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The Maxies...a year worthy of awards

Compared to, say, 1789, the year the French found everything so revolting, 2011 probably wasn't monumental. Compared to every other year I've lived in Whistler though, it was a doozy.
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Compared to, say, 1789, the year the French found everything so revolting, 2011 probably wasn't monumental. Compared to every other year I've lived in Whistler though, it was a doozy. Name a subject, topic or event and it was probably highly contentious 'round Tiny Town this year. Parking, asphalt, muni salaries, free concerts, transit, sustainability and weather were all things likely to start a bar fight this year.

The underlying pool of bubbling pique culminated in an historic election. With voter turnout and voter temper running higher than in virtually any other community in Lotusland, baby, bathwater and the whole darned plumbing system was thrown out. "Former Whistler councilor/mayor," suddenly popped up on resumes floating around town more frequently than "taxi driver."

Personally, I don't think the unrest had anything to do with the issues. It was the math. Not the math of rapidly escalating municipal expenditures, the math of prime numbers. 2011 is not only a prime number; it is — in the words of marketing hype — a super-prime number. It is the sum of eleven consecutive prime numbers beginning with 157. Mathwise, this is kinda like having the planets line up in a cosmic convergence. The poor incumbents didn't have a chance. They were dealing with powers beyond mortal comprehension.

Nonetheless, 2011 was a year worthy of awards, however meaningless. And what could be more meaningless than a Maxi? Don't know but here we go....

Around Town Division

Best Mountain Improvement: It's either a sad commentary on mankind or an acknowledgement of Whistler Blackcomb's maturity, resortwise, but the Whistler Blackcomb Live app for smartphones gets the nod. Don't see the fascination personally but I defer to the masses.

Best Mountain Improvement If We Ever Have Capital to Spend Again: Harmony in the Crystal Zone. Someday ol' Pokey will be replaced by the Harmony chair and Harmony will get a new six-pack. Until then, we'll settle for Crystal Chair just being open a bit more often.

Best New Restaurant (Resurrection, Village Division): Flipside. Uli's back; go eat pasta so he never leaves again.

Best New Restaurant (Resurrection, Function Division): Burnt Stew Café. Colin's back. Well, he never really left but it's great to have him back in the kitchen and/or roaming the tables.

Best New Restaurant, Bar, Whatever: Doc Branigan's. Will Crazy Dave and the crew finally succeed where so many have failed? Will they get the license they deserve? Stay tuned, but in the meantime, check 'em out.

Best Use of a Clearcut: Love it or hate it, it'll be around long after you're gone. Whistler Olympic Plaza will forever change the way people experience and use the village. Just pray the RMI money doesn't run out.

Best Evidence Sustainability Hasn't Become a Meaningless Word: After a couple of false starts, Whistler Community Services opens the Re-Build-It Centre in Function. Used stuff at used prices that's new to you.

Local Government Division

Power to Da People: November 19th was not a good day to have the word "Re-elect" on your campaign sign. Democracy sucks... it just sucks less than other systems. Time to walk the talk, boys and girls.

The Law is an Arse, I: According to our well-paid municipal lawyers, the asphalt plant at Cheakamus is a permitted use under the current zoning. No, wait a minute, it isn't a permitted use. On further reflection, it may be a permitted use. I think that's what lawyers refer to as covering all your bases.

The Law is an Arse, II: After several attempts by opposing counsel to detect signs of life, municipal lawyers, Young Anderson, fail to even file the factum in the Rainbow appropriation suit appeal. The judge dismisses the appeal — leaving the muni on the hook for a bazillion dollars in damages — but bails their sorry arse out by saying the appeal would have failed anyway. Hope the E&OE premiums are up to date.

The Law is an Arse, III: Presumably on the advice of counsel, the RMOW promises Whistler Aggregates $350,000 for their asphalt plant upgrades... or was that legal costs... or in settlement of possible, potential, hypothetical, future lawsuits... not that the RMOW or any of its employees, past or present, has done anything even remotely improper or which would expose it to any legal liability whatsoever. E&OE

The Long Road Home: After two decades of the same sad song, an absolutely giddy Marla Zucht was overjoyed to report to council that for the first time in, like forever, the annual survey of Whistler businesses found no crying need for more employee housing. While there will always be more to do on the housing front, this is a miraculous success story we should all be proud of.

But We Threw Him a Party, Not Out: Long-time muni hall fixture and CAO Bill Barratt announced his retirement, which somehow became his wrongful dismissal, which became his lawsuit, which was settled after he made his point, whatever that was. It was a matter of principle. Quick Watson, the magnifying glass and tweezers!

Other Governments Division

Flying by the Seat of Their Pants, I: If there is a special hell for project mismanagement, the Vancouver Coastal Health's project manager and all his bosses will spend eternity there for their inept, incompetent and potentially criminal mismanagement of the Whistler Health Care heliport upgrade. Unfortunately, in the cosseted world of VCH, they'll probably just be promoted.

Flying by the Seat of Their Pants, II: Maybe if our local government, our local MLA, our local MP and all of us who live here clog Transport Canada's inbox with requests, they'll reconsider their indefensible regulations on banning single-engine choppers from landing at the health care centre, assuming they ever allow the heliport to open again.

The Government We Deserve?: Oh, Canada. From peacekeeper to war monger, from environmental laggard to environmental criminal, from social society to corporate bootlick, from fairer elections to politics American style, we'll be a different country entirely when Harpo's Cons get through with us.

Random Division

Making a Silk Purse Out of a Dog's Ear: No one could have imagined in January any good might come out of the killing of no-one-knows-how-many sled dogs. But Kirby Brown and Sue Eckersley found a way for a dog-loving town to feel a little better about itself.

Requiem for a Heavyweight: In a town that can find so many ways to honour transitory glory, we ought to be able to find a way to pay homage to Jeanie the Bear. Maybe if we just realize that continued growth is going to mean more dead bears.... Naw, too radical.

Dug Deep; Dig Deeper: The need never goes away; the work is never done. There are lots of good and noble causes you might contribute to before year's end but none so needin' as our local Food Bank. Your accountant will approve.