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Pique n your interest

The pros and cons of social conscience

I like to think that I'm an enlightened and political animal, ready to pounce into the fray if I believe in the cause. I've marched a couple of times, and painted sidewalks all night to make a point.

I've never been arrested, and I've only been threatened with arrest a few times for my activities - unfortunatley, none of those 'activities' qualified as political.

My point is that, as strongly as I believe in the things I believe, I don't know if I'm cut out to be an activist. My intentions are good, but my actions tend to lean more to the moderate. And besides, I wouldn't know what to wear.

I received the following e-mail from one of the groups planning to protest the upcoming Summit of the Americas in Quebec City next week. All 34 countries in North, Central and South America will be on hand to discuss free trade, which most activists agree is bad for the environment, cultural identity, small businesses, indigenous peoples, and Third-World countries.

The activists planning to swarm the summit are a courageous bunch to say the least.

"Are you dressed for success in Quebec?" the e-mail asks.

"As you know, dressing well is SO essential for today's sassy militant. After all, this is Quebec. We are chic, while being anti-FTAA, anti-hypothermia and anti-chemical weapons.

"Today's fashion advice from us emphasizes treating your body to as sensual an experience as can be imagined in Quebec City where it is still fucking snowing and raining and windy!

"So, let's go over our essential dress again, with mention of accessories.

Today's well dressed militant in Quebec City for the Summit is wearing long underwear made of the new synthetic materials that WICK away sweat from you skin. Sweat next to skin can make you cold.

"You should have many loose layers that can be removed if you get hot, and put back on when cold. Extra dry clothes in a bag in your pack sack is a very smart idea. Nylon, polyester or wool socks are IN, Cotton sock are OUT!

"Your outer layer should be water proof. We HIGHLY recommend a cheap rain suit - not only will this keep you dry in the rain or snow, it will keep those nasty pollutants like tear gas and pepper spray from being absorbed by your clothes.

"If you wear fleece, make sure it is beneath your rain gear if you are in a chemical weapon risk zone (near the police). Pepper spray & tear gas gets sponged up by fleece, and then released over time into your face. Yuck!

"We understand the objections you might have to not being able to get rain gear in basic black. However, your plastic rain suit is a perfect medium for spray painting (black, right?), magic markers and all your stickers. Black garbage bags can also work against water and chemicals.

"Boots are important. If you get corralled onto the Plains of Abraham, expect to be wading through some snow, or at least a lot of mud if the snow melts over the next 10 days. Shoes or sneakers are not a great idea for those leisurely promenades.

"Wear gloves or mitts, a good hat, and waterproof head cover if getting near tear gas or pepper spray.

"Let's go over accessories: Cover up as much as possible from head to toe to prevent tear gas or pepper spray (if you are near the stuff).

"NO CONTACT LENSES! The chemicals can get trapped between them and your eyes, causing damage.

"The best face protection is a quality gas mask with shatter resistant plastic lenses. However, they are expensive, cumbersome, and might be stolen by the cops.

"At least have:

"Sealed eye goggles (swimming or ski). Come in many funky colors. Workshop goggles that are sealed with tape might fit over eyeglass frames.

"Cover your mouth & nose with either: A filtered respirator from a hardware store (The filters must be good against paint solvent or chemical solvent) or a fiber mask (looks like a hospital face mask) that is also good against paint solvent or chemical solvent. A good substitute is a bandanna soaked in apple cider vinegar. You can substitute regular vinegar, but it is nastier to breath through. Lemon juice also works.

"Wear a bicycle helmet to help prevent baton bumps and padding in sensitive areas if you might be fox trotting with a clumsy policeman.

"Speaking of padding, make sure you add insulation pads between you and the ground if you plan on sitting down.

"To prevent hypothermia, you need to eat plenty of high calorie foods for energy, drink plenty of water for warm blood circulation. This should make you pee.

"If you are having such a swell time at your blockade that you simply can't skip out to the bathroom, don't pee in your pants. It is not chic and will only make you cold and miserable. You could wear a synthetic wick-away diaper, have your buddies form a banner barrier around you or wear a urinary catheter attached to a tube (for men, there are external condom catheters).

"We love your piercing, and so do the cops. They may grab them, or use giant magnets to capture you. If you can't remove them, tape them over.

"If it's sunny, we would be awfully silly getting sunburned, but it happened last week at the Ottawa demo. We recommend bringing along water-based or alcohol-based sunscreen.

"Cheers,

The Quebec Medical Fashion Brigade"

- by Andrew Mitchell