Maxed Out 

The Pod People strike again

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The more you pay attention to politicians the more you realize Invasion of the Body Snatchers was a political movie. Ostensibly a sci-fi flick about alien invaders who replace humans with lookalike Pod People - sorry Steve - with the intention of taking over humanity, perhaps so they could enjoy fast cars, fast food and cold beer, none of which they ever seem to have on invading aliens' home planets, the Podsters give themselves away by their utter lack of emotion and their single-minded, cold-hearted approach to accomplishing their task.

Sound like anyone you know?

Little Stevie Hapless, prime minister of all Canadians - at least those living west of Ontario - has long been suspected of being a PP. Emotionless to the point of being inert, Stevie goes about the business of remaking Canada in his alien image with an aura of detachment and plasticity that makes Barbie seem warm and human. His expressionless face, Pillsbury Doughboy shape and Ken doll hair belie a coldly calculating mind, seemingly bent on seeking out and destroying threats to the body politic, whether coming from within or without. As with powder days, there are no friends in Podworld.

Having surrounded himself with others transformed similarly, notably Peter "The Weasel" MacKay, several top-ranking military men, a phalanx of yes-men civil servants, they've closed ranks to seek out and destroy one who just wouldn't complacently fall asleep and be absorbed, Richard Colvin.

Seemingly immune to the conforming powers of the Pod, Mr. Colvin, who served 17 months as a diplomat in the cesspool known as Afghanistan and who is currently posted to the Canadian embassy in the U.S., has not only failed to assimilate, he's committed the ultimate PC sin: he's spoken truth to power.

The truth he spoke was that Canadian forces - long basking under the umbrella of peaceful policemen - had rounded up Afghanis in seemingly wholesale fashion and turned them over to Afghan security forces. Afghan security forces, having only a passing and somewhat incomplete understanding of the modern concept of rule of law, went all medieval on the detainee terrorist farmers and tortured them. Quelle surprise.

Not satisfied to state the obvious, Mr. Colvin went on to say Canada was complicit in this torture because we - our soldier representatives - knew, okay, maybe strongly suspected or at least had heard well-placed rumours, that torture was indeed the fate awaiting the transferred terrorist tailors. Quelle surprise.

Had he stopped there, he would have simply been an enemy of the Pod who had to be silenced. But he didn't. He described how those up the chain of command showed indifference to his reports outlining this un-peacekeeperlike activity and how that indifference turned into obstruction and attempts to shut him up. Quelle surprise.

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