Chinese cafe in town. I think they took comfort in meeting us and hopefully some strength to move forward in their journey. Wonderful people who no doubt cherished the time, albeit too short, with their son. After a great feed compliments of the kind mayor, we skipped across the street to hone our pool game and catch the last period of the playoffs.

THE JOURNEY

Aside from the emotional strain of the journey, there was the physical. And the chance of a lifetime to see Canada up close and personal, in "slow-mo" as the Dennehys call it.

"Being high in a bike seat so you can look down a canyon and smell and the animals coming across the road, I swerved to miss a black bear one day, saw a grizzly, and lynx and moose, elk and deer," says Kerry.

While he blogged a lot about the weather elements that plagued them, Kerry was also quick to point out that there were a lot of bluebird, fast, dry days with the wind at their back. Time to get lost in their thoughts.

Nothing better, too, than "being one" with the bike, embracing the physical challenge and rising to meet it.

"Kerry and I wanted to set an example, that no matter what you set out to do, you can do it," says Ginny. "It's just one pedal at a time. You've just got to keep consistent. You've just got to believe in yourself and you've just got to know that you can do it.

"I'm not a marathon athlete like Clara Hughes, or anything like that. I'm just a normal 60 year-old woman who's getting up the hill!

"It's like anything else in life," says Ginny. You may not be able to choose what happens to you but that's when you have to dig deep and find the strength to believe that you can choose in hope, so that you can go on."

Day 74: Riding the Dragon's Tail in Fredericton

As soon as you climbed a hill, you descended and immediately started climbing again. The ascents although mostly gradual, were very long. Whistlerites, we're talking at least two Furry Creek climbs. Fortunately, the pins were up for the task and all the training and hard work we had done to this point had turned us into road warriors. The legs trumped any pain and the lungs handled the cardio. It's amazing what the old bod can do if it gets some firm direction. We are proud of our accomplishments today and I am very impressed with my girl's fortitude and grit. You don't want to get into an Indian leg-wrestling match with either one of us.

The Dennehys travelled with their nephews — Keenan and Quinn — as support crew.

Being around "the kids" was reminiscent of having Kelty and Riley with them, another special aspect of the trip.

Living in cramped 300 square foot quarters day-in and day-out for three months however can be wearisome.

"Three men and myself, that was a challenge," laughs Ginny.

Compare blog entries on Day 13 to the entry 60 days later. All part of the journey.

Day 13: Deserved Relaxation, Banff

On another front the journey has been a blast. Sure, peddling up through the Rockies is a grunt, but what goes up tucks down at upwards of 65-70 km per hour. Our bodies and machines are working like a Swiss train. The road dawgs as we call them (my nephews Quinn and Keenan Dennehy from Whitehorse), and us, get along great. We are like a moving Las Vegas electronics show, with iPods, iPads, computers, walkie talkies, Hero head and bike cams, lights, and more. It is glory to be in our RV Starship, our moving motel, our home on wheels. We sleep like babies and prepare the gourmay-est of meals. We have great sounds and lots of storage, a tank that fills up around $400 and a tow car in case we need to break ahead to set uparally or hustle groceries.

Day 73: Peeling back the onion

Whether it's different standards of safety, not securing the bike on the rack well enough, taking the wrong road, playing the music too loud, or not doing your share, it doesn't take years of practice to be a critic. Given three months together, disagreements are inevitable.

And there are the other challenges that any biker knows all too well — sharing the road.

Day 43: Biting into Ontario

The weather is reminiscent more of Newfoundland than Ontario: misty, dank and cool. The road is again a concern, with shoulders as narrow as a foot in spots and plenty of semi traffic. Most drivers are charitable, pulling way out when passing, but some are oblivious. I caught up with one auto carrier who passed within a couple of feet of me at a truck stop ahead and gave him a bit of my Irish Ire. Maybe he'll give the next cyclist a wider birth.

THE FUTURE

Perhaps more than anything Enough is Enough reinforced for the Dennehys that mental health issues are widespread and pervasive from coast to coast.

They are not alone. They have become what Kerry calls "experts by default."

People ask: how do you go on when you've lost two children? How do you find the will to fundraise and tell your story over and over and over again? How do you stay together through it all?

"You learn a lot about yourself because you learn to answer those questions," says Kerry. "You learn that life is certainly not a bed of roses for a lot of people. A lot of people have challenges and look to us to give hope. So, we have to have hope ourselves. And that was a big part of our message."

Yes, at times it is overwhelming — the sorrow, the missing parts of their lives, the new dream, so different from how they pictured their lives.

Ginny and Kerry celebrated their 33rd wedding anniversary on tour.

Day 41: Kenora at our backs. We take on Lake Superior

We polished off a tasty dinner and were coaxed by the proprietors into their special finale: homemade almond roca ice cream (best we've ever had.) All in all not a bad way to celebrate our 33rd wedding anniversary. As we closed out the evening we agreed that we would not have wished to be anywhere else or with anyone else on this special day. YYYYYiiiiiiiiiiPPPPPeeeeeeee!!!!!!

The stats show that most marriages don't make it through what they've been through together.

The Dennehys are closer than ever.

Ginny puts it down to the deep underlying faith and love in each other.

"I don't think I could have ever survived this without Kerry," says Ginny simply.

And so, they carry on. Choosing Hope. One pedal stroke at a time. One mountain climb after another.

"You just can't sit back and do nothing," says Ginny. "It's just not the right thing to do. There are too many people out there. You've just got to help these people as much as you possibly can."

The Kelty Mental Health Resource Centres

Kelty's name in B.C. is now synonymous with mental health issues... and with hope.

The Dennehys would like to see Kelty's name hold the same meaning nationwide.

The Kelty Mental Health Resource Centre is located at BC Children's Hospital, a place to find professional help, information on mental health, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, eating disorders and more, a place to learn about options for treatment and tips for self-help.

In B.C. alone it is estimated that 140,000 children and youth experience mental health disorders.

The Kelty centre is accessible from anywhere in the province — free, actual and virtual at keltymentalhealth.ca.

Another Kelty centre is slated for the Hope Centre at Lions Gate.

Kerry said they hope to also be a part of the new $82 million Joseph and Rosalie Segal Family Health Centre at Vancouver General Hospital.

The foundation is also working on grants for three more Kelty Centres — in Calgary, Toronto and Winnipeg.

The Enough is Enough bike ride campaign was to kick-start the dream of seeing a Kelty Mental Health Resource Centre in every province across the country. Whether that is a physical place like the one at BC Children's, or a virtual place, remains to be seen.

"There's a lot of really great resources out there but everybody seems to be doing their own thing," says Ginny. "Somehow we have to take all the best practices that are going on across Canada and we all have to use them as opposed to everybody reinventing the wheel and doing their own programs..."

The Dennehys have also created a yoga scholarship in Riley's name — the Riley Dennehy Breathe Fore Life Yoga Teacher Training Scholarship Program.

Kerry says: "In a way, no, they're not here physically but their spirit lives on and we need their names to represent something so that it's a beacon of hope for other people."



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