By Rob Brezsny
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Nineteenth-century English poet
Dante Gabriel Rossetti wrote a series of sensual sonnets inspired by his
relationship with his wife Elizabeth. Before he could publish them, Elizabeth
died. He was so distraught he placed the only copy of his manuscript in the
grave with her. Years later, though, he decided the love poems were too good to
consign forever to the oblivion of the dirt. He had the coffin disinterred and
recovered his work. I suggest you draw inspiration from this story, Aries.
Reclaim riches that you once abandoned or left for dead. Halloween costume
suggestions: grave-digger, archaeologist, miner, psychic medium who communes
with the spirits of the departed.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): "Jaws" is the most common
name for pet goldfish. Take your cue from this fun fact, Taurus. Identify the
mildest, tamest, most passive part of you, then push it in the direction of
becoming more daring, assertive, and courageous. If it helps to give that part
of you a nickname like "Jaws," by all means do so. Halloween costume
suggestion: a shark, Tyrannosaurus, dragon, or football player.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): A sizable proportion of Christians are
addicted to pornography, according to a poll conducted by a major Christian
website (www.christiannews.christianet.com). It that's true, it's dramatic
proof of what psychologists say: that we're prone to be unhealthily obsessed
and possessed by whatever we demonize. Meditate on how this theme might apply
to you, Gemini. Investigate whether you're being hurt by your scorn and anger
and hatred. And please note that I'm not advising you to protect yourself from
people or things you judge as bad, but rather from your attitudes about them.
Halloween costume suggestion: a fundamentalist porn star.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): In December 1984, comedian T. R.
Benker told jokes for 48 consecutive hours at a restaurant in Mount Prospect,
Illinois. Last year, Ethiopian oddball Belachew Girma laughed nonstop for 100
minutes at a club in Munich. These two chuckle-meisters are your role models,
Cancerian. Your assignment is to stimulate massive attacks of reeling merriment
and potent doses of sacred revelry as much as possible, both in yourself and
others. Halloween costume suggestion: a court jester who relentlessly doles out
compliments; a smirking prankster with angel wings and a halo; Santa Claus with
a bag full of joke gifts; Lucille Ball imitating Sara Silverman or vice versa.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Most flowers depend on pollinators to
reproduce. Birds and insects brush up against a flower's male parts, picking up
pollen that they leave on the female parts of the next flower they visit. But
nature has created an anomaly that doesn't play by these rules. A wild orchid
known as
Holcoglossum amesianum
fecundates itself. Its male bits actually move, carrying out a complicated
maneuver to reach around and down to deposit pollen directly into its female
portions. This orchid is your power symbol, Leo. I hope it encourages you to
learn more about self-fertilization--to increase your mastery of the
underappreciated art of inspiring and teaching and taking care of yourself.
Halloween costume suggestion: a hermaphrodite carrying a wild orchid.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): French author Andre Gide said,
"The color of truth is gray." Make that your watchword, Virgo. Resist
the temptation to fall in love with bright shiny red facts or alluring azure
maxims. Run like the wind from anyone who tries to sell you a story about good
guys in white hats versus bad guys in black hats. The more comfortable you are
with veracities that have the hue of dirty dishwater, the more likely it is
you'll see things exactly as they are, free of delusions and deceits. Halloween
costume suggestion: any elaborate, intricate getup, like a commedia dell'arte
character's outfit, that's all grey.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Chinese professor Cao Shizhong is
head of the Slanting Building Correction Research Institute. His company
specializes in straightening vertical structures that are tilting. He has
offered to fix Italy's Leaning Tower of Pisa, though not completely.
Recognizing that it's a tourist attraction, Shizhong doesn't want to make it so
upright that it'll lose its appeal to the curious. So he has offered to give it
the same mild slant it had when it was first constructed in 1350. Let's apply
this as a metaphor, Libra. I suggest that you
partially
rectify something that's slouching or lopsided in
your life. Don't be such a compulsive perfectionist that it loses its soulful
charm. Halloween costume suggestion: a beauty queen with a big pimple; a
superhero with a broken arm.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You're ready for take-off. It's time
to taxi to the launch location and prepare to go airborne. I suggest you do
what birds and airplanes do, which is to fly directly into the wind as you
leave the ground. As long as you're forcefully propelling yourself forward,
that will give you maximum lift. Oh, and flap your wings gracefully, not
frenetically. Don't stare at the ground right beneath you, but rather fix your
gaze on a distant point high above you. Halloween costume suggestion: eagle,
jet, hang-glider, dragonfly.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): About 7,500 people live on
Nauru, a coral atoll in the South Pacific. For years, their primary source of
income has come from bird droppings, from which they harvest and export
phosphates. I suggest you draw inspiration from their example, Sagittarius. Can
you think of any wastes you could cash in on? Might it be possible for you to
make money from something you think of as useless and messy? Is there some muck
that might actually turn out to be valuable if you only considered it from a
fresh perspective? Halloween costume suggestion: a plumber carrying a wad of bills;
a garbage man or garbage woman wearing a royal crown; a janitor sporting
shamanic accessories.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Thomas Paine was a zealous
insurrectionary. He wrote incendiary pamphlets that helped ignite and sustain
America's struggle for independence from Great Britain. Early in his life,
however, he worked making women's girdles, which are among the most
constrictive and oppressive garments in the history of the world. Do you think
there was a connection between his two gigs? Like maybe his later struggle for
liberation was an unconscious atonement for his youthful labors? That's my
hypothesis. In the coming week, Capricorn, I suggest you instigate a Thomas
Paine-like boomerang. Think of something you did in the past that constricted
your spirit or squeezed other people's possibilities. Use that memory as a
launching pad as you unleash a brilliant stroke in the name of abundance and
expansiveness. Halloween costume suggestion: freedom fighter.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Lightning strikes somewhere on the
earth 6,000 times every minute. A single bolt may carry a million volts and
reach a temperature of 50,000 degrees Fahrenheit. If this elemental force could
be tamed and utilized, it would provide enough energy to raise a cruise ship
six feet in the air. While you won't be able to literally harness a lightning
bolt in the coming week, Aquarius, you could accomplish the metaphorical
equivalent. At least temporarily, you have an uncanny talent for mobilizing
tremendous power that's normally too hot to handle. Halloween costume
suggestion: a relaxed, smiling lightning bolt.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): "Travel is fatal to prejudice,
bigotry, and narrow-mindedness," wrote Mark Twain. I'd add that it also
tends to dissolve dogmas, break bad habits, and flush away sterile theories
that haven't been tested by actual experience. These are all blessings I wish
for you right now, Pisces. I hope that as you wander free of your familiar
haunts, you'll have your mind completely blown, get shocked out of your limiting
beliefs about yourself, and be so electrified by the world's beauty that you
pretty much fall in love with everything and everyone. Halloween costume
suggestion: a tourist, nomad, sherpa guide, shaman, Ferdinand Magellan,
Sacagawea, Amelia Earhart.
Homework: Scare yourself with your own exquisite beauty. Freak yourself out by realizing how amazing you are. Testify at http://freewillastrology.com.