Horoscopes

ARIES (March 21-April 19): "The prettier the garden, the dirtier the hands of the gardener," writes aphorist B. E. Barnes. That'll be especially applicable to you in the coming weeks.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Palestinian American writer Susan Abulhawa writes that in the Arab world, to say a mere "thank you" is regarded as spiritless and ungenerous.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): I predict that August will be a Golden Age for you. That's mostly very good. Golden opportunities will arise, and you'll come into possession of lead that can be transmuted into gold.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Be extra polite and deferential. Cultivate an exaggerated respect for the status quo. Spend an inordinate amount of time watching dumb TV shows while eating junk food.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): "Take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic." Whenever that quote appears on the internet, it's falsely attributed to painter Frida Kahlo. In fact, it was originally composed by poet Marty McConnell.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Your key theme right now is growth. Let's dig in and analyze its nuances. 1. Not all growth is good for you. It may stretch you too far too fast—beyond your capacity to integrate and use it. 2.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Twentieth-century French novelist Marcel Proust described 19th-century novelist Gustave Flaubert as a trottoire roulant , or "rolling sidewalk:" plodding, toneless, droning.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Your best ideas and soundest decisions will materialize as if by magic while you're lounging around doing nothing in a worry-free environment. So please make sure you have an abundance of relaxed slack and unhurried grace.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you have cosmic permission to enjoy extra helpings of waffles, crepes, pancakes, and blintzes. Eating additional pastries and doughnuts is also encouraged.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): My Aries acquaintance Tatiana decided to eliminate sugar from her diet. She drew up a plan to avoid it completely for 30 days, hoping to permanently break its hold over her.