Notes From the Back Row 

Clash fun but forgettable

I, for one, was kind of hoping Whistler would have found a way to work a digital 3D projector in amongst our Olympic legacies (especially since anyone with a credit card can go pick up a new 3D television for just a few grand). The good news is that this Friday's Clash of the Titans remake is the one flick you really don't need to see in 3D because it was shot in 2D and the third dimension was added afterwards as a cash grab. For this one, Whistler's old-school 2D projectors will be just fine.

Speaking of old school, the original Clash of the Titans came out in 1981 and is memorable for the wicked-awesome stop-motion beasts created by effects legend Ray Harryhausen. This version, directed by Louis Leterrier (Transporter 2, The Incredible Hulk) is all motion capture and CGI and while being far less memorable, it's a decent swords and sandals escapist popcorn flick for a slow week when nothing else is opening.

As far as the plot goes, Sam Worthington (Avatar) stars as Perseus, a demi-god raised by humans who must save mankind and a hot chick by killing a crapload of monsters the gods send when Zeus (Liam Neeson, soft-lit like something from a Bette Midler musical flick) is persuaded by his snaky brother Hades (Ralph Fiennes re-doing Lord Voldemort) that humankind has gotten too cocky about their importance and it's time to lay down some hurt and destruction. Even sacrificing the hottest maidens might not deter the wrath.

Ah, Greek Mythology, that convoluted mess of gossip and incest. I learned all those stories in high school but honestly I have a better recollection of what colour pants a certain girl wore on any given day than four months' worth of Western Civilization 12. This Clash of the Titans is similarly forgettable so don't go in expecting much more than a few good monsters (and some shitty ones like Medusa) some stilted acting and a whole lot of flash-cut action and off-axis cinematography. It's rated PG-13 because little boys will like it the most.

R-Rated comedy fans can still hit up Hot Tub Time Machine which is good for a few laughs if you like your humour stupid. Chock full of "I screwed your sister/mom" jokes, '80s hair metal and recurring severed arm gags, Hot Tub Time Machine recounts a pivotal 1986 ski vacation that set the tone for a group of friends' futures and lives. The obligatory ski sequence is a good time though - daffys and spread eagles rule.

Coming down the pipe in two weeks is Kick Ass, a comic adaptation about what happens when normal people become superheroes. Defendor, starring Woody Harrelson, relies on the same premise and is now on DVD but where that flick goes for dark and moody Kick Ass takes the comedic route and also serves up super-stylish, well-made fight sequences. Starring Nic Cage, "McLovin" and Chloe Moretz (500 Days of Summer) as a foul-mouthed little girl, the Kick Ass hype has been building for over a year and the good news is it's 2D so Whistler movie lovers can watch it up here.

Perhaps the Municipality should give the Village 8 one of those tax-breaks or just buy them a 3D projector. As a resort, we will never be truly "world class" without one. I'm not even kidding either, it's kind of embarrassing. Even shitholes like Kamloops, Nanaimo, and Quesnel have had 3D projectors installed since last summer. Good to know the "Cultural Capital of Canada" is positioned well below Nanaimo when it comes to the art of cinema. The shame!

 

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