Maxed out 

Searing answers to burning questions


It's nice to see a small segment of the Canadian public hasn't entirely lost the use of their curiosity gene. Time to answer some burning questions piling up in my inbox.


Dear Max:

Why are you so negative on the Olympics? It's not helping, you know.

Your friend, Quatchi

Dear Fuzzball:

Thank you for your kind letter; I've taken the liberty to correct your spelling mistakes. Image is everything, you know.

I think the more accurate question - not that I'm intending to dodge your question like some kind of politician or corporate hack - might be, "Why is 99.999 per cent of the media so sycophantic about the Olympics that they seem to have completely blurred the line between journalism and copywriting?" The simple answer to that question is, swag. Most of them will do anything for a free jacket, a VIP pass or an official Olympic keychain.

Job security plays a role as well. Editors and publishers don't like mean-spirited phone calls and e-mails from cottonheaded readers, advertisers, politicians and Olympic officials threatening reprisals, lawsuits or pulled advertising, all things that seem to ensue when writers stray from happymeal Olympic stories.

Besides, don't you think complaining about my Olympic bias is, well, kind of spoilsport for such an up and coming goalie? I mean, for starters, who's going to read what I have to say, other than the thousands of tourists who filter through town and the tens of thousands who will actually be here during the Olympics? A handful of disgruntled locals upset because they have to take the bus and can't park right next to where they work? Some quaint, archaic people who read books and thought public libraries were built with taxpayer money for... the public?

Let's face it, my laments are a small drop in a large ocean of oh-golly-gee-whiz, aren't the Olympics just the grandest thing on Earth journalism. Do you really want to shut up everyone who hasn't drunk the Kool-Aid? On reflection, I guess that may sound like a rhetorical question to you. Of course you do.

As for what I write not helping, it helps me. And it's a sight cheaper than therapy.

Write again anytime; I really liked reading the crayon.


Dear Max:

Prime Minister Harper has porogued parliament. What does this mean?

Numbed in Nunavut

Dear NiN:

I think you mean he's prorogued parliament, though I have to admit, I like your spelling better.

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