Well I've done it again.
I've jumped on the proverbial bandwagon and I'm happily trundling down the road. Only this time I'm a little hungrier.
I've never been one to stay off the bandwagon for very long. A quick peak in my parent's basement would reveal a lot of the girlie trends since 1974.
There's Strawberry Shortcake, a life-sized Smurf, not to forget Sammy Jo, David Francis and Keith Norman – my Cabbage Patch Kids. (If anyone is wondering, Norman is my dad's name and I felt somewhat obliged at nine years old to carry on his name – no offence to all Norm's everywhere).
There's a Mini Pops LP, a record called Eat It by Weird Al Yankovic and a purple cut off sweatshirt with a young Michael Jackson dancing on a bunch of squares that light up when he touches them. Sometimes I love digging through everything for a brief wander down memory lane.
But let's forget about dolls and records and Michael for a moment. I'm talking serious trends now.
Who else is on a low-carb Atkins style diet?
Let's face it. Summer is fast approaching. I've put on a little insulation over the winter and it's time to lose those extra pounds.
They say Atkins is the way to loose those pesky 10 or 20 pounds and any diet that says you can eat bacon and eggs every morning is OK in my books. But is it?
Now I'm not particularly interested in the science behind it all. You can get experts to tell you a low carb diet is good for you and critics who say the long-term effects have never been tallied. There are people who say it works for the short-term but when you start eating carbs again you pack on the pounds. But there doesn't seem to be too much debate that by cutting out carbs you can lose weight.
Here's the real crunch. The Atkins diet for me is like abandoning the basic principles of good healthy eating that I've been taught for the past 30 years.
Those principles were about watching the amount of fat in my diet, eating balanced meals and cutting down on red meat.
Let's review.
Bacon and egg breakfasts with sausage and black pudding from the Scottish baker were a staple in my household every Saturday and Sunday (until my dad had the quintuple bypass).
Though we tucked into these breakfasts every weekend, there was a deep sense that what we were doing really wasn't all that healthy for us. This thought was usually reinforced by my mother who would be eating bran flakes at the same table and extolling their soggy virtue. Since the bypass my dad's been eating bran flakes too and bacon and egg breakfasts have become a thing of the past, relegated to fond and delicious memories.
Then there's the fruit. By Atkins standards many fruits and vegetables for that matter are full of carbs. Bananas, apples, oranges, pears are all off limits in the first few weeks of the diet.
I was always taught that I could never eat enough fruit – "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" and all that stuff.
When all the other kids were getting Wagon Wheels I had apples and pears, and most of the time they were bruised. I just find it weird to follow a diet where bananas are "bad" for you.
Then there are the eggs. I always followed a basic rule that two eggs every week is about right. Any more than that and you would start to get concerned about your cholesterol. I'm not sure where I picked that one up but it has always stuck with me.
On the Atkins diet eggs seem to be a staple. Full of protein, no carbs. Omelettes, scrambled eggs, fried eggs. You name it eggs are on the menu. What ever happened to worries about cholesterol?
And finally let's talk about the red meat. Another basic guideline I learned was to watch your portions of red meat – a few times a week is OK but chicken and fish are infinitely better. This lesson was reinforced by my dad's heart surgeon who was adamant that roast beef dinner's and Shepherds Pie were no longer an option for someone who's just had a bypass.
But there are all these stories of people on Atkins who live off bacon and eggs for breakfast and steak for lunch and dinner and still lose weight.
So how do you change these eating habits of a lifetime to accommodate a new fad?
The truth is I don't think I can.
I can't eat bacon and eggs and feel good about myself.
I can't eat protein for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
And I cannot eat a burger without a bun.
No one should have to eat a burger without a bun.
The only thing about the Atkins diet is that people seem to get skinny doing it and that's why it's all the rage in a fat-obsessed culture.
When you start counting carbs you realize pretty quickly that there are carbs in just about everything, especially the good stuff.
They're even in the healthy stuff like yogurt and corn and baked beans.
I don't doubt that it works but it's not working for me unfortunately.
I like fruit, I feel weird about eating a diet with a lot of fat in it and pasta is one of the few meals I can cook.
So instead I'm "watching" my carbs. That is, I'm watching how many I eat and the time of day I'm eating them. Oh, and I went to the gym for the first time in a long time this week.
The first time back at the gym in a long time always sucks and that stationary bike was getting me nowhere. I guess it's a start though.
I hate to say it but summer is just around the corner!
