Maxed Out

I dreamed I was sleeping. I didn't even know it was possible to dream you're sleeping. Seems like one of those Möbius thought puzzles. I'm sure I only nodded off briefly but in the netherworld of half here, half there, I dreamed I was sleeping.

There's always a funereal quality around ski resorts this time of year.

Let's be honest for a moment. Not long, just a moment. Won't hurt that much. Without insulting anyone who currently is or has ever been in the military, Canada simply isn't a player, war-wise.

Robert Browning's been haunting me all week. No mean feat for a guy who's been dead 120 years. But then, who better to haunt me than a dead poet.

Remember when you were a kid? I mean a younger kid, not a faux-functioning adult kid like most of us are today. One of the jobs we all had as kids was to push the envelop, test the limits.

Bad Stevie, bad. Where's that rolled up newspaper? Oops, careful; might be mistaken for a big joint and land me in jail.

While I don't exactly have a horse in this race, I'm as concerned as the next person about the outcome of the current pissing match between the Liberal government and the British Columbia Teachers' Federation, at least assuming that person doesn't pa

As loathe as I am to play Canada's favourite game, Blame the Americans, I have to admit I'm feeling that way this week.

If I am what I eat, I could be you by midnight." Okay, admittedly it was the cheesiest of pickup lines.

Oh, what a vile and pernicious person I've become. More troubling still, I didn't even know I'd particularly changed. Not long ago, the things I feared most about growing older had to do with losing whatever mental faculties I could lay claim to.