‘Twas the variant before Christmas and all through the town,
People struggled to turn their sour frowns upside down.
The news was abuzz with new COVID concerns,
Letters from dead alphabets nobody learns.
There was Alpha and Beta, Gamma, Epsilon,
Eta and Iota, Kappa-Mu-Zeta
We just got through Delta
And now Omicron?
How many more months of these rules to endure!
And it’s not Bonnie’s fault, the blame’s with us not with her!
All the masks! All the jabs! All the rules that may vary!
All the sanitizing stations and the passports we carry!
And now inflation is coming to the pumps and to stores,
All the stuff that you need costs a little bit more.
And if you have the money, why those shelves could be bare!
The supply chain’s in a crisis, everything, everywhere.
No bikes, no computers, Playstations, Xboxes,
No cars, no cream cheeses for bagels and loxes.
Times are kind of grim, the new normal is sad,
And people are worn out from this year that we’ve had.
Remember we thought we couldn’t top twenty-twenty?
“What more could go wrong?” Well, it turned out to be plenty.
Heat domes and floods, another pointless election,
Quite possibly the start of a global recession.
And the snow hasn’t been falling the way that it ought,
The usual piles of December elephant snot,
To bury the stumps and the creeks and small trees,
And the dips and the bumps that dismantle our knees.
But even in dark times like these there’s a glimmer of good,
To take us through the holidays feeling hope like we should.
Like the fact COVID cases are well past their peak,
Like the snow that’s been falling every day this past week,
Where we’ve been, who we’ve seen now we can finally fly,
Like the ways that we’ve found to make the most of these times.
And hey, legal weed! The muni’s finally on it.
Soon we can buy legal “Omichronic.”
And the Canucks, well they suck, but at least you can watch,
Only $49 for Columbus, beers just $18 a pop.
And Christmas is coming with good times and good cheer,
Good food and good friends and slightly more affordable beer.
And before we all know it, we’ll be saying Happy New Year!
And mean it…
Because things can only really go up from here.