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Pique N' Interest

Close encounters of the bear kind

It must have been about three o’clock in the afternoon when I came face to face with the bear.

Even now, four days later, I still shudder with shame at my behaviour because the encounter was hardly what you would call my finest hour.

I thought everything I’d ever read or reported on would come flooding back to me in the event of meeting a black bear– that I would talk calmly to identify myself, that I would walk away slowly to relax the bear, that I would shout and wave my arms high and wide if he came closer.

Instead, I ran for safety and cowered in fear, leaving my boyfriend’s mom who was visiting from Ontario to simply fend for herself.

Like I said, it wasn’t my finest hour.

Most of us who live in Whistler are comfortable living side by side with the bears. Spotting a bear is commonplace. I’d seen three already before this latest encounter.

But there’s a big difference between spotting a black dot on the Creekside slopes or catching the tail end of a bear disappearing into the woods to seeing a bear hanging out by your kitchen window.

The experience began with a few afternoon cocktails in my kitchen the day after my boyfriend’s mom arrived for a visit.

While we were sipping our yummy pink drinks and catching up with all the news we heard a noise on the back deck close to the kitchen window.

Naturally I assumed it was my landlord rearranging some things outside.

After listening to the racket for about 15 minutes or so I decided to put down my martini and investigate the ruckus.

I wandered over to the kitchen, a mere three steps from my living room and there, framed in the kitchen window, was a big brown bear head.

All I can say is that instinct took over.

Upon seeing the bear I fled. I stood shaking at my bedroom door, pointing to the window and croaking out the words, "It’s a bear, it’s a bear, it’s a bear."

My boyfriend’s mom didn’t quite know what to do. She jumped off her chair, attempted to lock the door and huddled into a corner, surely believing that she was about to be ripped alive while I was holed up in safety in the bedroom.

There was a moment when nothing seemed to happen as we looked at each other paralyzed with fear.

The fact that concrete, glass and wood separated us from the bear was irrelevant. The fact that there has never been a bear attack in Whistler was forgotten in an instant.

I had a vision of the bear punching through the window, lumbering inside, pinning us to the ground and eating us whole.

(I have been known to get dramatic in the face of the unknown.)

Standing terrified by the bedroom door I saw the bear turn his head as though he heard a noise. He jumped down from the boxes, sauntered across the deck and headed past the flower garden into the neighbour’s backyard.

The ordeal was over and we capped it off with another strong martini.

In the retelling of the story, which happened several times over the course of her visit, my boyfriend’s mom painted a sad picture of being left on her own to ward off a vicious attack while I took off for safety, with nary a thought for anyone else.

I suppose it’s not all that far off.

I just don’t know what happened.

I thought I was somewhat bear savvy. Apparently not.

So I called Michael Allen to not only report my bear sighting but to ask for some advice – how was I to stay calm, cool and collected if the bear comes back.

Michael assured me I didn’t do anything wrong… but it might have been a little better if I had made some loud noises like banging some pots together to scare the bear away.

Remember, he said, Whistler bears are used to human noises. They live right beside us after all. So a loud noise would most likely work better than just yelling.

Bears also respond better to body movements, he said. Obviously my body movements were somewhat hindered by being inside the house but had I been outside it would have been best to wave my hands and shout.

If I had bear spray handy Michael said it would have been a good idea to open the kitchen window and spray the bear in the face. This is also known as aversive conditioning, teaching the bear that he will get a painful response of he goes up to an open window.

Of course, you have to stay calm enough to let the bear get close to the window before spraying. I’m going to safely say that I would probably never choose this option willingly even if I had some bear spray handy.

They say that our reactions under pressure are a true testament to our characters. What does that say about me?

After this experience I would urge all my family and friends not to expect too much from me in the event of a catastrophe. I’m likely to leave everyone in the dust as I fight for my own survival. It’s not pretty.

As for my boyfriend’s mom, probably the one person in the world that I want to impress the most, I’m always going to be the girl who left her at the mercy of a Whistler black bear.

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There’s lots of bear activity around right now. Michael Allen has had over 100 calls of reported sightings.

His bear count is still ongoing until the end of June. If you see a bear call 604-902-1660 or e-mail mallen_coastbear@direct.ca

Or you can learn more about Whistler’s black bears at Michael’s bear presentation at MY Place on May 30. Tickets $9 adult, $5 children. Call 604-935-8418.