Maxed Out 

A heroic effort from the West Side

Page 2 of 3

Dave was, in fact, Johnny-on-the-spot last week when his neighbours’, Rob and Jan Burgess, garage caught fire. Ignoring grave personal peril, he rushed into their home, swiped their car keys, threw himself into the fires of Hades and drove their car to safety, thereby preventing a certain explosion that would have, in the words of one of Whistler’s firefighters, "…lit up the homes on West Side Road and made the burning Iraqi oil fields look like a Girl Guide weenie roast." Or words to that effect.

Ever effacing, Dave played down his heroics. "Weren’t nothing. I was just concerned Rob’s stash, er, car might catch before the fire department got here. Anyone who knew how to break into their house woulda done the same thing."

Asked about his run for the mayor’s office, Dave responded in typically modest fashion, "That’s bullshit. I’m not running for mayor."

What a kidder, folks.

I caught up with Dave the other day and was able to ask him some questions about his nascent run for office.

Max: Hey Dave, nice job with the fire. What a hero.

Dave: You’re not going to write anything about that, are you?

Max: Not if you don’t want me to.

Dave: I don’t.

Max: Okie dokie. What about running for mayor?

Dave: I’m not running for mayor, you moron.

Max: Whatever. So tell me about the NEP’s party platform. Do you have positions on, say, affordable housing and financial tools, things like that?

Dave: I don’t have a party platform. I have a party barge, as you know, and many a hare-brained scheme has been launched on the tranquil waters of Alta Lake.

Max: So what you’re saying is it’s too early to formalize a party platform; you have to feel out the voters on what’s important to them. That’s very astute, Dave.

Dave: I’m not running for mayor. How many times do I have to tell you?

Max: Right. So, Dave, is it true you said on the campaign trail that one of the most pressing matters and the single biggest scandal at Muni Hall was paying the administrator an additional $1.2 million bucks over the next five years to be "our man" on VANOC, a move I believe you termed a deal with the devil because the reform wing of council didn’t have the votes to oust him any other way?

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