Shocking news! Alamo destroyed by the girl next door! 

I hate watching movies on television. It’s the commercials. Movies are not dramatically designed to be interrupted every 10 minutes for "a word form our sponsors." It’s like this: suppose you’re having sex and just when it’s starting to get really good and you’re really hitting your rhythm some dude taps you on the shoulder and says, "Hold on there, eh. Did you know Always with wings is three times as absorbent? Neat-O. And check out this stupid SUV you’ll never be able to afford, nifty huh? And hey, by the way, this beer will get you laid, oh wait, you’re already getting laid. Okay, back to it then."

Do you think that might sort of ruin the sexual experience? Kind of set it back a bit? How much of a climax can you possibly build with all those interruptions? Well, it’s the same with movies. Breaking them up and putting them on TV is simply wrong.

TV shows are only slightly better because they, at least, have a bunch of mini climaxes that keep you intrigued over the commercial breaks. But realistically this is a waste of time too. Thankfully, the best TV shows are put onto DVD so you can watch them commercial free, non-stop, and plow through a whole season in a matter of days. A perfect example of this is 24 , the best TV show ever. 24 stars Keifer Sutherland as a counter-terrorist agent who has a really long, hard day. Told in real time, an hour on the show equals an hour in real life. Watched back-to-back on DVD 24 is so gripping I once called in sick to work and cancelled reservations at the Rimrock just so I could lie on the floor and enjoy eight straight hours . Season one and two are available at any respectable video store so when it starts to rain outside, don’t complain about having nothing to do.

The other good thing about 24 is that it co-stars Elisha Cuthbert, hot Canadian actress of the moment. Elisha’s new flick, opening this week at the Village 8, is called The Girl Next Door and it just might be my new favourite teen comedy, up there with Fast Times at Ridgemont High , and Clueless.

The Girl Next Door is about Matthew, the shy, smart, when-I-grow-up-I-wanna-be-president kid who falls in love with Danielle (Cuthbert) when he glances next door and sees her naked. They develop a touchingly sweet relationship and she teaches the play-it-safe kid the importance of letting loose and being daring as a means to maintaining a well-rounded life. And she should know, she’s a porn star. Or at least she was, now she’s house sitting for her aunt and looking for a career change.

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