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Pique n' your interest

Canada’s Prime-time Ministers

There are less than two weeks remaining before Canadians head to the polls to pick our next Parliament, and so far the whole election has been about as exciting as the series finale of Friends – no real surprises, just a comforting reinforcement of character stereotypes. The Liberal is self-righteous and patronizing, the Conservative is too religious and rightwing to be taken seriously, the NDP-er is far too negative for a party that is supposed to be about hope.

After a decade under the Liberal Party whip this was supposed to be an election about vision, but once again it has disintegrated into a six-week long comparison of haircuts and a tit-for-tat on the issues. To tell you the truth I’m learning more about the candidates’ positions from their mud-slinging opponents than I an from the parties themselves.

For example, both the Liberals and NDP say that Stephen Harper would have committed Canada to the war in Iraq, will pull us out of the Kyoto Protocol if elected, and doesn’t personally support a woman’s right to choose or a gay couple’s right to marry, but it doesn’t say anything of the kind in the Conservative Party’s "Demand Better" platform.

The Conservatives say the Liberals would continue the same blatant patronage of party supporters that has occurred in the past, and which led to the sponsorship scandal, but you won’t find any reference to either patronage or sponsorship in the Liberals’ "Moving Forward: The Paul Martin Plan for Getting Things Done" platform.

The debates were slightly interesting, but to be honest they were really more about trading insults and scoring points off one another than a test of good leadership. It’s a popularity contest where the candidates are graded by the media and the public on their poise under pressure, their appearance, their presentation and their ability to dish out zingers. The only thing missing was the bikini contest.

Although you can get some idea of a candidate’s personality through the debates, it helps to recognize going in that a quick wit is not the same as intelligence. You should also recognize the fact that our party leaders are not exactly speaking off the cuff out there and that their statements are carefully rehearsed beforehand to make the most impact on the 11 o’clock news. No new ideas are ever presented, and the candidate’s rarely break away from their party platform unless it’s to dish out an insult.

That may sound cynical, but I was really hoping that this election would be different.

I was hoping that Paul Martin would represent change rather than the status quo, that Stephen Harper would be a more enlightened kind of conservative, and that Jack Layton would do more to represent the besieged middle class and honestly try to win this election.

For some reason our national health-care system has once again been framed as the number one issue in this election, a decision that was made long before the voters even got a chance to figure out what their own priorities really are.

I’m not saying our health-care system is not important but it’s probably the one issue where the candidates are most in agreement. It’s also the one issue that’s so complex in nature that it can’t possibly be fixed overnight by a change of governments, and the candidates know it. That’s why it’s a safe issue – it gets the public’s attention, but nobody really expects the candidate to do anything.

For me, all of these discussions on health care and the other primary campaign issues for 2004 seem to be a distraction from the real 800 pound gorilla in the room, and that’s the fact that Canada’s antiquated Parliamentary system badly needs an overhaul. It’s just not working.

The last candidate who dared to point a finger at the gorilla was reformer Preston Manning, who proposed almost a decade ago to replace the Senate with an elected body where provinces and territories were given equal representation.

Although Stephen Harper has followed Manning’s footsteps by changing hairdos mid-campaign, that’s where the similarity ends. The Conservative Party leader has yet to propose any fundamental changes to the way Canada operates to make the country more democratic in the future.

With opinion polls indicating that Martin or Harper could find themselves leading a minority government after June 28 you’d think that the time has finally come for our Parliamentary system to consider some badly needed reforms, such as proportional representation and free votes in the House.

Under the current rules if a minority government fails to win any vote in the House, then that is automatically taken as a vote of non-confidence in the government and a new election must be held. Crazy, but true.

And if you think that opposition parties are mature enough to resist the temptation to screw the ruling party, then think again – Joe Clark’s tenure as Prime Minister was severed after nine months in 1979 when his very basic budget was voted down.

As a result of these ridiculous, outdated laws there’s a real possibility that some Canadians will vote for Paul Martin rather than their conscience because they prefer a stable majority government over minority rule and don’t want to go through all this crap again before the year is up.

Rather than take this opportunity to advocate for a change in our system of government, the Paul Martin government is actually using the possibility of a minority government as a threat to motivate voters. That’s some strategy – a vote for the opposition is a vote for total chaos.

It may not work for Conservative followers, but you can bet that there are some NDP supporters out there who will end up voting for Martin just to keep the peace.

On the other side of the spectrum, the Conservatives and NDP aren’t suggesting any radical changes to government either, which suggests that they secretly like the idea of holding our government hostage to get their way for the entire next term. If you think the behind the scenes deal-mongering and influence was bad before, wait until you see our minority government at work.

To sum up, it seems that our choice this year is between a government that’s constantly on the verge of collapse and yet another majority government that doesn’t appear to be accountable to anyone. Neither choice feels very democratic.

It’s also kind of sad that many Canadians will be voting strategically this year rather than from the heart.

We’re not governed by reason any more, but by an 800 pound gorilla.