Maxed Out 

The myth that we care


Enough already. I’m tired of being preached to about climate change, global warming, thinning ozone, and living a sustainable life. It’s a scam. A scam and a fraud. There is no global warming. Climate change is just a myth. Well, maybe not a myth but certainly as natural as the law of gravity. After all, change happens. Without change, we’d all be protozoa swimming around in the primordial ooze. Stop whining.

The evidence against global warming, the evidence against catastrophic climate change is everywhere. All you have to do is look around you to see it.

I see the evidence every morning when I walk past the Husky station and Southside Diner. Every bay at the Husky is full of big trucks and big SUVs. In the bed of every big truck is a big snowmobile, maybe two if they’ve got one of those nifty articulating platforms that make loading easier. Behind every SUV is a trailer with one or two more snowmobiles.

Scurrying around the big trucks, big SUVs and big snowmobiles are earnest young men, men who came of age in the Age of Environmental Enlightenment. Earth Day babies who were born long after Rachel Carson warned us of the coming silent spring, long after the first OPEC oil shock, long after Stewart Brand published that marvelous picture of Earth from the Moon on the cover of the Whole Earth Catalog. They’re filling the big trucks and big SUVs up with gasoline. They’re filling the big snowmobiles — powerful two-stroke sleds, none of those pussy four-stroke jobs — with gasoline. They’re filling extra gas cans with gasoline.

Then they’re driving across the street to fill themselves with hearty breakfasts while they plan the day’s strategy. The work those earnest young men have to plan is very important. Somewhere in the backcountry around Whistler there exists a myth more powerful than the Holy Grail awaiting discovery. The perfect slope. The perfect cornice. The perfect drop. The line so perfect it has never before been captured on film or digital video being dropped, shredded and schussed by cool young dudes on skis and snowboards. A slope just crying out to be high-marked. An avalanche just waiting to be triggered and captured for that insatiable DVD or YouTube market. Fame. Glory. Celebrity.

Unless, of course, they’re just heading into the backcountry to burn up some gas and have a blast. That’s okay too, obviously.

Now how could a Chicken Little enviroweenie run around crying about global warming and climate change and falling sky in the light of such evidence? Surely the earnest young dudes with all the environmental sensitivity they’ve grown up with wouldn’t be mindlessly blasting around, bringing on global warming — which, after all, would kinda screw the pooch, skiing and snowboardingwise, wouldn’t it? — just for the hell of it. Would they?

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