Pique n' your interest 

More than one way out

A bouncer friend of mine once explained his strategy for ejecting drunk and unruly patrons. In the beginning he would grab them by the scruff of the neck, ready to put them in a choke-hold if they fought back, and propel them through the crowd to the door. Usually male, they would struggle, curse, and yell loudly for the manager. Sometimes they would try to fight the bouncer or bouncers out on the street, and my friend would have to sit on them until the police came to take the person away.

He has since adopted a less forceful approach. He approaches the person and politely informs them that the bar is running out of booze because of them, and that it wouldn't be fair to the rest of the customers to let them stay. He asks the person where his friends are, and then he asks the friends if they could do him a favour and get the person home and to bed.

If the friends aren't going to help, the bouncer walks the person out, stopping at the coat check or washroom if needs be, and makes sure the person knows where he or she is going. He tells them to come back tomorrow when they get a new shipment in.

The inebriated patron goes off smiling most of the time because their pride and dignity is left intact. "You take away that, and they're going to take a swing at you," my friend said. "They don't really have a choice."

Sometimes there are still problems, even with the honey over vinegar approach, but the more polite you are, the more reasonable a person is going to be. It seems like a reasonable approach.

Now I'm not saying our current prime minister is an unruly drunk, stumbling around a nightclub spilling beer all over his shirt. But when Jean Chretien is shown the door, either by members of his party at the next leadership review or by the Canadian voters at the next election, it might be a good idea to make sure to give him a dignified way out.

Last week the man himself ventured to B.C., a place he has avoided like the plague since the Canadian Alliance took over the province last election, to declare a Sikh Temple as a national landmark and dedicate a new monument in Chinatown. Aside from a few hecklers, and a detainee with a suspicious pie, the PM was poised and politically correct.

If he was worried that party members have given him an ultimatum to announce his plans for the future, he didn't show it. If he was concerned that the pollsters are asking the public whether the PM should resign - something that would have been considered treason a few hundred years ago - he didn't say.

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