I would just like to make one thing perfectly clear from the outset. The following is the entire inventory of my pockets: one small Swiss army knife, a threat only to airline security; eighty-six cents in change; a crumpled and surprising 20 dollar bill; three business cards; two notes to myself; one physio receipt; one emergency dogpoop bag; and… that’s it.
There are not now, nor have there ever been, any councillors in my pockets. Nary a sign of the mayor either. I may have felt various of their fingers in there at one time or another but I’ve never had anyone with bylaw-making, tax-relief granting, official celebrity week naming or other local legislative powers in any of my pockets.
Just to be aboveboard though, I have given various of them rides in my car. But I have never let them drive and I wouldn’t think of letting them choose the radio station… not that there’s much choice but it’s a matter of principle.
That having been said, on to business.
I would like to, humbly, request a five-year tax break on my newly-purchased Whistler Housing Authority home. I’m not entirely sure what my property taxes are going to be but I’m pretty certain they’re not going to be anywhere near $150,000 to $200,000 a year. If they are, I’m in serious trouble. Actually, if they are, we’re all in serious trouble.
I believe I have a very strong case for being granted tax relief. The recently-amended Community Charter apparently gives local governments the power to grant such relief for companies undertaking major improvements.
“Ah-ha!” I hear you exclaim. “You’re no company.”
I’m hurt. Deeply hurt. There are those, admittedly fringe, who find me very good company. A little overbearing at times, possibly even borderline insensitive, but in a pinch, I’m there for them. And you.
Let’s not split hairs here. If I need to be a company, I’ll companize: Max Ltd. Satisfied?
I think it’s abundantly clear I’ve undertaken major improvements. I just sunk nearly 300 large of my own — not investors’, I’d like to make perfectly clear — dough into my WHA home. Okay, you caught me; that’s an overstatement. It was actually nearly 300 large of my and my Perfect Partner’s dough. We’ll amend the company charter: Max & Perfect Partner Ltd.
Now you may argue I’m the only one receiving the benefits of that rather large, by personal standards, capital expenditure. But you’d be wrong. Here’s a short list of those who’ve directly benefited by this investment: Royal Bank, who provided sundry financial services; the lawyer who made sure I didn’t get screwed; the builder; the trades who worked on my place; Home Hardware where I wander aisles aimlessly searching for various hardware; Husky who gassed my move; Anna’s Attic where I found some furniture — see, this is a corridor-wide project —; whoever moves into the very nice suite I’ve vacated; whoever moves into the lesser-nice suite they vacate; whoever moves into the festering hole they vacate; council itself, who look like champions for finally getting some new WHA housing built and occupied; and, last but not least, Whistler as a whole who now has additional, long-term social infrastructure paid for by Max & Perfect Partner Ltd.
Quite an impressive list, eh?
While my modest new home may lack “… spectacular impact on our resort globally,” and will undoubtedly not draw any additional skier visits, I think there’s a bigger picture here. Or, maybe that’s a smaller picture.
It is not stretching anyone’s imagination to say ski magazines help shape skiers’ decisions about where to spend a ski holiday. I could cite survey after survey and wow you with statistics along the lines of “…73.4 per cent of skiers say their choice of ski resort was quite strongly influenced by magazine articles they’d read about that resort,” but that would seem like needless grandstanding.
Let’s just say that while I might not be able to speculate — speculate being the operative word here — about how many of Whistler’s tourists have been drawn here by the very flattering portraits I’ve painted in the many, many magazine stories I’ve written about the resort over the years, I feel like I’m on pretty solid ground in saying the number is somewhere between quite a few and a lot. That may not boost room nights by 5 per cent but let’s not lose sight of the fact I’m asking for a commensurately smaller amount of tax relief. This is no six-figure deal we’re talking about.
I think it’s also pretty clear Max & Perfect Partner Ltd., really needs this tax break to realize an adequate investment return. True, the single-asset condo owned by Max & Perfect Partner Ltd., doesn’t take into account the income my Perfect Partner and I make in our other revenue-generating ventures — such as they are — but clearly there’s precedent in carving off a single asset in a multi-asset environment and looking at it on a stand-alone basis. I mean, jeez, you have any idea what kind of liability we’d be looking at if someone hurt themselves on our, er, the limited company’s property? Max & PP Ltd. provides liability protection in the event of a slip and fall or… well, the disaster scenarios are almost limitless.
So that’s my case. I’m not asking much. Saying no won’t jeopardize the very close and loving relationship I have with our mayor and council. I won’t get all pissed off and take my investment money somewhere else if I’m declined.
But hey, where’s the equity in saying no?
The fact is, council’s decision to grant Intrawest, oh, excuse me, Peak 2 Peak Ltd., a five year, million smacker tax holiday isn’t the worst decision they’ve ever made. The gondy-in-the-sky project will last much longer than five years and pay taxes for many years after the holiday’s over.
But the optics stink. They stink because Intrawest has had a hard-on to build the thing anyway and would have sooner or later. They stink because council is really going to look like they’re in the company’s pocket when they turn down requests from other companies for the same relief. They stink because Intrawest is the last company in town who needs tax relief.
Having said that, I’m only mildly disappointed at council. I’m more disappointed at Intrawest or Whistler-Blackcomb or Fortress or whomever decided to come, hat-in-hand, begging for this handout. You should’a had more class than that. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. The argument that you need this to make the return on the gondola — viewed solely as a stand-alone company — is disingenuous at best. The company and its upstream companies, and, particularly, its owners, simply don’t need the relief. Asking for it cheapens your image in the community, compromises council and casts an unpleasant aroma over the whole town.
This deal stinks.
