The 2000 Maxie Awards 

The voting’s over; the ballots are in. Same old PM in Canada and finally a new Pres in the US, Bush Lite. But more eagerly anticipated than either of those yawners, the accounting firm of Countem, Fixem and Lye have tabulated all the votes for the Faux Millennium, Year 2000 Maxie Awards. The envelopes please.

MOUNTAIN AWARDS

Best Improvement – Whistler Division: Gee, let’s see. Could it be DUSTY’S? The rest of the new Creekside is very nice – confusing, but nice – but Dusty’s II is stunning. Lots of warmth, good sound, an atmosphere that just shouts "Take your clothes off and dance on the tables!" and more or less the whole sick crew still working the front of the house. And here I was afraid I’d have to upgrade my wardrobe to feel comfortable in the new digs.

Best Improvement – Blackcomb Division: I’m sure something’s being planned for the new millennium. Watch this space.

Now You See-Em, Now You Don’t Award: Proving management of even a large corporation can be flexible and change policy when needed, W-B declines to release skier visits for the first time after Y2K-freaked tourists stay away in droves over the holidays but has no trouble finding the "start" button on the PR machine when the two millionth visitor shows up. Whatever happened to through thick and thin?

Foregone Conclusion Even in B.C. Award: Hugh Smythe is honoured with B.C. Tourism’s first annual Tourism Industry Leader of the Year award. They might as well retire the award now.

Stay of Execution Award: Another year of free – if confusing – parking at Creekside. Now I know how Damocles felt.

POLITICS AS USUAL AWARDS

Aw, but You Promised Award: In the last municipal election, the successful candidates all promised to find new, innovative ways to gather input from the community. I don’t think seances and Ouija boards count, guys. We’re still waiting.

I Didn’t Know the Real Pimp and Ho Party was at Muni Hall: Council – with one obvious dissenting vote – decides cash is an amenity, as in, "Will you take cash to look the other way and approve a zoning variance to my property?" Let’s see, if council is now in the business of turning tricks for cash, that makes them...?

Justice is Not Only Blind, She’s Stupid as a Bag of Hammers: A B.C. Supreme Court judge sentences 72-year-old Betty Krawczyk and Barney Kern to jail for one year for contempt of court when they violated an injunction and peacefully protested the rape of the Elaho. Crown counsel cuts a deal with the redneck loggers, who busted protester heads and hospitalized three people, that will most likely see them get suspended sentences. I think the message here is clear. Peaceful protest is bad; violence is good. Who could possibly be contemptuous of thinking like that?

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