ARIES (March 21-April 19): I urge you to spend 2008 turning all
of your pretty good but half-developed notions into a few brilliant, fully
formed ideas. While you're at it, melt down your hundreds of wishy-washy wishes
and recast them into three driving desires. This is the Year of Pinpoint Aim,
Aries, also known as the Year of Lasering Your Focus and the Year of Seeing
with Fierce Clarity. Psyche yourself up for a major campaign to cut the crap so
the essence can shine.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): My sensitive poet friend Carson
taught criminals in a penitentiary how to write haiku poems. Novelist Margaret
Atwood gave a class on the absurdist writing of Franz Kafka to engineers in
British Columbia. And in 2008 I'll ask you to share your gifts with people
you've always assumed wouldn't be receptive to you, let alone be able to
benefit from your unique talents. Get ready to push past your boundaries in the
coming months, Taurus. Extend your sphere of influence and appeal to a larger
audience.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): As I approached a pick-up truck from
behind while out driving my car, I saw an unlikely bumper sticker. It said
"Surf Colorado." But Colorado is a landlocked place, I thought to
myself, more than a thousand miles from the ocean. At the next red light, I got
closer to the truck and was able to read the fine print: "In your river
kayak, you don't need an ocean to catch a wave." What a perfect message to
convey to my Gemini readers, I mused, and resolved to write it into this
horoscope. In fact, you are currently in a phase when you don't need an ocean
to surf. Nor, for that matter, do you need a plane in order to fly, a soulmate
to achieve romantic rapture, or money to be rich. Your imaginative powers are
peaking at the same time as your resourcefulness.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): "Dear Rob: Help! When I give
love I feel powerful but when I accept love I feel weak. So even though I
dearly crave love, when someone tries to give it to me I run away. I'm afraid
of the vulnerability that comes from being the recipient of the gift; I'm
afraid of being in debt to the person who's offering it; I'm afraid of the loss
of control that comes from not providing myself with everything I need; and I'm
afraid that if I accept love, I'll get addicted to it, and then how will I cope
if it goes away? What can I do? -Cowardly Crab." Dear Crab: In the coming
weeks, the universe will conspire to help you find new ways to think about
these riddles. You'll have tremendous access to the precise kind of courage you
need.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I want to call your attention to a scene
in the independent film
Autism: The Musical
.
Neal is a 12-year-old autistic boy who has never spoken a complete sentence,
not even to his beloved mother Elaine. He can barely form words. If you ask him
to say "bar," he'll say "rahb." Elaine brings him to a
therapist who guides autistic kids in using a machine that produces vocal
sounds corresponding to words the kids type on a keyboard. For the first time,
Neal's mom hears a message from her son: "Mom, I'm going to put you on the
spot. You need to do more listening." I expect you will soon experience a
metaphorically comparable event, Leo: A source you love will communicate with
you in a novel way. Be receptive. Listen hard.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In 1954, the writer Albert Camus
said, "A person's life purpose is nothing more than to rediscover, through
the detours of art or love or passionate work, those one or two images in the
presence of which his heart first opened." In the first month of 2008, a
humble astrology columnist, yours truly, used Camus' words to direct Virgos
towards one of their primary tasks in the year ahead.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): A few months ago I went to a costume
party on the Cruise Ship Ecstatic, which was docked in San Francisco Bay. The
theme was "The Ecstatic Muse: What is the future of your own
turn-on?" I recommend you make that your meditation in the coming weeks,
Libra. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you're overdue for a
rigorous inventory of your approach to creating rapture, bliss, and joy. If in
the course of your investigations you find you've been neglecting this
essential aspect of your physical and mental health, take dramatic steps to upgrade
your zeal. It's time to get more aggressive about feeling excited.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Internet pundit Ariana Huffington
realized she was working too hard when she got so exhausted she passed out and
broke her cheekbone on her desk. Resolved to give herself more slack, she
decided to carry just two Blackberries with her at all times instead of the
three that had been her constant companions. I request that you perform at
least two similar acts of self-care in the coming week, Scorpio. They could come
in the form of either eliminating complications, as Huffington did, or else
adding luxurious treats. For example, you might want to arrange to be massaged
in warm water by a team of charismatic healers singing you love songs and
lullabies.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Ask not what you can do for your
country; ask what your country can do for you. The same advice applies to your
relationship with your family, job, closest companion, circle of friends, and
favorite group. During this brief period when enlightened selfishness is the
wise thing to pursue, don't get caught up obsessing on how you can serve them.
Diplomatically request that they serve you.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): When Doris Lessing was informed
she'd won the Nobel Prize for Literature, she said, "I couldn't care
less." What prompted her to be so blasé about receiving the world's
foremost award for writers? Can you imagine what her state of mind was? I think
you'll be able to after this week, Capricorn. You're likely to get a major ego
stroke that isn't all that big a deal to you, mostly because you already know
how valuable you are and don't need external confirmation of that fact.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): While riding my bicycle through a
quiet neighborhood this afternoon, I saw two girls fiddling with the gate of a
tall wooden fence. They were frustrated because it wouldn't open and let them
inside. One kicked the gate. The other tried unsuccessfully to climb up to
reach down over the top to the latch on the other side. Finally, the younger
girl put her hand under the gate and managed to free some obstruction on the
other side. The gate opened. "I got it! I got it!" she yelled,
jumping up and down with exhilarated triumph. I foresee those words and that
emotion flying out of you soon when you, too, finally open a metaphorical door
that has been stuck.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The Prime Minister of Canada is
Stephen Harper, but the
Secret
Prime
Minister of Canada is... well, I can't tell you, can I, because then he or she
wouldn't be secret anymore, right? I can reveal this, though: The Secret Prime
Minister of Canada is working furiously behind the scenes to create a world in
which generosity, not fear, is the prime motivator — a world whose moral system
is rooted in beauty, love, pleasure, and liberation instead of control,
repression, propaganda, and profit. The Secret Prime Minister of Canada has a
special assignment for you to carry out in the coming months, Pisces. Are you
ready to become more of a leader than you've ever been before? Do you have the
courage to be an inspirational role model who motivates people through the
power of beauty, love, pleasure, and liberation?
Homework: What is the idea, feeling, or attitude you're most enslaved to? What can you do to escape your slavery? Go to FreeWillAstrology.com and click on "Email Rob."