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The answer man responds

"Dear Max: I've just read the Pique cover to cover as usual..." For which I thank you. "We sure have a lot of 'Adult Services' competing for business in our little 'fun for the whole family' town. The Roxy's ad really stands out.

"Dear Max:

I've just read the Pique cover to cover as usual..."


For which I thank you.

"We sure have a lot of 'Adult Services' competing for business in our little 'fun for the whole family' town. The Roxy's ad really stands out. The shot, from below, of a girl's crotch and butt looks fairly pornographic to me. But, that's just me. And where do we draw the line anyway?"

Thank you for pointing that out to me. The debate, not Roxy's ad. I was unaware it was going on and, having never passed up a good debate, I'm ready to give'er on this one. Which side would you like me to take, pro or con? Having been a lawyer, I can do either with no real conviction but lots of big words and no small amount of bombast.

As for having lots of "adult services" I guess that's understandable. For years now we've marched headlong towards rebranding ourselves as a Mountain Resort, not just a Ski Resort. As a Mountain Resort, we feel compelled to provide our four-season guests with the broadest possible range of fun-filled, adrenaline-fueled experiences. Hummers to Hookers, you might say, is practically our motto.

Thanks for pointing out Roxy's ad as well. I was only vaguely aware of it, not generally being one to troll the T&A section of the paper. You're right; it does stand out. I guess we should be grateful Roxy has enough class to dress that girl in a checked bikini bottom instead of going with the straight-up, split beave, BMFM shot. But then, it's still early in the new millennium. I wouldn't rule anything out just yet.

Fascinating, as well, is the range of adult services provided. Fantastic Felines? I had no idea anyone was providing animal therapy for visiting guests who, no doubt, are pining for the pussies they've left back home. I thought this was mostly just done in retirement villas where the residents are thrilled when the traveling menagerie visits with puppies and kittens. And in the give-'em-what-they-want department, I stand in solemn reverie of Adam & Eve. Who'da thunk we'd so obviously cater to the born-again fundamentalist crowd. Hallelujah, he has come. That oughtta warm the heart of the Southern Baptists when they arrive for the Olympics.

As for Roxy's ad looking pornographic to you, well, I'll demur to a far wiser jurist on this one. In 1964, U.S. Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart, in Jacobellis v. Ohio, famously said about pornography, "... it's hard to define, but I know it when I see it." As with art, I've always taken some comfort in his definition. If it's pornographic to you, it's pornographic to you. Far be it from me to get into whether it has redeeming social value or is simply prurient.


"Last I heard prostitution is against the law."


Me too. Though I've never exactly been clear on why it's against the law. It's always seemed to me to run contrary to the whole, capitalistic, free-market in goods and services philosophy we're so often told is the foundation of both our culture and wealth. But then, I've always been amazed pot's illegal and the Olympics aren't seen as a crime against humanity. Go figure.

"Yes, some of these companies provide strippers for bachelor parties and 'sensual massages' but the rest is so-called escort service. Let's call a spade a spade."

I keep telling my Perfect Partner exactly that. "Call a spade a spade! That other thing's a shovel, dammit." But then, she can tell the difference between 18 shades of red and I can't.

"So, what's the Pique's position on this? Are you a party to breaking the law by running ads for businesses that provide prostitutes?"

Pique generally doesn't ask me to answer such inquiries. Not for any of the reasons you might think - like not actually being an employee, owner or officer of Pique NewsMagazine - but more because Bob is fully capable of answering, or ignoring, such questions himself and, let's be brutally honest here, I'm not.

But it's a slow news week. And as much as I'd be happy to provide another disservice to the community - like, for instance, suggesting the emperor is wearing no clothes or VANOC really only has their own best interests at heart - and give Mayor Kenny another "reason" to take a gratuitous swipe at me before a largely befuddled audience, while simultaneously explaining how going all spinelessly supine before Darth Furlong or taking on Olympic-size debt at the dawn of a full-blown depression is a positive legacy, I figure his blood pressure and growing self-importance really doesn't need the boost.

So what the hell? I can assure you I am not breaking the law. At least not the law as it pertains to prostitution. I'm pretty sure running the ads doesn't make Pique a pimp. Having said that, my - lapsed - license to practice did not extend to Canada or B.C. so I'll take the fifth... or I would if Canada had a fifth to take. Since it doesn't, I'll take a 40 pounder.

"And what about the quasi-pornographic ads? Where are all the indignant Mothers upset about their children seeing these ads? Please explain."

Where are all the indignant mothers? Mothering, I hope. It's a hard job. It's an expansive job. Done well, like other hard, big jobs, it contains elements those who hold it prefer it didn't have. One of those is explaining unpleasant, real-world things to children so they can navigate their way through life.

One thing mothers shouldn't be trying to explain though is ads for adult services/hookers. That's something fathers should be trying to explain. I've never availed myself of escort services but of one thing I'm fairly certain: While the services might be XXX, 99.9 per cent of the clientele is XY. Very few mothers hire escorts, have sensual massages in their hotel rooms or pay hookers for sex.

In the first instance, indignant mothers ought to be getting all indignant with fathers, brothers, sons and husbands who are the demand side of this supply equation. I'd make them explain it to their children.

Then, I'd stop worrying about it. Mothers, your children are getting more than enough sex-ed in every publication, television show and website. The fact is, if they're getting as far as the classifieds in Pique, they're probably smart enough to deal with the tasteless tart ads. Just pray they're not making it all the way to the back page.

The fact is, Pique adds to the fabric of Whistler's community. It doesn't create it any more than a mirror creates what it reflects. If indignant mothers and fathers want to voice their indignation, Pique 's letters section is a good place to start. But with everything there is to get indignant about in the world, let's choose our targets carefully, oh my sisters and brothers.

Thanks for writing.