January 07, 2000 Features & Images » Feature Story

I’m honoured. I’m speechless... almost 


Why Two Cay: Housing for the Millennium. Yeah, just another huckster’s dream up in smoke. The fear of having everything go kablooie at midnight overcame the desire to be played for a sucker by every quasi-legit businessman who thought we’d all be gaga to celebrate the changing of the numbers, and the marks, er, guests, stayed away in droves. It turned out the restaurateurs and hoteliers finally found the limits of the Greater Fool Theory. People will not pay $100 for a hotdog or $500 to sleep on a cot next to the mechanical room. Stupid peasants.

In the harsh light of working computer screens on January 1, people are asking themselves if Y2K was a hoax; after all, we collectively spent something like $300 billion dollars and nothing happened. This reminds me of a member of my extended family back in the southwest. She is long on heart and good deeds but short on what might be called smarts. Having paid an exterminator for a monthly visit to the family casa for, oh, maybe five years, she suddenly decided she was wasting money that could better be put to use elsewhere in the family budget. After all, she hadn’t so much as seen a cucaracha crawling around in her kitchen for, oh, maybe five years. Sure enough, two weeks after firing the bug man, the place was crawling and she was puzzled as ever.

But the most exciting news of the new year was not that nothing happened to hasten the end of the world or that Wal-Mart would take back all the extra flashlights everyone bought. The truly groundbreaking event was my selection as Best Replacement Mayor of Whistler in Pique’s Best of Whistler survey. I’m honoured. I’m speechless. I’d like to thank everyone who worked so hard for this victory, my mother without whose labour I wouldn’t be here, my... well, just everyone. I figure we’re not talking about a whole lot of votes here, but given the pathetic turnout at the last election, I’d say that’s in keeping with the true spirit of Whistler. So let’s not quibble.

I’m ready and available next time the Big Kahughna has to go visit his folks in Arizona or schmooze with the power brokers on the Sunshine Coast. And unlike others who seek elective office, I’ll be out front about how things would be different with Max as Replacement Mayor.

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