The Local Infection 

Resident experts present a clinical diagnosis of a Whistler malady

By Michele Bush and Gillie Easdon

Lo*cal Adj .

1 a . Of, or relating to, or characteristic of a particular place: a local custom; the local slang.

b . Of or relating to a city, town, or district rather than a large area: state and local government.

2 . Not broad or general; not widespread: local outbreaks of flu.

3 . Of or affecting a specific part of the body: a local infection.

4 . Making all possible or scheduled stops on a route; not express: a local train.

n.

1 . A public conveyance that makes several intermediate stops before the final destination is reached: changed trains to a local.

2 . A local chapter or branch of an organization especially of a labor union. local anaesthetic.

3 . Informal . A person from a particular locality. Local

adj.

Affecting or confined to a limited part; not general or systemic.

In response to the glut of use and misuse of the word "local", social observationalists and thorough research specialists Doctors Michele Bush and Gillian Easdon have developed the following comprehensive, strategic and sustainable questionnaire. The conscious and unconscious bastardization and perversion of the concept and reality of The Whistler Local calls for immediate action. Your input is vital to the success of the study. Please take a moment to fill out this questionnaire and fax your responses to 604-MIL-OCAL. Thanking you in advance for your candour, time and participation.

The doctors’ credentials

Dr. M. Bush

24-year resident, anomaly of typical Whistler resident. Rarely participates in traditional Whistler sporting activities. Has no idea why she moved here, but is still here. On the rare occasion she does partake in typical Whistler sport she is usually asked, "Dr. Bush – are you lost?" Alternately an exorcist is summoned. Dr. Bush prefers comedic artistic endeavours and copious wine consumption. Past store owner, bartender, multiple job-holder, homeowner, cougar.

Dr. Gillian Easdon

Four-year resident, also predominantly arts interests. Bad influence, bad dresser, really bad bike helmet. Spearheaded this "local article" thing. The word "local" bugs her. Possibly suffering from moderate distemper, disease and loss of sense of self as a result of being on the cusp of junior and intermediate local (further clarification of these terms to follow). Store patron, multiple job-holder and rent payer.

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