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‘I like your shorts. Can I have them?’ Unconventional encounters in coastal Mozambique

By Lindsay Mackenzie “Now, the important thing is when I say go, you jump out of the boat. If you wait it will be gone. When I say go, go.

By Lindsay Mackenzie

“Now, the important thing is when I say go, you jump out of the boat. If you wait it will be gone. When I say go, go. Understand?”

Clad in snorkeling gear and falling over our flippers in an awkward attempt to launch the boat from the beach, we nod in agreement with Carlos’s instructions and jump in. As we motor out of the bay I turn to see another of our guides, known only as the Shark Spotter, clamber into a high chair at the back of the boat and silently scan the horizon.

“So he just says go and we jump in. That’s it?”

My friend replies with a shrug: “I guess so.”

Considering what we’re about to do, I could have used a little more direction.

Before we can prepare or ask questions, we hear Carlos yelling above the roar of the motor: “Ok we see one! Go!”

The boat pulls to an abrupt stop and we flash each other wildly conspiratorial grins before strapping on our masks and — with an utter lack of grace — toppling backwards out of the boat.

Suddenly the chaos of the boat is lost in the silence of the warm blue Indian Ocean. As I attempt to orient myself and find the surface, I glimpse the huge spotted mass gliding beneath me. There it is. A whale shark.

Registering the fact that I am swimming next to the largest fish in the sea almost causes me to forget to breathe. I curse my petty human need for oxygen as I head back to the surface for a quick breath. As I plunge back toward the whale shark I have the chance to take in the full size of the animal — at around 20,000 kilograms, the shark is about the same size as a school bus. The only difference being that it’s alive, and next to me underwater. I swim closer, getting a good look at its tiny eye, bright white spots and gaping mouth. Though I know that it somehow manages to become so huge feeding exclusively on plankton, it’s still slightly unsettling to be underwater next to such a massive open-mouthed animal.

The shark hardly looks as if it’s moving as it glides effortlessly through the water, making a mockery of the tiny snorkelers beside it who kick frantically in a losing battle to keep up. Eventually we all tire and the shark leaves us in its wake. Carlos nimbly plucks us out of the water and my friend and I babble giddily about the experience, trying to come to terms with our own disbelief about what we’ve just done.

We’re in Tofu, Mozambique and we’ve just swam with a whale shark.

“Sure beats a day at work, huh?” she gloats.

 

Paradise

Tofu, Mozambique is the kind of place that makes you honestly consider never leaving. A paradise of palm trees and beach breezes, Tofu is a small coastal town six to 12 hours (the time variance is a factor of when and how severely your leaky bus breaks down) north of the capital, Maputo.

Walking barefoot down the dirt roads toward the beach, surfboard in hand, one is followed by a cheerful chorus of “bom dia!” from the mischievous Portuguese-speaking local children, whose favourite game seems to be trying to get you to give them, quite literally, the clothes off your back. A typical beachside conversation with a local kid would sound something like this:

“Hello. My name is Elvis.”

“Hi Elvis, nice to meet you.”

“I like your shorts.”

“Thanks.”

“Can I have them?”

Aside from bartering with locals, snorkeling with whale sharks, and surfing, one can also scuba dive in manta ray territory, horseback ride on the long, unoccupied beaches, or go sport-fishing. This is in addition to the obvious sun tanning and gorging on the spectacularly flavourful Portuguese-influenced, coconut-laced coastal cuisine, which would be worth the trip in and of itself.

When they aren’t trying to take your T-shirt, the laid-back, welcoming locals encourage you to join them in enjoying the unconventional and diverse delights of their town at their pace, which can only be described as slow-motion-bordering-on-backwards. In short, Tofu is as sweet and slow as honey. Just be careful you don’t get stuck.

 

Getting there

A former Portuguese colony, Mozambique is situated north-east of South Africa on the Indian Ocean. Tofu is accessible via local bus or through minibuses organized by hostels in Maputo. Accommodation in Tofu caters to backpackers. No ATMs exist in Tofu so bring cash from Maputo or nearby Inhambane. Little evidence of the civil war (ended in 1992) exists, however landmines do remain and travelers are advised to stay on marked paths. Malaria is common in Mozambique so bring anti-malarial medication and take precautions to avoid mosquito bites. Visas are required for Canadian travelers and can be obtained at the border or at Mozambican consulates in South Africa or Canada.