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The Maxies for 2004

Wow! What a year. Elections in Canada; elections in the USofA; the Great Cultural Rift; the kind of wackiness we’ve come to expect in B.C. and now the winter of no snow being saved by another Whistler Christmas present.

Wow! What a year. Elections in Canada; elections in the USofA; the Great Cultural Rift; the kind of wackiness we’ve come to expect in B.C. and now the winter of no snow being saved by another Whistler Christmas present.

With all that, there’s no time for long speeches. The vote is tallied, the envelopes are prepared. On with the Maxies.

The Bidniz of Bidniz is Bidniz Awards

Best On-Mountain Improvement: Well, could be the Flute expansion or it could be Peak to Creek. We’ll just have to wait for more snow to decide. But I suspect it’s actually the decision to leave the other West Side runs unmolested by those pesky summer groomers. Of course, keeping Dusty’s open all summer was pretty great too.

Best New Restaurant: The phoenix-like return of Southside Diner (née Deli) to the Creekside cuisine scene. I’m not sure what this says about Creek folk but I’m comforted to know we’re not screaming oyster people. Real food, real prices. Honourable mention to Pascal’s return at Le Gros. I missed the duck fat while you were gone, Pascal.

Best Sustainable Business Practice (no, really): Composting at Carney’s. Having cornered the market on Recycle, Owen’s goin’ after Reduce and Reuse with this very real example of sustainability. Honourable Mention: Whistler’s co-op auto initiative.

Worst Rumour That Could Only Be Worse If It Turns Out To Be True: London Drugs in the centre of Whistler Village. Why not just rip the heart out of the place, guys? Say NO to Stepford resorts and release me from these chains.

Bacon Saved Award: To all the skiers and boarders in the Lower Mainland and Washington who kept Whistler-Blackcomb from doing a Hindenburg impression last season. Thanks.

Close Shave Award: To the delightful Miss Amanda, Julie, Lisa, Barber Boy and the rest of the crew at Blackcomb Barber Shoppe for 10 years of good cuts at a good price.

Hey, What Else Can We Do With Them Award: To the overwhelming success of Whistler’s mountain bike park and an expansive future. Must be a bit like the folks at McDonald’s felt many years ago when they figured out they could serve breakfast.

Your Tax Dollars At Work Awards

The Sun Rises In the East Award: After considerable delay, it’s official. Whistleratics prefer infill housing to a new subdivision south of town or the other non-starter options. Even though it’s been "blended" by the spinmeisters, infill’s the overwhelming choice. Of course, with this council and administration’s penchant for form over substance, planning over action and mortal fear of being seen to actually be doing anything, we haven’t built a single infill unit and, surprise, none are on the immediate horizon.

Now Ya See Em’; Now Ya Don’t: Oh where, oh where have financial tools gone? Oh where, oh where can they be? Good thing we weren’t betting our future economic viability on those, eh? We weren’t, were we?

The Annals – or is that Anals – of Sustainability: How to torture a word into irrelevance? Approve the Segway project. Approve their request for a larger project next year. Hell, make the damn machines mandatory. Toss in a Sea-Doo or two. Grow your boundaries. Mistake a preamble for an action document. Not bad; not bad at all.

Welcome to Paradise, Seekers: The Whistler Chamber of Commerce floats its $38 "locals" card. For, let’s see, what the average barista might make in five hours of hard work, she can buy a card that’ll save her some dough when she patronizes local businesses instead of taking her money out of town. I’m speechless. I’m not sure we deserve such largesse.

Think Of It As a Big Present: A shared award for the movers and shakers behind the Delta Whistler Resort’s 40,000 square foot, 70-100 bed unit expansion sweetheart of a deal. I’d have included this in Sustainability but no one would have believed it.

Government In-Action Award: No, not the CSP. True, it’s deserving but this year’s In-Action award goes to the on-going Governance Review. In a rocky start, the Insiders opted not to hire an outside facilitator. Go figure. The plan was due in April… then July… then the fall…. Now? They don’t call it In-Action for nothing.

Justice is Blind… And Stupid Award: Seemed like this would be the Svend Robinson decision in a walk. But then Todd Bertuzzi snuck up behind it, smacked it to the ice and got off with a conditional discharge. Hard to beat a hat trick like that.

Special Achievement Awards

Pyrrhic Schmeric – Ya Win Some; Ya Lose Some: To Keith Lambert who, in a Goliath vs. Goliath battle scored a big win against Nita Lake Lodge only to have defeat snatched from the jaws of victory when Victoria pulled the old Municipalities Enabling and Validating Act rabbit out of the hat. No reason to let a little thing like the justice system get in the way of progress now, is there?

The Monty Burns Block Out The Sun Award: For the newest hotel at the corner of Village Gate and Blackcomb Way. Remember when the sun shone on our Remembrance Day ceremonies? Wonder how hard it is to move a cenotaph?

Party Crasher of The Year: Take one 32-year-old stockbroker. Add copious amounts of alcohol, a $10,000 bet, a Big Air jump and porous security. Mix well and watch the slapstick as Dumbo proves Newton’s Law of Gravity. Priceless.

Grace Under Fire Award: To my Perfect Partner who suffered not only the indignity of a surprise birthday party but a surprise engagement and wedding… all within the space of about 20 minutes. "The bride wore a dumbfounded expression," wrote Bob Barnett. Still the single best line ever written about a wedding.

Best Literary Trend: Doggie obits in Pique. The bigger, the better. As Zippy the Dog says, "Woof, woof."

He Ain’t Hairy, He’s My Brother: To Michael Allen for his tireless pursuit of ursine knowledge. The bears are better off for you being here as are we all. Keep up the good work.

Starry, Starry Night: FRODO, as good a dog name as there ever was but, in this case, being Friends of the Dark Outdoors, for shedding light on the rapidly disappearing night sky. Could be worse. At least we don’t have high-rises.

Happy Birthday to Us: Pique turns 10. Despite all odds, despite the lean years, the defections, the in-fighting, and the arm twisting, and the occasional lawsuit – sorry ’bout that – the Barnetts’ crazy idea made it to adolescent double digits. You like us; you really like us.