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Feature - Opening up on bullying

New Safe School Survey shows it’s an issue at Whistler Secondary

Twenty per cent of students at Whistler Secondary are called names and teased at least once or twice a week, if not daily, according to this year’s Safe School Survey, completed this week.

And 10 per cent of students are hit, pushed or physically hurt in some other way, everyday.

Despite these findings Whistler Secondary is by no means a problem school, and the survey results mirror the experience of many other schools.

Nearly all the students feel safe in class, walking the halls, in the washrooms and around the school grounds.

But bullying is still present, with more than a quarter of students feeling it is at least an occasional problem.

"One of the areas of concern is amongst Grades 7 to 9... where there seems to be an increase in bullying and intimidation for boys in that age group," said the high school’s new principal, Ken Davies. This reflects a trend throughout the province, he added.

"We need to be aware and develop processes to be proactive, as opposed to reactive, in our education with these youth as well as everyone else."

Davies is also probing youths about their understanding of the questions in the survey to make sure students didn’t include the physical "play" many kids act out in their replies.

This is the second Safe School Survey completed at the high school. The first one was done in January, 2001.

The results are similar, said teacher and Safe School Committee co-ordinator Gail Rybar.

"It’s not very different from last year," she said. "And it’s not all roses.

"It’s not a problem that will ever be gone because it is so much a part of youths finding themselves.

"The school needs to continue working at publicizing the ways in which students can inform teachers or administrators if something is happening.

"We also need constantly to reinforce what is acceptable behaviour."

The only way to combat bullying, which can range from name-calling and harassment to violent acts, is to learn about it, educate others, accept that it is a problem, and take action to stop it.

"Only two things are needed to stop (bullying): Awareness and involvement," said University of B.C.’s associate dean of education Shelley Hymel.

"First we have to admit there is a problem, and then we’ve got to get involved. It is a whole ‘village to raise a child’ thing."

Who doesn’t know kids who have been excluded from the crowd? They are not part of the in-crowd. They are not even part of the out-crowd.

They are not the jocks, the boarders, the fashion plates or even the smarty-pant geeks.

They are alone.

At Whistler Secondary the survey showed that five per cent of students eat lunch and spend breaks alone because they have no one to hang around with.

And 15 per cent say they are very unhappy or sometimes unhappy about being at school.

It is this social isolation, which many parents and adults never recognize, which can devastate youths.

Failure to do anything can have tragic consequences.

Hamed Natosh, 14, walked to the middle of New Westminster’s Patullo Bridge in March of 2000 and jumped. In his heart-wrenching suicide note he begged his parents to stop people from name-calling.

Reena Virk, 14, had the misfortune of being born unattractive. She was lured to her death by some of the same classmates who had bullied her all her life. On Nov. 14, 1997 her beaten body was found in the Gorge Inlet in suburban Victoria. Several youths were charged and convicted in her beating and murder.

The list of tragedies could go on and on. Bullying is not just "sticks and stones." It is the toxic taunting that nightmares are made of.

And, like other stages of growing up it is often hidden from adults and surrounded by a culture of secrecy.

"Adults do not see bullying," said Hymel who has been researching the behaviour for 20 years.

But researchers’ observations of children on playgrounds and in classrooms confirm that it occurs frequently; once every seven minutes on the playground and once every 25 minutes in the class. (Craig and Pepler 1997)

In the same study teachers witnessed the behaviour and intervened only once in every 25 occurrences.

The average bullying episode was 37 seconds, although one recorded episode lasted 37 minutes before anyone intervened.

Bullying is a problem for the bullies, the victims, and the communities they live in. Their aggression may persist into adulthood, leading to criminality.

Research suggests that 60 per cent of kids who are identified as bullies at age eight will have at least one criminal conviction by the time they are 24. Half of that 60 per cent will have two or more criminal convictions.

For those who are bullied year after year it can lead to lifelong stress and victimization.

What is bullying and who does it?

Generally bullying is considered to be the assertion of power through aggression. The bullies can acquire power over their victims in many ways: by physical size and strength, by status within the peer group, by knowing the victim’s weakness or by recruiting support form other children.

Many factors contribute to the behaviour said Hymel. Those include family life, temperament, age and peer groups.

"But, there is no one reason," she said.

"In fact that is one of the flaws of a lot of people who try to do work in this area. They think there is a simple solution.

"Peers matter. Peers in sight support (the bully)... just by virtue of them watching."

Hymel’s research found that in 85 per cent of bullying episodes the peer group formed an audience. Those watching found it exciting and it’s where many learn to bully others.

At Whistler Secondary 21 per cent of students quizzed in the Safe School Survey said they had stood and watched while another student was hit, kicked, pushed or punched, while 14 per cent stood and watched while another student was teased or called names.

"Schools contribute to (bullying) by not paying attention and turning their heads from it," said Hymel.

"Adults and society contribute to it by minimizing the degree to which it occurs and by ignoring the possibility that it is more extensive than they think.

"And the media contributes to it (by) totally normalizing and desensitizing kids to aggression."

Much of the bullying takes place in Grades 7 through 9. It’s a time in life when kids are desperate to fit in somewhere, anywhere.

It is also a time when kids have little understanding that bullying is morally wrong.

"Bullying hits a peak when kids are socially sophisticated, with a high need to belong, and heavy group dynamics with few moral sanctions against it," said Hymel.

These findings are mirrored in Whistler’s Safe School Survey, which will be available to parents. It found 27 per cent of youths in Grade 7 felt bullying was a problem, whereas kids in Grades 11 and 12 had little sense that it was an issue.

And just because a child has bullied successfully in the past doesn’t mean that will always be the case.

Hymel has seen bullies turn into victims and even friends turn against friends in order not to be excluded from "the group."

As individuals bullies may be nice, but collectively they can be lethal.

It is also important to remember that most bullies are unable to gain respect, make friends, or enjoy normal human relationships. In some ways they are victims too.

Who are the victims?

Just as there is no single type of person who bullies, there is no single victim-type.

The middle school years are the most dangerous for potential victims. The older a youth gets the less likely they are to be victimized.

It is estimated one in 10 B.C. children go to school in fear of being bullied.

"We have about 8-10 per cent of kids telling us that they’re victimized on a regular basis," said Hymel.

"We have 10-12 per cent telling us openly that they are bullying people on a regular basis.

"Think about it. There are 600,000 kids in the schools so that means there are 40,000 to 60,000 bullies and about the same number of victims. I mean that is huge."

Whistler’s Safe School Survey found there were pronounced differences between girls and boys and their experiences with bullying.

Thirty-two per cent of boys said they were physically hurt everyday or once or twice per week, compared to only 5 per cent of girls.

The same percentage of boys did the hitting, kicking or pushing.

Sixty per cent of boys said they had seen another student say mean things, tease, or call student names every day or once or twice per week, compared to 42 per cent of girls.

Youths who are bullied are often depressed, fearful, and lose interest in school. When pushed to their limits some turn on themselves, committing suicide; others retaliate, even murder.

In Taber, Alberta, a 14-year-old boy was bullied so badly he couldn’t go to school. He was constantly the butt of jokes, even in the community.

In April 1999 he got even. Armed and with deadly intent he returned to the school and shot dead a 17 year old and wounded another student.

What can be done?

Don’t pass the buck.

Researchers say everyone has a role to play in wiping out bullying: the family, the school, the community, and most importantly the kids themselves.

"If we can get kids to start thinking about it differently and get kids involved, that’s key," said Hymel.

"I think we should be doing major campaigns with the kids involved.

"If it is no longer cool to beat kids up then maybe it will stop.

"Bullying is about power and popularity. Popular kids are doing it as much, if not more, than anyone else. So it is hard to tell kids to stop bullying, and it is the wrong thing to do, when it is getting them all this power and status.

"...We (have to) change the tolerance level of kids so they won’t put up with this anymore."

One of the most important places to get that message across to kids is in school.

And kids at Whistler Secondary are hearing that message. The Safe School Survey found that a quarter of students would help a victim being physically assaulted, up from 19 per cent in the January survey. And 32 per cent, up from the previous survey’s 27 per cent, walked away, refusing to watch and therefore removing the power base of the bully.

Researchers also agree that schools with a stated code of behaviour, with consistent and supportive follow-through, can be successful in reducing bullying.

After the Reena Virk murder in 1997 the ministry of education launched several initiatives to stop bullying in schools. Many of the ideas included in the ministry’s programs have been adopted by schools across the province, including Whistler.

Whistler Secondary principal Ken Davies believes his school, which teaches Grades 7 through 12, is on the right track.

The school has a newly revised Code of Conduct, clearly outlining how students are expected to behave, and what will happen to them if they don’t stick to the rules. The code was introduced two years ago.

According to the Safe School Survey 78 per cent of students know the rules of the school and understand what types of behaviour are acceptable.

Only eight per cent think the rules are unfair and 53 per cent believe the rules are enforced in a "fairly fair" or "fair" way.

And, as of last year, each of the 350 students is given an incident report sheet at the beginning of the year which they can fill out and give to any teacher, counsellor, or administrator.

Last year there were two incident report sheets filled out by students which were investigated and dealt with, said Davies. The behaviour has not been repeated.

Some students prefer a less formal approach and chose to talk to peers, teachers, or even parents about what they see or experience, said Davies.

And that is fine.

The important thing, said the principal, who has taught and administrated schools in the Arrow Lakes, Surrey, and Delta, is to keep the lines of communication open.

"(Communication) breaks down barriers and removes the ‘us versus them’ scenario," said Davies, who spends as much time as he can in the halls and on school grounds talking, watching and listening.

"Kids feel that they are listened to and what the students have to say is being taken seriously and that they are respected. If you can develop that level within the culture of the school then you really are on sound ground for being able to make change and to stamp out things such as bullying and harassment."

But Davies has a ways to go according to the results of the Safe School Survey.

Only 2 per cent of students said they would tell an administrator about a problem. Eleven per cent said they would tell a teacher, while 65 per cent said they would tell a friend. Nineteen per cent said they would tell a parent.

If the problem were serious 56 per cent said they would tell a parent, 18 per cent said they would tell a friend, 14 per cent said they would tell a teacher, (down from 22 per cent in the previous survey), and 3 per cent said they would tell an administrator.

"(This) has to do with the whole realm of trust and also the underlying code that you don’t want to be perceived as snitching on one of your peers," said Davies.

"I think we need to do some things to address it so that it is made more comfortable for kids to come forward and know they will be treated in both a respectful and confidential manner.

"But we need to know in order to be able to address it. More often than not the school finds out through a parent."

Students are also taught about bullying in class and the Safe School Committee tackles the subject, along with other student concerns such as smoking, safety on the roads, and drugs and alcohol.

"If there is a problem we know where to go," said Hailey DeKraker, a member of the Safe School Committee and a Grade 12 student.

"The school has held assemblies to tell kids about the procedures in place and who and where to go if there is a problem."

DeKraker believes that bullying, while not acceptable, is part of life.

"I don’t think you will ever meet a person who hasn’t been teased," she said.

"Really, when you think about it, if you put a bunch of people with raging hormones in a high stress environment... in cramped quarters, then sometimes things goes wrong."

The important thing, said the teen, is to chose battles wisely and talk about it with someone, anyone.

"Your parents would love to have you talking to them," said DeKraker. "Your friends, relatives, teachers, there are so many people you can go to.

"If you don’t stick up for yourself it is going to boil inside. You are going to think of a lot of things that you wanted to say, and you are going to never say it, and it is going to be eating at you and that is not good.

"It is better to get it out in the open than just leave it inside making you feel sick."

Classmate Robyn Pratt knows how that feels.

"I never said anything," said the 16-year-old member of the Safe School Committee.

"When I was in Grade 5 and 6 I would go home and cry to my mom.

"You don’t want to be the one who ran off to the principal’s office... (because) unfortunately kids can be quite cruel."

Today, as a self assured young woman, Pratt’s approach to bullying has changed.

"If I were to see a bunch of Grade 7s going at a person I would say, ‘hey, that‘s not right,’" she said.

"But if (the bullies) are your age or older you need a more subtle approach... especially if you don’t know how the group of people around you are going to respond.

"If the person teasing... is really popular, and is likely the kind of person everyone agrees with no matter what, then you are really not going to have a high confidence level to say stop."

Pratt also believes talking about the behaviour is crucial.

"It’s important to tell people to stop the behaviour and also for self confidence. Bullying doesn’t do a lot for your self confidence in a positive way."

Whistler Secondary’s Parent Advisory Council, has produced a handbook for parents with information about what do to and where to go for help. The PAC also hopes to hold an information session on bullying in the new year.

Parents do feel that the school is tackling the issue, although more can always be done, said PAC chairwoman Maureen Richmond.

"We are a lot happier that things are being done," said Richmond who said parents were concerned at the result of the safe school survey last year.

"It was shocking that anyone said: ‘No, I don’t feel safe.’

"It wasn’t a huge percentage but it was shocking that there was anyone."

Richmond said the hope is that the new code of conduct, the incident report sheets, and a focus on behaviour is paying off.

"Hopefully it is making a difference with all of the kids," said Richmond.

"Particularly those who feel they are being harassed or victimized."



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